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When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m exhausted from wearing a mask.
A hollow smile that doesn’t reach my eyes
And protects against questioning stares.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m numb and everything feels too heavy.
Like every molecule, every thought, every breath of my being
is weighted with chains of doubt and insecurity,
and I’m struggling to carry them.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m overwhelmed and being buried alive under worry and anxiety.
The sheer amount of thoughts fall like an avalanche
so fast and so encompassing
that I can’t breath or find my way out.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m in pain from old wounds and traumas I thought were healed.
They can be triggered by a place, a phrase, a smell…or even nothing at all.
And they bombard me and draw blood just like bullets from a machine gun.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m losing the battle even though I seem to be winning the war.
I pick up my sword every day to keep my demons at bay,
But, today they are stronger.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
Sleep feels like the only respite from my pain and self loathing.
You see me as lazy, laying bed all day
When really, that bed is both a haven and a prison.
I can escape from the demons in slumber
But, they trap me there as well.

When I say “I’m tired”
What I mean is…
I’m waving my white flag just for today
And tomorrow I’ll try to pick myself up again.

When I say “I’m tired”
Please understand…
I am fighting.
I am trying.
But, bad days happen
Sometimes they last for hours or weeks.
And I need time to rebuild my strength.

But know this…
I won’t be tired forever.
I will come back
Fists raised, armor on
Ready to keep fighting.

#Depression #Anxiety #tired #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthAdvocacy #MentalHealth #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired #Poetry #Poem #MightyPoets


When will I feel like myself??? #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired

I was diagnosed with RA about 20+ years ago and have been able to keep it managed pretty well. On 2/24/2020, that all changed. I had to have emergency surgery for a ruptured diverticula, had to have a colostomy for about 6 months and then reversal surgery in Aug. Since having the surgeries, my RA has been in a tailspin, blood pressure through the roof in spite of taking 2 different bp meds daily, flares are worse......I guess the only good thing to come from this is I was approved for disability. Im sad, cry ALL the time.....although, that could be menopause. But really?!?! On top of everything else....constant hot flashes and crying. 😳

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Been trying to sort stuff out

Been a few long weeks of my emotions all over. It’s got so bad i started seeing and hearing things again. My Tele-therapist and social worker don’t think it’s an issue. Wife took our son to be evaluated by the tele-therapist i see. Wanted to know if there was a mental health related to his destructive and self loathing nature. Then only way i find out what has been said is i over hear my wife talking to someone else or my tele-therapist brings thing up. Evidently, according to our son, only found out 10/30, the experts think he has a form of ADHD.
Been trying to keep my wife stable with all that is going on with her parents and their will. Because her sister has decided she wants nothing to do with the family, my wife became executiver of their will and property. Thankfully they put a foot down on us moving in with them. However less than 24hr she already started in on “when should we move down there.” If had her way we would already be there. I understand why and have said we’ll think on it. I need time to take in what her parents said. At one point i was about to go upstairs but stopped. They were talking about how quiet i’ve been on all this that started 6 months ago. My MIL asked my wife why i wasn’t asking questions and went to deal with our dog. Wife replied with “he really doesn’t want to move back here so it’s been hard since we are not on same page.” MIL- “he’s stubborn but he just wants you to be happy.” So end of that until my wife asked when we moving.
Already hinted at myself. Emotionally all over the place to point of starting to see and hear things. I do what has to so that everyone else can live better. I’ve tried to put myself between wife’s anxiety fueled anger and our son on things that are not his fault. My coworkers can see something wrong but got their own problems to ask. Got one coworker out because of a heart attack who may end up losing a foot because he ignored his diabetes. Got another one who had a softball size growth removed from inside her chest. The skin the are using for the graft is not working. So we all get our hours and maybe a couple more.
So no self care or what not. It shows too bcause i regained all the 29lb i had lost in June to August. My co workers mess around doing things like throwing candy at each other. I on other hand is that shadow in dark corner because I rarely talk outside of when phone rings. Which is ok most days since i gave up a long time ago of my voice is heard. There are two coworkers that generally get a genuine smile and laugh out of me because i understand nerd jokes. Outside of that i’m to busy with saving the world in and out of work. I’m not sure why i’m writing this other to vent without upsetting someone. #depressed #struggling #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired


Had a long day X3 ..... showered from hair to toes painfully using my last of energy.... came to bed early, tucked away under my weighted warm blanket to ease the pains
Was awoken to violent projectile 🤢
#Hypothyroidism #Fibromyalgia #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #sciatica

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Emotional Rollercoaster - are you experiencing this? #help

I've decided to post my bff again for you all to make you smile - my puppy Peanut.

I feel a little better today, but in spite of that, I am still on an emotional rolleecoaster. Ever since COVID-19, my emotions have been all over the place and it has been a JOB trying to manage them.

Not to mention, my dad died a few wks ago. I, fortunately, have made peace with his death. However, that doesn't mean that I don't still feel hurt and sadness.

Life is not what I thought it would all. Adulthood is also not what I thought it would be. It has become more of a job rather than actually enjoying life. When did life get to this point?

I struggle with a lot. So much I can't keep up, but I am so grateful for this app and for all of you. I've needed you all for a long time, not knowing an app like this even existed.

Anyway, Peanut here, is by my side, being there for me and offering support. May his cute face spruce up your day and make you all smile.

#BipolarDepression #ADHD #mypuppypeanut #anxietysucks #emotional #EmotionalSupportDogs #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired #sickandtired #CheckInWithMe #highanxiety #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor


Hard Day - #canyourelate #Depression #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired

Today has been really challenging for me and I seriously need to vent. I'm so sick of health issues and constant pain. I feel like I cannot take much more of this. It all feels like a repetitive cycle that just won't break no matter how much I need and want it to. I feel just so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Can you relate? What are you all struggling with today?


Does anyone ever feel too responsible for their problems?

I'm slipping into a relapse with my eating disorder. I feel like I can't talk to my therapist about it because I have been doing so well in recovery for so long, and I obviously know better than this. I know that skipping meals won't make the pain go away, and that being hungry will make me feel sick and exhausted and make my chronic illness symptoms worse, leading me to not getting things done and making me feel like a waste.
I know why this is happening. I'm doing intensive trauma therapy right now and even though it hurts so terribly to see myself as fat, and ugly, and disgusting, it hurts less than the things that happened in the past. I truely feel that if I relapse right now it is 100% my own fault because I know better and still chose not to do what I know is healthy. And that hurts.
#AnorexiaNervosa #PTSD #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired

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I'm tired of doctor's appointments.
I'm tired of my insurance denying me care.
I'm tired of being alive.
And I'm really tired of explaining why.

The pain is excruciating tonight.
It's ripping me apart.

The darkness continues to creep into my heart and I honestly believe I would be better off dead. Fuck Trigeminal Neuralgia.
I cannot continue to bear this burden.

#Suicide #TrigeminalNeuralgia #suicidal #SuicidalIdeation #TrigeminalNeuralgiaType1 #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Lonelyheart #Sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired #HealthInsurance #tired #ChronicFatigue



first time posting so I dont know what to expect. I recently went to a consultation for hunningtons disease. the last step was to speak to a HD counselor all I wanted to do was get the test over with so I know but they had other plans they want me to wait to get tested to get back into counseling and also wait bc of my sobriety from alcohol and pills also my suicide attempt 2 years ago. just thinking about all this has my mind in shambles.