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Sometimes I feel crazy

In the moment, when I’m reacting to something or doing a behavior, I feel like it’s “normal” or makes sense. I don’t question it. Then a bit after when I’m reflecting, I think, “why did I do that? That’s insane”. And looking back, my behaviors/reactions are either over-the-top and/or very impulsive. This happens all the time. I feel crazy when I do/say certain things, but I only feel crazy when I look back and reflect on it. I can’t help myself in the moment. It makes me feel like sometimes I’m a completely different person. I continue to overreact emotionally and say things that shouldn’t be said, and I don’t realize until after that what I did is NOT what “normal” people do. I can’t tell if it’s how I normally act or if it’s from a certain situation. I almost feel detached from myself and my behaviors. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Selfharm #Addiction #Impulsivity #ADHD

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Confession compulsions #Anxiety #Shame #Impulsivity #Selfharm

Anyone else suffer with confession compulsion? Even when I KNOW I’ve admitted everything, I still have crazy anxiety about what I’ve done. Even seemingly small things - I have to give it up. I can’t eat. My husband says he isn’t leaving me but I just can’t shake this manic kind of anxiety. Any suggestions?

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Have you ever?

Have your ever felt like no one understands you?

Like you are alive but yet you feel like you are also dead

Have you ever tried to reach out or talk

But then, you are like 'nah, they won't get it'

Have you ever felt so anxious,

you masked it with ridiculously lame and 'weird' humour or sarcasm?

Just to make it look like you are super chill but you are really just nervous

Have you ever wanted to win a stranger's heart

By giving them random compliments or by trying to make them smile or laugh

Secretly thinking to yourself that this is exactly how you feel everyone should be and treat each other

Have you ever been so naive to ignore the bad in someone and focus solely on the positives and look at the good in everyone?

Have you ever been so foolish that you've tried to help and support or cheer up someone that has repeatedly hurt you and you know does not care about you and probably would not do the same in return? Yet, you do it anyways?

Have you ever just stared into space, zoned out and smile...

Imagining your perfect little dream world

Imagining Utopia

Have you ever been so naturally 'high' that people have assumed you drank or did drugs?

Have you ever felt happy inside but on the outside felt scared to express or show it because of well, so-called evil eye

Have you ever not believed in superstitions yet still been anxious and overthink your interactions due to them

Have you ever just been happy for no reason at all like a child

Have you ever... just spontaneously wrote a post like this without even thinking?

Impulsivity can be fun but it can be exhausting...

Humour can be fun but be tiring...

Good things come and go; it is okay to feel not okay and for bad times to also come, they also go.

Don't stop being you due to the bad moments or days

KEEP SMILING :) :) Your energy is contagious and is needed to make the world go round - YING YANG - hippie style

#modernhippie #hippiestyle #yingyang #loa #TheSecret #Energy #vibe #GoodVibes #smile #keepsmiling #haveyouever #justdoit #taketheinitiative #takerisks #risk #Risks #Impulsivity #spontaneous #bebold #bold #Brave #courage #strength #Independence #freedom #freedomwriters #resilience #Empathy #compassion #humanity #happyness #pursuitofhappyness #justlisten #listen #justobserve

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Struggling #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #Impulsivity #Addiction

Obsessively searching via online dating to find my person but just replacing one heart break with the next falling for someone fix and then heartache again.

Cannot seem to break this cycle feels obsessive and addictive but still can't get off this ride.

Does anyone else struggle with this?? Please I need help right now. I do receive counselling which is awesome but not to 2 weeks and I have done DBT. I used to have diazepam which I really feel I need again.
Thank u xx

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Everything we say or do has a positive or a negative consequence. Though, with me having ADHD, it is really hard to think of anything, especially what will happen, before I just do it. I am very impulsive and half of the time, I don't think before I do.

Mindfulness has really helped me be one in the present moment, not worrying about the future or making irrational decisions. I recommend mindfulness to everyone, not just people with ADHD.

Whatever we say or do makes a difference. It has to, or else there can be no change, or things to learn from. When we realize this, we become more present and think about the effects of our actions. Everything we do matters. Not just to ourselves, but others, as well.

#ADHD #Mindfulness #Impulsivity #positivequotes



My stepdaughter (she's 11, ADHD, ASD, ODD) was making such forward progress. She had largely stopped stealing things (she used to get into literally everything in the house and steal stuff just for the sake of stealing it). But that had mostly stopped we went months and had maybe two instances. Her mom has lost her regular job in March, though she has still been working and it isn't as though how much time my stepdaughter has by herself decreased. She started a new job last Thursday morning. Immediately my stepdaughter went back to stealing and such at every moment she is unsupervised. But nothing has changed cuz of the hours my wife works. Her mom went back to work and she immediately started doing it again. What are some ways you have found to address and help a child "control" or redirect their impulsivity? #ADHD #Autism #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #Impulsivity

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I recently had a medical scare. I needed to stay in ERD two nights.
In the process of being cared for, I was possibly exposed to COVID. I heard the nurses tell my ERD roommate that she tested positive for the virus. We had been in same room many hours.

After being discharged, I did not know if my new 101 degree F fever was due to my infection or due to COVID, I panicked, because I live with elderly parents. I impulsively made a series of decisions and actions that I “thought” (but didn’t think out) was the best way to prevent anyone from getting exposed to COVID. I wanted to get tested, negative for the virus, a couple times, over several days, to ensure everyone’s safety. I had no way to quarantine.

My erratic impulsive behavior ended up causing me to be involuntarily placed, in a psychiatric hospital, by law enforcement officers, once again.

I was finally cleared of COVID, and I was released. I became depressed again, from not only the way my life was going, but from my illnesses symptoms. I continued to present with a barrage of sudden symptoms.

I fought with my extreme low self-image. Aggressive impulsivity, emotional dis-regulation paranoia, SIB, unclear thinking/ decisions making and sudden feelings of hopelessness overpowered me.

Facing another hospitalization on my records andsuffering from generalized hopelessness, I seriously contemplated leaving my known life and everyone in it behind, I had planned to run from the shelter snd love I know, to anywhere on the streets where no one would know me, to wait out my life.

That is how quick and severe my illness and unclear thinking can become.

This bottoming out, yet again, led me to a new BELIEF. This was not just the REALIZATION that I needed to ACCEPT myself exactly as I am. It is, in this moment, the actually EXPERIENCE of ACCEPTANCE IN MY HEART!! #hopelessness #symptoms #moodswings #Impulsivity #Acceptance

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How do you manage impulsive spending habits, especially during the holidays? #CheckInWithMe

When it comes to the holidays and gift-giving, it’s incredibly easy for me to impulsively shop. Between my wanting to get the “perfect gift” for someone and dealing with my emotional and financial triggers, it can be challenging.

If you’re in a similar boat as I am, I’d love to know how you manage with impulsive spending habits — especially during the holidays.

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease #Parenting #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Impulsivity #impulsive #spending #Holidays #DistractMe #52SmallThings


BPD Coping and Minor Inconviniences #bpdcoping #Impulsivity

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder and “Minor Inconviniences”

Does anyone do something drastic when a minor inconvinience happens?

I started a new job and LOVED it! leaving somewhere where I was invisible for 6years to being welcomed with open arms, support and an opportunity to smash it (which I did) then after 5 weeks I got moved (without a choice) to a different place within the company which triggered a breakdown. As you can imagine i felt rejected, abandoned and massively emotional because there was nothing I could do to change the decision and basically had to start all over again! Plus I’d settled and grew in confidence really quickly which for us is such an amazing feeling!

I got my whole hand tattooed as a result. (I got my whole bum tattooed when I left my old job as a way of coping with the fear) As you all know a minor inconvinience is like your world has ended! I cancelled my wedding, relapsed with my anorexia! Lost a stone in about 2 weeks! And self harmed for the first time in about 10years! I was sobbing and the anxiety caused me physical pain!

My low mood is slightly shifting but I still need to do something impulsive to regain some control! Sooo nipples are being pierced after work today and a new tattoo. The tattoo will symbolise my resilience!!
“I was not built to break”