How my disability try to get me down. But, in Al Pacino voice, I still standing!!
This statement is how I am currently feeling about my Mental Illness disability. It started at first at age 19 yrs old when I was an administrative assistant in a company in NYC and I wanted a higher position and was told no due to me not being of same race. So I quit and started working for law firm and just completed my paralegal certification. But yet, I was working as a clerk! I noticed first hand how my anxiety was kicking in. Ears hot heart pumping anger at its peak. I heard stuff only I hear and I was told by my mom I just stressed. Ok years went by I changed my career after several quitting episodes at different law firms and even started my own business . Now Ms Anxiety had a friend called Ms Stressor and sidekick Ms Depression who loves to hangout with the jokester Ms Boarderline Personality Disorder. I hope you all are following me thus far. Now I live in new state n raising 3 children and working 3 jobs away from my main support my mom. Because of all this I had to change my career 3 times and had 2 divorces under my belt. Now I am on disability for first time and I was angry 😡 at the world around me. I was introduced to inpatient and IOP and PHP and ACUTE PHP. During this phase in life I was giving up at age of around 30s. Here is Ms Suicidal Ideation with Sassy Auditorio and Haluscenary with OCD yup!! Good ole Pyschescefenia I still can not spell it smh. But I brushed myself off and change my career again after 5 yrs on disability . I continued with therapy and now my life puzzle and lite at end of tunnel was bright and I pushed myself and helped others. I learned Coping and acceptance and Recovery Wow!! This easy! Now I am in EMDR and DBT and Cognative Therapy and a provider too!! All these years I was angry because the people who wanted to be my provider learned it from books!! Here I am a consumer and learned more from books and education! Yup career change again but for purpose. Now it’s during pandemic and have adult kids n grandkids and at best job ever helping my community and getting paid to travel! Now it’s 2022 and that wrench 🔧 was tossed at my life once again!!! My disability have new names, PTSD and Childhood Trauma and Orthopedic issues and Pulmonary Hypertension and it’s hello Oxygen!!! But I say this, I may be temporary down but I will be back!!! 😉 #careerchange