Join the Conversation on
113 people
0 stories
7 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in
See full photo

Every Despondent Day

Today is one of those days. You know the kind. The kind where no matter what people say, look, do cheering up is just not happening. Short of someone telling me, I won the lottery. My total take home amount after taxes is 1 billion dollars, yeah, cheering up is not in the cards. I am not sure how many others are out there who have these days. These days you feel trapped. Since my divorce, I have no car, and no official income. I live with my retired parents and unemployed brother.(I am not sure why he doesn't even try to get a job but I am sure something is wrong with his spirit. He has mental issues of his own too. So, I try to cut him some slack.) I've been applying for menial jobs just to have some stream of income, with absolutely no success. Sure, I am halfway through a data analytics course. I have been working on this for 3 months. However, that brings in no income. On days like this I feel like I have climbed halfway up the depression hole, only to discover I am still at the bottom. All of the climbing you did yesterday was around the hole, not upwards. Also, by the way, the hole gets deeper every day. On days like this, my 100 square foot room feels like a glorified prison. I know I need to cry. I know I feel like this because I am exhausted and weary of the daily wear and tear life puts on us but there is no way to activate the catharsis because I officially have no one who "gets it". I have no one who gets me. I just want someone to give me a call, tell me, "Let's go have some fun. Don't worry I will pay." I want to get you out of the house. I want to get you away from the oppressive life you live with older Christian puritanical judgmental parents and family on watch, an annoying brother who will not get off the couch and bleeding clipped wings that long to escape this mind and body. Yeah, it's one of those days you have to wait it out.

#Depression #depressed #lonely #hopeless #MentalHealth #exhausted #weary #stuck #prison #catharsis #Isolation #Judgement #Escape #Needabreak #Fun #betterdays #Divorced #single #unemployed #noincome #livingwithparents #careerchange #financialstress#waitingforbetterdays

52 reactions 18 comments
See full photo

How my disability try to get me down. But, in Al Pacino voice, I still standing!!

This statement is how I am currently feeling about my Mental Illness disability. It started at first at age 19 yrs old when I was an administrative assistant in a company in NYC and I wanted a higher position and was told no due to me not being of same race. So I quit and started working for law firm and just completed my paralegal certification. But yet, I was working as a clerk! I noticed first hand how my anxiety was kicking in. Ears hot heart pumping anger at its peak. I heard stuff only I hear and I was told by my mom I just stressed. Ok years went by I changed my career after several quitting episodes at different law firms and even started my own business . Now Ms Anxiety had a friend called Ms Stressor and sidekick Ms Depression who loves to hangout with the jokester Ms Boarderline Personality Disorder. I hope you all are following me thus far. Now I live in new state n raising 3 children and working 3 jobs away from my main support my mom. Because of all this I had to change my career 3 times and had 2 divorces under my belt. Now I am on disability for first time and I was angry 😡 at the world around me. I was introduced to inpatient and IOP and PHP and ACUTE PHP. During this phase in life I was giving up at age of around 30s. Here is Ms Suicidal Ideation with Sassy Auditorio and Haluscenary with OCD yup!! Good ole Pyschescefenia I still can not spell it smh. But I brushed myself off and change my career again after 5 yrs on disability . I continued with therapy and now my life puzzle and lite at end of tunnel was bright and I pushed myself and helped others. I learned Coping and acceptance and Recovery Wow!! This easy! Now I am in EMDR and DBT and Cognative Therapy and a provider too!! All these years I was angry because the people who wanted to be my provider learned it from books!! Here I am a consumer and learned more from books and education! Yup career change again but for purpose. Now it’s during pandemic and have adult kids n grandkids and at best job ever helping my community and getting paid to travel! Now it’s 2022 and that wrench 🔧 was tossed at my life once again!!! My disability have new names, PTSD and Childhood Trauma and Orthopedic issues and Pulmonary Hypertension and it’s hello Oxygen!!! But I say this, I may be temporary down but I will be back!!! 😉 #careerchange

10 reactions 4 comments

Is there ever a “right time” to begin something new with a chronic illness?

