Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

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Learning about myself, again.

I have been looking back at all of my diagnoses. And they explain why I am the way that I am because of thought patterns and mood disorders. I am fascinated at how many problems I have and they explain why I have a more difficult time functioning. Every day is difficult because A) I have to have everything in its proper place, B) I am dependent on others for reassurance, safety, and to help care for myself, C) I am avoidant of meeting new people and new experiences, D) I have a constant depression that is being controlled by sertraline, E) I have mood swings which are controlled by Abilify and F) I have PMDD which is controlled by Depoprovera injections. It’s a difficult road having all these problems. I managed to change a negative thought loop which has made me feel better and more positive so that is a win. Cognitive behavioral therapy and my counselor are a big help with changing my mind and coping with my problems.

#obsessivecompulsivetraits #severesocialanxiety #PersistentDepressiveDisorder
#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PMDD

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Long, difficult weekend

On Saturday, I had a psychiatrist appointment over the phone. I spent the entire morning preparing, making sure I was physically taken care of, mentally and emotionally calm, using my breathing techniques, and had all my notes and safety objects around me. He called, assessed me, and it was over. He concluded that I "don't have a psychiatric disorder", which I think is an oversimplification but it is the answer I was looking for. I need my medical charts to focus on my yet-to-be-diagnosed physical health symptoms, not the already-managed mental health symptoms, and this is a great first step towards that.
[In reality, I experience symptoms of #CPTSD every day, but due to effective practicing of skills, the psych assessed that this no longer causes me significant dysfunctioning, and therefore he considered me clinically well.]
The emotional aftermath of this appointment was incredibly messy, with initial intense excitement, followed by paranoia about being "found out" (for what I'm not clear on), followed by an extreme exhaustion. I had trouble falling asleep, experiencing panic while lying in bed, as I often have in the past.

Then yesterday I saw my mom. It was another emotionally draining experience. I have to practice deep listening and loving speech so carefully, and use meditative thought to protect myself from emotion or concepts that have the potential to cause me harm. It is better, both in the moment and in the end, than the alternative, but exhausting work nonetheless. I woke up twice in the night with racing heartbeat and panic feelings.

I have also started cutting back on my medication recently. Although I've experienced a lot, I believe my increased difficulty at night has more to do with the dosage change. I have a lot of trouble at night during the winter, when the daylight is so scarce, so I have tools I can use when I'm not sleeping well. I can ask my roommates to bunk with me, use aromatherapy, set a bedtime routine, and I have a bedtime medication I use sparingly. If I'm up in the middle of the night, I can meditate, read, play or watch one of my safety games or shows, come on The Mighty, and I can get my roommates if I need help calming down. All that being said, I'm hoping my nights improve as my mindbody adjusts to the lower dose of meds and I continue to practice my skills.

#Meditation #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #5MindfulnessTrainings #Selfcare #CommunityCare


Is #Therapy helping me or just making it easier to hide and pretend I'm not sick?

#Fibromyalgia #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy #Trauma #PositiveThinking #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness
Like, how long are you supposed to "fake it til you make it" or "think positive eventually your thoughts will BE positive" I've been in therapy for years. I'm on more than enough drugs. I've had SO much therapy, that I'm at this point I feel like fooling myself. Like maybe I just got better at faking it is all. The coping mechanisms just helped me get better at hiding it. Happy 6 months since my fibro diagnosis. It's still pretty "light" compared to most people's I feel like. However, I know that virtually no chronic illness gets"better" over time. I'm 29. I think I need an "oh shit" bar in my shower. I already have a mat. I HATE thinking long term. I am on tinermittent FMLA however I work fulltime hours. I'm NOT ready to succumb. To anything. To #HashimotosThyroiditis to the fibro to #BipolarDisorder to any of it. I'm not ready to admit I'm "different" than other people. And I'm always comparing myself to others and frustrated. I KNOW I shouldn't. I KNOW I do a great job. I KNOW I'm managing fine. However, i AM different, and i can hope for "better" but that's it. No cure. No "normal" not the same "productivity" as everyone else. I hate it. I FUCKING HATE IT. I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS. I want to help my single mom sister, I want to control my emotions, I want to be better at work. I want to be independent. I want to be able to work my 8 hours and do laundry in the same day. I want to be able to read a whole paragraph without getting lost. #help


Please help! Starting therapy: is CBT ok considering I can’t find DBT professionals where I live?

I’ve been doing psychoanalysis for my whole life and for a while I’ve been really bad and progressively less functional.. so now I was really determined to start DBT but it’s just not possible where I live.. would you say CBT is worth trying?
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy


Has anyone tried CBT for BPD? Has it helped?

I'm in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the second time. I'm wanting to know if anyone's tried it and if it's helped anyone? What has helped you be successful in CBT?
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CBT #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy