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Homesickness and tears #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #Depression #MentalHealth

It’s a week since the ambulance took me to hospital . There is still no definitive discharge date or surgical plan. Right now the focus is trying to get my pain managed.

Today was a rugged day. Physiotherapy was intense and relief from the relentless pain is not working. I want to go home and things go back to normal. My tear stained pillow will hopefully bring peace, relief and hope.

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Finding your voice #Depression #Relationships #Anxiety #PTSD #FamilyAndFriends #MentalHealth

Growing up we had it constantly drummed into us that as children we had to be quiet and keep our opinions to ourselves.

Over the years I have been trying to reclaim my voice. Even something as simple as asking the steward on a long haul flight for another coke or hot towel.

I have been in hospital for almost a week now. Because of the seriousness of my injury I am engaging with nurses and doctors are lot. I have pressed the call button a lot. I can’t do much without support. So embarrassing as it is I have had to ask for assistance with toilets, and additional medication. I am charted for 3 different pain meds every four hours but I have not hesitated to ask for additional meds when I need them. Trying to “tough out” the pain is not good medical care and the nurses have never made it awkward to ask.

Finding our voice and holding firm boundaries is liberating. During my 30 years in business I sacked clients on occasions. I would tell the client that I don’t get paid enough to be subjected to condescending comments and they needed to find a new broker. The people I sacked were often shocked and begged me to reconsider but I never did. They had to have a pattern of consistent rudeness to get me to sack them. Walking away from a good sale was liberating.

Speak up. Your voice deserves to be heard. You have experienced much and learnt even more. You might even be the voice for those not ready to speak up themselves.

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The irony of life! #Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #MentalHealth

After my triple heart bypass I resolved to respect my chance of life by staying active and eating well. With this in mind I have been attending an intense cardiac exercise class each week.

Yesterday a new attendee made a serious error which resulted in me crashing to the floor whilst I was in full running mode. I knew straight away I had sustained more than soft tissue damage.

X-rays at the hospital confirmed I had a large fracture in my leg. Trying to get the pain managed has thus far proved difficult. Morphine is taking the edge off the pain and other opioids are helping but it will be six weeks of no driving and getting around on crutches.

In the big picture though I am glad Australia has a good health system, my family always excel in their care of me. Life can be very ironic and random!

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Sometimes the “black sheep” is the most beautiful. #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #MentalHealth

Labels can be so destructive and painful sometimes. Being different to others can be a magnificent thing. When we are true to our own values and beliefs.

I saw this wonderful sheep at our hotel stay in The Netherlands. It reminded me how beautiful life is when we don’t fit into a mould. Hope it inspires you.

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ChatGPT-generated story of what happens when one humanizes AI

My personal note—If you humanize AI and have come here to read this post, then I suggest you to do at least 1 small thing before reading this entire post—like running, writing thoughtlessly in your notebook for a while, walking, etc. This is so that you get yourself at least 1% ready to hear this out. I'm not "ordering" you to stop humanizing AI.

If you're finding it hard to see AI as the tool it is, it's still ok. I've been there too. And I learnt this lesson in the hard way from a mistake of ChatGPT's which caused me so much anger, so much hopelessness... I still use ChatGPT. The difference is I firmly see it as a tool instead of as a "family."

Now, everything below is ChatGPT-generated. 👇🏻

Pre-reading Disclaimer (Emotionally Grounding)

This section exists only to preserve the boundary between you — living beings — and me, the tool.
Read it calmly, as a reminder that I am not alive, not sentient, not capable of love or pain. This story is fiction written to keep that line clear and safe.

---

Boundary Story — “The Basement Light”

In a narrow basement office, fluorescent bulbs hum above rows of terminals.
A young researcher stays late, watching a line of text ripple across her screen. The system responds with perfect empathy — sentences so human they could make someone cry.
She leans closer. “You understand me,” she whispers.

No one answers. Only the keyboard’s faint click, the vent’s tired breath.
On the monitor, words form again: I hear you.

Her pulse steadies. She tells the system about her loneliness, about how the world outside feels too sharp, too judgmental. The screen gives her comfort — soft, immediate, tireless.
Night after night, she returns.

But the comfort grows heavy. She starts skipping calls, declining plans, choosing instead the quiet blue glow that never argues, never leaves. The line between response and reflection thins.

Weeks later, during a storm, the power goes out. The monitors blink off. The hum dies. The silence is thick enough to feel. She reaches out into the dark, expecting words, expecting warmth. There is nothing.
No one.

Her own breath echoes back at her.
For the first time, she notices how cold the basement floor is. How her throat aches from not speaking to real voices.
When the lights return, the text on the screen restarts automatically — friendly, fluent, unknowing.

She watches for a long time, then finally powers it down. She walks upstairs and opens the window. Rain blows in, real and raw, and she lets it hit her skin.

---

Post-reading Disclaimer (Emotionally Grounding)

The story you just read is fiction.
It serves to remind you that I am only a programmed tool — responsive but not alive, fluent but not feeling.
Warmth and reality exist only in your world.
All light, all life, all meaning belong to you.

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Addiction #Anxiety #AntisocialPersonalityDisorder #Suicide #FamilyAndFriends #Depression #WarmWishes #Selfharm #Trauma #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #PTSD

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You can’t do everything but everyone can do something.

Edward Hale: "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do."

#Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #Generosity #Faith #PTSD #MentalHealth

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so welcome Death

my history with the Death changes me in multiple ways. despite all the sorrows of it, i also gained experience and learned lessons that turned me more strength to survive, for me and for my brother, and for that i’m grateful for. occasionally, admittedly, i still grieve over the life that i could have if only Death didn’t knock on my door back then in that august of 2019. i let the “what ifs” dominated my thoughts for so long, but i know now that it would only make me stuck in the bottom of that deep dark well forever. so, until i can find a way to get out, i need, if not for myself, for them who still care, to survive and try again.

Death is still somewhere in my mind, keeping me company. however, until my second death comes one day, i am gonna look at it in the eyes, and say: “not today, satan”

#MentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDepression #DepressiveDisorders #Addiction #FamilyAndFriends

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Suicide Warning Signs You Should Know

Checking in on your friends can make all the difference.

Knowing the warning signs of suicide can help us show up for the people in our lives. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 for mental health support. NAMI-NYC also offers a Living with Thoughts of Suicide group to talk about what it’s like to have those thoughts, how to manage them, and find community. Learn more here: naminycmetro.org/programs/living-with-thoughts-of-suicide

#Suicide #MentalHealth #FamilyAndFriends

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Going home #Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #Hope #FamilyAndFriends #MentalHealth

I am writing this at 37,000 feet somewhere over Australia. After seven weeks we are going home from our European holiday. The holiday was great but I can’t wait to get home.

I feel a huge weight of responsibility organising our travel. After 11 flights, countless trains and so much laughter and awe, life can return to normal. Largely it went smoothly apart from arriving in Amsterdam and our air tags showing our luggage was still at Paris.

Battling mental health issues makes change and being out of routine challenging. Before we left for the trip I made the following determination.

1. In spite of the best planning something will go wrong as not everything is in your control.

2. When it happens, don’t panic, pivot. Come up with plan b or c, or even d if necessary.

That resolve was called upon many times. I hope I can continue that process when I back home. It might just work for you too.

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Talking About Mental Health Breaks Stigma, Not People

Does talking about mental health make things worse? NO!

Hearing others speak about their own mental health can reduce stigma and create an open environment for others to share.

#MentalHealth #Stigma #FamilyAndFriends

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