Family and Friends

In 1999 a fellow Pastor rang me and asked me to go with him to Thailand. The trip was in 3 weeks. I said “I would pray about it”. Which meant I had no intention of going but I didn’t want to sound unspiritual.

It became clear God wanted me to go so I went. For 10 days we worked non stop. The night before coming home I was asked to speak one more time. I was exhausted and protested. Finally I agreed to go and would speak one last time.

For a long time before the trip I had been praying to have a true friend. One that would be there for both good and bad times. One I could be transparent with.

After I spoke, everyone there asked me to pray for them. I prayed short, to the point prayers for everyone. Yet, I was drawn back to one guy. I asked him if he struggled with this area of life, that I specified to him. He was shocked and asked how I knew. I explained God had revealed this to me because I could help him.

We became best friends. Many years ago when I first faced mental health issues he jumped on a plane and came to Australia to see me. We are always completely honest and accountable to each other. I would die for him.

Through the busyness of life we have not seen each other for 7 years. Until yesterday. He was in Manila on a business trip. I was flying into Manila after our ministry in Davao.

We got to meet for one hour before he left The Philippines. What a precious miracle. To be able to hug, talk and laugh. One beautiful hour. If I hadn’t gone to Thailand when I did. If I had rested on the last night. I could have missed our friendship. I am so grateful!

As we continue to visit The Philippines it’s been quite confronting and also very fulfilling. Yesterday we visited some families living in the slums of Davao. When we were here 3 years ago we established a program of support for these families and it was very emotional to go back and see how the children have grown and thrived.

We can’t help everyone. We can help some though and we must. We continue to explore micro industries we can fund to generate income for these families and give them control of their destiny.

The thing that never ceases to amaze me is how happy these people are. They know what matters. It’s not status or social media likes. Its relationships. It’s gratitude for everything. These people inspire and challenge me.

Some people mistakenly believe that being in hospital is restful. It’s not far from it. Here is the usual routine from my last hospital stay.

2 am Observations
6am Observations
7am Team handover
7:30am Shower
8am Breakfast arrives
8:30 Nurse brings fresh towels
9am Exercise rehabilitation
10am Observations
10:30 am Morning tea delivered to room
11:00 am Menu is delivered for the next day
11:00 am Cleaner comes
11:30 am Nurse changes my sheets
12:00 lunch is delivered
1 pm Lunch tray collected
2pm observations
2:15 Visit from family
2:30pm Afternoon tea
2:50pm Handover to afternoon shift
3:00pm Doctor visits and asks lots of questions
3:30pm Exercise Rehabilitation class
5:00pm Return to room, exhausted
5:30pm Observations
6:00pm Dinner is served
7:00pm Dinner tray removed
8:00pm Tea and Coffee served
9:30pm Observations
10:30pm Handout to Night shift

The thing I realised once I was home was how important all of these people were. The people who delivered my meals were as valuable the nurses. My interactions with the cleaners were friendly and positive.

Then it occurred to me. Me getting well required a multi disciplined team. Surgeons, Doctors, Nurses, Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists etc.
as well as numerous auxiliary staff.

When my mental health has needed attention it’s been a variety of people who have gotten me to a place of health. Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Nurses, GPs, Family and Friends, Church leaders, etc.

The common denominator in all these situations has been the acknowledging the need for help. Thank God for so many people willing to help others.

Rehab was hard work this morning. Which is great news. It’s a sign my body is recovering, in fact the readings of movement in my leg showed a lot of improvement in the past 2 weeks.

While exercising I overheard an elderly lady who was quite distressed that she couldn’t go to hydrotherapy at 10:30 instead of 11:15 as the class was full. She had another appointment today so needed the change.

I approached her and offered to swap sessions with her as I have no appointments until 3pm. She almost started crying. Such a simple thing to bless someone.

I used my available time to go to the hospital cafe for a much needed macchiato. The waitress brought me my coffee and said, “I have drawn you in the coffee”. I looked down at the coffee and she says, “That is you, Mr Smiley”.

What a unique and unexpected blessing. Today is panning out so well.

While I was doing inpatient rehabilitation I encountered some people who expressed frustration that I seemed to be recovering faster than they were.

I reminded them that their surgery was different to mine, we have different ages and every person’s journey is different.

I encouraged them to keep pressing on. And there were days when pain management seemed impossible and they would encourage me.

We tend to judge people on their actions and judge ourselves on our intentions.

Comparison leads to misery. We never really know what is going on in people’s lives. Facebook and Instagram tend to focus on the good times people experience so they are a bad gauge of reality.

You matter. You are loved. You are unique and that is absolutely marvellous!!!

Your strongest friends need check-ins too. This year, reach out and let them know they don’t have to hold everything alone.

#MentalHealth #FamilyAndFriends

#Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #Trauma #MentalHealth

Its been more than 3 months since an accident at a gym upended my world. I am still attending rehabilitation twice a week and need a crutch to move about.

This accident meant I have now had 9 surgeries in the last 3 years. One of the important lessons I have learnt is that when a nurse or doctor is standing in front of me, they cannot read my mind. It is up to me to answer their questions as accurately and honestly as I can.

I recall that after a triple heart bypass my daughter said to a nurse that if I tell them my pain level is 5 then it really is 7. She said to them I will always minimise your responses because I don't want to be a bother.

Sadly she is right. With this latest bout of surgeries I have strived to be as honest as I can. There is no glory in trying to "tough" out pain. After 3 months I am really over pain and restriction but I am being honest with my family and the medical staff about how I am doing.

When we are upfront about our health we are opening ourselves to more appropriate help and greater assistance. You are not a nuisance. You are not defective. You are human, just like everybody else.

Reminder to do one small thing today that supports your well-being.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #Addiction #FamilyAndFriends #selfcare

Reminder to do one small thing today that supports your well-being.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #Addiction #FamilyAndFriends #selfcare

Instead of making resolutions for yourself this year, show up for someone else and participate in our Check-In Challenge! A simple check-in can encourage a loved one to prioritize their mental health.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #FamilyAndFriends