autism meltdown

So after the SOS post I did my boss seemed to be fine with me; she told me to forget about that day and to do busy work while I wait for patients to finish eating and even helped me with my worker’s compensation claim for being admitted to the ER for suicidal ideation. I am holding a grudge against the coworker who caused the incident and plan to ignore him. I will never forgive him for the pain he caused and shall act as though he is dead because to me he is.
Well my job coach came by and talked to me about it last Thursday and now I might need a new one. She told me that my attitude and behavior is what’s causing the problems and I’m a hypochondriac for looking up things about autism and my physiology. She claims I can control my meltdowns and that I fake blacking out. She thinks me disassociating isn’t real and that even when I get hypoglycemic I can control my actions. She also thinks I’m abusing the accommodation system and that texting my mom during our meetings isn’t normal but rude.
I try to calm down when I feel a meltdown coming on but I get in trouble for leaving my coworkers when I need a breather. I use all the things it says online to calm down but sometimes I just burst from keeping it in. I even try to eat small snacks but some of my coworkers don’t think hypoglycemia is real and tell me to wait. I get overwhelmed and then black out, see myself in 3rd person and when I comeback I cry because I can’t believe I lost control. This only happens frequently at my full time job, my part time job coworkers know my triggers and how to respond to me. My job coach never seemed to educate my managers about my diagnosis and blames me for everything that happens.
I want to know if my actions are normal for autism/NVLD people and if disassociation is a real thing. How can I educate my job coach about this and should I look for a new job coach and a new job? Is this behavioral or my brain being wired differently?

Well after I said “What the F***” and my boss said I need to “Calm Down”(never say that to an autistic person it’s a trigger)in front of costumers,I ran and cried in the bathroom. I texted my mom and my job coach about what happened and was too embarrassed to go back to my work area. My mom said to go up and apologize and explain the situation to him; well I’m a very emotional and analytical person and it did not go over well.

I ended up saying:
I was sorry for using that word but that he prompted that reaction by not using logic to think ahead and asked if he had to go to school to learn logic because he has none. I then added that he must have done it on purpose and was sabotaging me because of how chaotic the situation was and listed all the problems and scenarios that could occur.
He threatened to write me up because I was insulting his intelligence. I told him I wasn’t insulting him I was stating analytical facts and that I’ve looked up the difference before. I ran off again and cried in the bathroom till a coworker found me and tried to calm me down. Problem my job coach called at the same time and made it slightly worse.
She told me to stop focusing on what could happen and focus on the now and that I need to be awear if what I say. I told her I can’t control what I say or do in that situation I’m a passenger to my own body. I then went on my normal “why are all my managers idiots and I have to fix their problems? I can’t be the only smart one working every day all the time.” She told me to quit talking like that and she’d call my manager to see what’s going on.
My coworker helped me out by saying they need me and that I’m one of their hardest workers and to realize that sometimes saying the truth isn’t the best thing. My job coach then called to tell me I need to go home because I wasn’t in a state of mind to work and my boss tried to explain to her all the things he did to fix the situation. I asked her “why I was being punished for something he did. They clearly don’t care about me.” She said I needed to calm down and would check on me in person the next time I work there and that maybe I need to quit one of my jobs because I’m overwhelmed.
I took some ashwagandha and calming essential oil and though still embarrassed decided to continue to finish my shift even though I had taken an hour to cry.

The kicker at the end: I WAS RIGHT! 😝⚖️🎉 what I had told my boss and job coach could happen did happen. I was on a schadenfreude high. I was tempted to shout victory and I left doing this gesture ✌🏼.

Today is a crappy day. It started when I woke up and read the news. There, I read about the next Corona actions. Now, they are about to reduce our range of motion to 9 miles. Although I know that I'm not a big fan of traveling long distances because of my travel sickness, I got furious because of this negative news. I'm also afraid of more ordinances and more severe ordinances by the politicians, like curfews for example.
Just because of this negative news, I got sensory overloaded and I had a slight meltdown and a panic attack. Later, we cleaned the kitchen, and the strong smell of the cleanser caused a headache and a shutdown. My neighbors in the apartments next to mine and in the apartment above mine are always arguing loudly with their wives. Now, I am extremely drained and exhausted, and besides this, I have a headache, an upset stomach, I feel sorry for having a meltdown, a panic attack, and a shutdown in that same afternoon. I also feel sorry for getting rude and aggressive because of my anxiety attack and my meltdown. The only thing I want for now is just skipping the rest of this crappy day as it is sensory hell and unsurvivable for me. I even don't want to watch wrestling tonight, although I'm always looking forward to watch it. I don't know to cope with this crappy day. #Anxiety #AutismMeltdown #Autism #autismspectrumcondition #AutismShutdown #Drained #ExhaustedAlways #exhaustion #chronic Gastritis #Chronicexhaustion #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #SensoryOverloads #SensoryDisorder #SensoryIssues #Depression #PTSD #AutisticAdults #AutisticExhaustion #deadinisde #aggressive #depressed #aggression #Anxietyanddepression #AnxietyAttack #AngerManagement #Feelingsorryformyself #feelingunabletofunction #feelingdeainside #EmotionalBlackouts #mentalblackouts

#AutismMeltdown How many have lost friends because they didn't grasp that meltdowns are involuntary and the tell you to control my illness and think of others first? So you have no choice but to walk away because they ask the impossible.

When my daughter has a meltdown, it can be bad. Kicking me, hitting me, throwing things etc yesterday she was hitting my mom. Thankfully these are not everyday 5/6 times a day, like they were at 1 time. They are 1/2 a week currently. Well my question is when you have a melt down, and if you go non-verbal like she does ?? Do you constantly swear like that’s pretty much all you are saying is swear words till you come down ??

I asked the dr if it could be Tourette’s ? And I talked to her therapist about it. The dr said no to Tourette’s she has full control, and the therapist said no she seems to have control when I seen her. She has seen her but they wasn’t bad like she can get. After this last one Yesterday morning. I don’t know, and really want to hear from others, on if it’s controlled or not. When she was done, she cried bc she won’t stop till she cries. She acts like nothing happened and laughing, and doesn’t seem to really remember what’s happened 2 or 3 hrs earlier. Or however long it was. I want to hear from others tho bc she’s 10 she maybe pulling my leg. I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ thank you #Tryingtofigureitout #learning #10istoyoungtobeswearinglikeasailor

#Autism
I have been living in the same apartment for nearly 5 years and no one had ever been aware of my Autism or Meltdowns. I had one recently and my husband tried to explain it to my landlord and she said she can't have that (Autism) here, now we are being evicted.