Hello all! I have a question: Is there ever a “right time” to begin something new? I’m in recovery from depression and am doing very well. It’s been a long, hard battle coupled with several autoimmune diseases. Mentally, I’m doing great, and physically, I am holding steady. I’ve been on disability for a little over two years now and am considering accepting a job helping coordinate care for very ill children. It would be a job that I would feel extremely passionate about, but I worry about my disability. It is full time and is described as being very busy, but has a supportive staff to help. It’s also a sit down job, so I wouldn’t have to worry about physical stamina as much. I just worry that it will be too much or I’ll find myself unable to do it someday and I worry. What are your thoughts? #Disability #careerchange #TooSoon ?



I attended a workshop on graphology few weeks back and I had a major emotional breakdown in front of 100 ppl across my country.. so I took up the certification course for the same .. and was you know imagining a conversation about a trait and was wondering how will turn out I know it's weird I do it alot ( it makes me memorize easily lol) so... My mentor said one sentence in the workshop to me
" what are you doing with your career and that you are playing with your life"
I usually don't think about things like this also because it gives me the amount of anxiety which definately results in panic attacks and then a week of body pain and what not.
I realised I have become forgetful.. you know..
I have been forgetting so many bad memories that I think I am not able to learn from them.
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Or even if I should be worried about it or not...
I think I am letting go of things very easily yk...
What do you say should I do something about it or should I leave it as it is .. ?
#CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttack #careerchange


Professionals with #Anxiety, burn out recovery and career

Hello people, I'm a 34 yr old bloke currently recovering from a pretty severe bout of burnout, courtesy of life long anxiety and a super stressful and unsuportive contracting engineering environment. As people know burnout takes a bit of recovering and I'm trying to evaluate this time round for myself whether I switch careers/work to live better, so I'm not consumed by the anxiety /worry at work. It consumes my life when it's bad and I'm just wondering from other professionals out there who may have suffered the anxiety/burnout/depression triple combo, whether they have pursued a career change to something either low stress or an alternate career path suited to their proclivity to experience anxiety across their life? Did the change make your life better overall? Or did the same issues with your health still pop up in the new space? Are there certain jobs or careers where people with anxiety traditionally thrive? I'm back at work currently in a reduced capacity, but don't really want to be in honesty. It's like I don't want to be doing this. But life and bills, and I don't know what else I could swing to without encountering a similar set of circumstances. It's a catch 22 with anxiety as you inevitably are perceived to be avoiding situations by leaving them. I just know I want to find my place where I thrive at work and am happy and can contribute meaningfully and also build a meaningful life for myself around and outside that job. Finding what that is is the hard part. Be interested to hear peoples experiences good bad or otherwise. Any tips or advice would be muchly appreciated. #Anxiety #Burnout #Depression #careerevaluation #careerchange

1 comment

I’m 24, I was a nurse and now I understand I can physically no longer do this. Any advice from others on new career paths? I feel lost! #Fibromyalgia #Pain #Nurse #Career #help #lost

I’m at a crossroads and am doing working with OT, PT, and a pain specialist to get back to work, but I feel like I no longer know who I am. I have no desire to go back to nursing. I feel lost. Any advice? Anyone changed careers? #ChronicPain #young #HealthAnxiety #Work #Jobs #careerchange #MyofascialPainSyndrome #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #vitamind #Osteoarthritis #Osteomyelitis #MyofascialPainSyndrome #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #ChronicIllness


The Captain Part II #MightyPoets

My sailboat has often drifted at sea
Trusting that the divine winds and currents
Will drive me to my next destination
It’s been the experience in all my occupation docks
I only had to motor into port
When it was already in sight

I hear the stories of other travellers
Some lived their whole life like this
And seemed at peace with whatever destination arrived
Others motored with purpose towards specific ports
Still experiencing peace with the wind at their backs
And still others were spoiled for choice
Knowing wherever they landed, the God of peace would be with them.

Right now, it seems like my drifting
Keeps me in the middle of a barren ocean
And when I motor ahead
I’m beaten back by the wind and the waves
I’m sure that there are unseen currents
Slowly pointing me towards a new country
I can see it. Faintly.  I know its name in a general sense,
But I have no clue on where exactly I will make landfall,
Let alone dock or make my home.

I may be spoiled for choice.
I may have to trust like Abraham.
Called from known home to journey to an unknown land
Trusting in the Divine Guide
To lead me safely into sheltered harbour
But right now I need safety
From the storms and waves of uncertainty + doubt.
The ones within along with the ones without
I need the Lord of all to shout.
“Peace!  Be Still!”

© Mark Bryant