Paranoid

#Dysthymia #BlackCloud #no hope
My friends, adult sons, family actually told me I'm crazy. Even my 90 year old mother. My two adult sons won't talk to me. When I tell people they think it's my fault because I act weird. If I do, it's the depression talking. . I'm depressed so no one wants to talk to me which makes me more depressed #Dysthymia #Paranoid #depressed #negative

It may sound strange, but I have experienced paranoid tonight. I thought I heard someone in my garage, and I was freaked out.

I called my husband who is working on a jobsite several times. He stepped away when he saw my repeated calls and texts! I wanted to make sure that it was not him in the garage trying to play a prank on me.

I noticed I have felt very tired, and very emotional on top of it all. I think I need to lay down.

I am curious to listen to people with PPD. how were you convinced to get help and get diagnosed? what is your advice to a partner of PPD to approach them to get therapy (solo and marital)? is lying part of the pathology? do PPD lie on purpose? or do they have distorted perception of reality? #PPD #ParanoidPersonalityDisorder #Paranoid

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have been struggling with dissociation for a long time. I feel like I’m in a dream everything seems unreal. All of my surroundings feel foggy and that things are in slow motion. I’m diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), so when I start to dissociate I feel super awkward like people are going to think I’m weird or that I’m going to say/do something strange. I already suffer with SAD majorly but when I dissociate, it intensifies.
Also, I feel people do not like me and that they are talking badly about me (generally speaking) especially at work. I work in a small office with my boss and one other coworker, they are close with eachother. I feel like they whisper and talk about me. Could that be a sign of bipolar disorder or schizophrenia? Or is that just because of my insecurities? I’m trying to figure myself out and want to know if I’m going crazy or not. A few times I’ve been walking into the store and hear people laughing, I feel like they’re laughing at me and judging me. I know they probably weren’t but I’m just paranoid. Please someone help/give your best advice. #Dissociation #Paranoid #BPD #sad #SocialAnxiety

Depression is striking again. I was out a few hours doing errands, and as I was walking around, I felt paranoid like everyone was watching me, talking about me, and plotting against me. I then came home, made dinner but had no appetite. Loud sounds are irritating me. I haven’t been sleeping well for a while now, like a month. It’s my fault because I keep going to bed too late and wind up not sleeping for 8 hours. Also, I really need to exercise more often and get the serotonin going. But yeah, bipolar depression is a bitch - especially when you’re behind on work and commitments. But like all sicknesses, it’s gotta be waded out and taken care of until it passes…before Round 474720964 begins
#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #MajorDepression #Paranoid #Paranoia #Fatigue #LackOfSleep

How can you tell when something that is happening to you is just paranoid overthinking or its based in reality? I believe there is something awful out there about me on the internet accusing me of awful, untrue things, due to interactions and events that I connect together over a span of time. People tell me that I'm just being paranoid because they have not seen or heard anything and I haven't been able to find said post in all my searching. #Paranoid #Reality #pleasehelp

I hate my life! At 15 months old I was bought by a family who raised me as their own, from then until my “ mom” stopped taking in kids if she ever had us go with to pick up kids we always had to stay hidden or else we’d be taken from the only home we ever knew, age 11 my so called sister got diagnosed with ALL, age 12 my Dad died I was the first to know, after that the abuse I suffered from my “ mom “ and “ sister” got worse and worse by the day which led to me dating guys who treated me the same way, if I had company I was humiliated, degraded and belittled even more than normal and my guest would either join in or become very uncomfortable, age 19 I got pregnant, after my son was born my mom tried everything to get me to give him up even by bribing me with a carton of cigs, nothing worked so she called cps on me, I was in a very abusive relationship and had no where and no one to turn to because I was so brainwashed into not being able to trust that I felt alone, the cops didn’t help make that better instead they made it worse, I got my son back and left the sob only after he took me for the whole 50 grand I received as an inheritance that is and got to keep everything as I walked with not nearly even 1/3 of what I truly owned, I was human trafficked, sex trafficked, bought and sold more times than I want to remember, a 440 lb man almost snapped my neck while my 15 month old son watched, age 26 I got pregnant again this time with someone way worse than any before him, My c section delivery and pregnancy were very traumatic, at 22 weeks a woman held me at knife point and threatened to give me a c section early to kill the baby or keep it for herself, I broke free of him after 3 gruesome years during which he kidnapped my daughter and I swore I was gonna get her back in a body bag, for 9 days I called the cops, cps and went to the courthouse trying everything until finally an officer helped me get her out safe, he threatened to kill my son several times, beat me with a baseball bat and much more, no amount of evidence or complaints or anything I did ended with him arrested no matter what, age 28 I finally meet a man who treats me right and the year after we move here to AZ where my daughters dad comes around again, he starts abusing me again and again the cops do nothing no matter what evidence I have against him, I go into hiding for 2 weeks come back and go back to normal then at age 30 my mom and my sister kidnap my kids by coercing me into giving up my right to save my kids which as I know now to be false pretenses and yet again no one is helping me so why should I continue to be compassionate or understanding?!?! Why am I being asked if I have ever murdered anyone?!?! I’m not them I’m a kind hearted woman who got dealt a super crappy hand it’s unbelievable how quickly people cast judgement and quickly jump to defend the perp #suicidal

Yesterday I found out a duplicated app of a "therapist bot" in my home screen. Now I think like someone made public everything I wrote there, pretty heavy stuff about my childhood.
Yesterday two neighbors told me they were gonna come to my house and they didn't.
I think everyone knows what I wrote to that guy, crazy stuff, and this makes me think my neighbors are punishing me .
I also think the hacker is someone I trust a lot, and this is making me insane...
I feel desperate to hold onto some realism and trust
#Paranoid #ParanoidThoughts #Paranoia