Guilty

I feel guilty for not accomplishing something during the day. I was diagnosed with #clinical Depression over 30 years ago. I am in my 70’s now. I am afraid when my life is reviewed when I get to heaven God will say you were lazy and didn’t work like you should have. How will God look at us who didn’t accomplish much?

My cousin keeps calling a lot. Talking for like a long time at the time. The conversation is pretty much the same topics. I always get #Anxiety when he calls. I used to get anxious thinking during the week when he will call. During the #COVID19 lockdowns. I just can't take it. lol. I mean i do like and love my cousins. It's just sometimes, some things can be to much. But im not a phone person. I pretty much only call when i need to. lol. But whenever i answer the phone he just asks to talk to my dad. So i don't bother answering. So sometimes my dad won't answer the phone. I feel kind of guilty for not like talking on the phone. I guess we all some person like this. He isn't a bad person.

My uncle said, he told him That sometimes he is busy to talk. To leave a message. And he will call back when he can. Maybe my dad will have to say the same thing.

#TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

I think my cousin is just lonely and maybe needs someone to talk to. That is what makes me feel #Guilty

Can not breathe but no one is chocking me

Can not sleep, but no one is making a noise

Do not want to accept, even if it is the truth

Do not want to be reminded , even if I forgot

Has never been easy, I wish those memories were long gone

But I need to be kind to myself and move on

#Bipolar1Disorder #Love #Shame #Mania #Anxiety #Sadness #Guilty #black #MightyPoets

So last night I was craving a pizza and I figured you know why not it's okay to treat yourself sometimes. So I ordered a large pizza and I ate the whole entire pizza in one sitting I went to sleep and today I avoid looking in the mirror. Even the smallest glance I start to cry I feel so guilty just thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about it I don't know why I'm obsessing over something that everyone does naturally this has never happened before I mean I always had self esteem issues but not to this extent and I'm freaking out

I fucked up yesterday. I had a #Relapse and today I'm a wreak. It's been so long since I've had to keep making sure my sleeves don't slip up, since it's been painful to hold and carry my daughter, since my arms have stung in the shower. I feel terrible. I feel so weak for giving in to the temptation. I've thought about #Selfharm all day. It's so hard not to slip up again. My daughter is at her dads for another week, but I visited today to help out with her birthday party. I'm so thankful she's with him, because ever since I got home again I've been #Crying . I feel so #Guilty . I've fucked up before, and I always feel guilty. But this time it's different. It's so much deeper, so much more painful. I don't know why I'm writing this.. Maybe because I have no one else to talk to.. I haven't been to therapy for three weeks. I usually go twice a week, but my therapist is going through a family emergency. I understand that she has to deal with this, and I sympatise with her situation. It's just been so hard not having anyone to talk to about what I'm going through emotionally. I know I can talk to my kids dad. He's my best friend. But I don't wanna ruin his time with our daughter. We have 50/50 shared custody, and she spends two weeks at each place because of his work schedual. I know I need more help than I've gotten these weeks, but I have no one exept him.. I can't talk to my family about this. They have way too much going on with my sister. I don't wanna put more weight on their shoulders.. But I'm struggling so bad.. I feel so alone.. Maybe I just needed to vent..

#Anxiety #Guilty #COVID19
I started having cold symptoms last Monday at first I thought it was my allergies till I realized it was right after my roommate started having symptoms. So I classified it as a cold as mine started two days after hers. I missed one day off my classes but went to the next because I felt better. I did improve a bit throughout the days. But I am still blowing my nose which is my normal colds. But now I’m feeling guilty thinking it was covid and didn’t get tested. That was literally my only symptoms. One of my friends just got tested that I was with but her first symptom was stomach issues. She was trying to get me to test today but I do not know if there would even be a point as it’s been over a week and I literally have one symptom and I don’t think it would be accurate. I just feel very guilty and selfish that I did not get tested earlier I feel like it’s my fault for her getting sick.#stupid #Anxiety Is there anything I can do to prevent me from feeling like this or I can do better?

At least that’s how it feels.
I have a wonderful partner, I want to marry him some day, he is my world.
I have a best friend, she lives in another state, but we text and watch tv over FaceTime together all the time.
I have the best dog EVER, my baby boy, he keeps me motivated and positive.
And yet.. I’m so lonely. All the time.
When I wake up, when I’m spending time with my partner, when I’m walking the dog, til the moment I fall asleep.
I just feel so empty.
I’ve felt this way since I was small, probably from the constant emotional abuse and neglect, but I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of being comfortable with feeling like crap, all the time, because I was never allowed to be happy, I was told I was just being “MANIC,” and getting on HER nerves. I want to LIVE, and not care about what everyone is thinking and to let myself FEEL without worrying I’m going to bother or offend somebody.
It’s painful.
I feel so guilty.
There are people who have it way worse but

It’s SO lonely.
#lonely #Guilty #Ramble #Vent

I hate guilt, as many of us do. My therapist has brought this up for years as I really struggle with it. I hate to cause discomfort for anyone so I always put myself last in every relationship to avoid guilt. It has worked for years but now I realize how unhealthy this is and the harm I have caused myself. I know this behavior has fed into my anxiety and depression.

My question to all of you is - how do you process feelings of guilt? What’s your unique process?
#MentalHealthHero #Anxiety #Depression #Guilty

Just having one of those days were even the body feels you..tired, grumpy,sad,sick stomach...mi brain just go and go . Can't stop it. I try to watch tv but Im not paying attention, I want to do something but end up going something else....feel again,sad,guilty,ugly,worthless... #sad #tired #Guilty #Fail