*Twilight Zone - Text Only Club*
I find myself at a weird intersection in life.
I will admit that I'm someone who prefers texting when it comes to communication.
What I hadn't anticipated was it being a substitute for getting together in person, having phone and or video calls.
I have a friend that for years, the only way we communicated or interacted regarding our friendship was through text.
I try to initiate in-person plans without success. So I isolate and reaching out is harder to do.
I have trouble getting out and being social. I'm already so overwhelmed having to be in public that adding in "talking to and meeting new people" is pretty much impossible at that point.
When I bring up what I'm struggling with people are often dismissive and that makes in harder to open up in the future.
I'm trying to stay hopeful, but it's been hard.
Losing My Phone
I slept all day again for the third day in a row. My phone is losing charge, my car needs repairs, and my boyfriend doesn't know if he can afford it (I sure can't). He talked about how sad it was that no cute girls in dresses were at his church, how he's mad at a high school girl showed interest in choir but now isn't (even though they knew she often showed interest in things and then didn't go through with it, but she's young, I say) whom he stood up for, and I want to say more, but my phone is at 69% battery, and dropping even though plugged in, and it's my only real contact with people. People don't want to hear my problems in real life, and I have no friends or family. I can't leave because of my disabilities and finances. I've called The National Domestic Violence Hotline three or four times, contacted mental health organizations, and government agencies, basically being told to essentially ignore my OCD, and I "have too much going on" for them to help me. My psychiatrist is retiring, I need to find a therapist as well, I have to find new doctors, and so much more. I'm overwhelmed, stressed, obese, unhealthy, and depressed. #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #Connection #phone #Stress #Obesity #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse
I'm going through so much stress. My car may be dying, I think my phone's dying (it won't stay charging, at least, and I've tried different cords, outlets, etc.), and I keep peeing in bed. I've been trying to eat healthier and eat to ease constipation, but now I'm peeing in bed again, and with my OCD, it's making me crazy! I need a therapist and a doctor, but my boyfriend says I should wait until we move. I agree, since we don't know where we'll be, but I also NEED to talk to someone! I am not ok! I'm not suicidal, but I need to find out what's going on and to try to gain my freedom and independence. Right now, my phone and car are my way of connecting. I'm worried the stress will kill me. I don't want to die!
E is for Electronic Communication:
I've had a recent change in meds and one of the biggest changes I've noticed is my withering connection to the joys in my life. A large source of my peace has always been my relationship with God and it is scary to me that since on this new med I can hardly pray. I know for certain that it is the medication because it is in many more areas than just my spiritual life. However, this is the one area that really bothers me.
How do you deal with anhedonia? How have you remained connected spiritually? There are pluses, but this is definitely not one of them.
I can’t do this alone