Problem with job coach: are autistic meltdowns behavior? #Autism #AutismAdvocacy #nvld #AspergersSyndromeAwareness #AutismMeltdown
So after the SOS post I did my boss seemed to be fine with me; she told me to forget about that day and to do busy work while I wait for patients to finish eating and even helped me with my worker’s compensation claim for being admitted to the ER for suicidal ideation. I am holding a grudge against the coworker who caused the incident and plan to ignore him. I will never forgive him for the pain he caused and shall act as though he is dead because to me he is.
Well my job coach came by and talked to me about it last Thursday and now I might need a new one. She told me that my attitude and behavior is what’s causing the problems and I’m a hypochondriac for looking up things about autism and my physiology. She claims I can control my meltdowns and that I fake blacking out. She thinks me disassociating isn’t real and that even when I get hypoglycemic I can control my actions. She also thinks I’m abusing the accommodation system and that texting my mom during our meetings isn’t normal but rude.
I try to calm down when I feel a meltdown coming on but I get in trouble for leaving my coworkers when I need a breather. I use all the things it says online to calm down but sometimes I just burst from keeping it in. I even try to eat small snacks but some of my coworkers don’t think hypoglycemia is real and tell me to wait. I get overwhelmed and then black out, see myself in 3rd person and when I comeback I cry because I can’t believe I lost control. This only happens frequently at my full time job, my part time job coworkers know my triggers and how to respond to me. My job coach never seemed to educate my managers about my diagnosis and blames me for everything that happens.
I want to know if my actions are normal for autism/NVLD people and if disassociation is a real thing. How can I educate my job coach about this and should I look for a new job coach and a new job? Is this behavioral or my brain being wired differently?