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The invisible battle

A war wages in my own mind
This war has no beginning
Nor does it ever end
People say they understand
But they will never understand casualties every day
This battle never ending and always finding new weak pints
How do you fight a war you cannot see
This were has grown stronger and scarier
How do you fight a voice you don’t know where is coming from
How do you fight a creature you see but you cannot move
How can you win an invisible battle
When life and dreams blur
When will this invisible war end

Not my best work kinda rushed it but it’s hard to put to words. Any criticism is appreciated.
#Poetry #Depression #War #Demons #MensHealth #speakup

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Speak up, be your advocate #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth

It’s been 8 days since I had total knee replacement surgery. Things have not gone exactly to plan so I will be here for another 9 days minimum. While disappointed I won’t get to home like I imagined.

This afternoon a trainee physiotherapist took my session and immediately criticised me for my lack of commitment. She kept telling me to pull my leg backwards. I explained to her that I was doing that but the leg was going as far as the knee would allow. She told me to try harder. By this stage I was angry. I stopped and said to her, “I am giving 110% to do what you want but that is the extent of my current ability. I reminded her my regular physiotherapists there were constantly telling me not to strain to the extent of significant pain. Too late. In trying to appease the trainee I had gone too far.

I told one of my treating doctors what happened and that I would never allow myself to be treated by this trainee again. I spoke up and so glad I did. I didn’t ask her to be sacked or disciplined, that’s not my call. But I know I will never be subject to her ineptitude again.

What do you need to find your voice about? What sentence are you hesitant to say but will feel good once you have spoken it?

#PTSD #speakup #Surgery #Christianity

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#toloveornottoloveoneself

"Love" is such an impactfull word, filled with great emotion, and filled with nothing.
So can I, should I "love" myself, when it can mean so many different things to different people? In many cases, far more negative than positive.

I prefer the term, "getting to know myself. My "self". That individual deep inside of me. The one with all the unique thoughts, ideas and interpretations. The one whose voice you'll rarely hear. The one whose still making her way fully to the surface.

Can I "love" that "self"?

After more than 20 years, I can say that I like her. The "her" that is me. I admire, respect and cherish me. And that is definitely good enough. But do I love my "self". Do I have to love my "self"?

I believe I do. Because by truly loving my "self", I encompass all of the things I appreciate about me. I am still getting to know that part of me and I don't like everything about me, but I do love me, which has made such a huge difference in my life.

With my "self" love, I have discovered respect, admiration, growth, acceptance, responsibility, appreciation, fun, trust, freedom and so much more and I cannot wait to see what more there is to discover.

But it takes time. And if knowing yourself is all you feel you are capable of doing, then go for it! It's not what we call it that is important, it's what we learn from ourselves and how we use our new abilities that truly matter.

#Bekindtoyourself #findingmyself #embracetheunknown #innercompassion #Love #Selflove #knowingmyself #Respect #Appreciation #speakup #mentalhealthjourney
#wellness #ucandounlimitedchange

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#itsyourtime #speakup #beyourownvoice #beheard #youarethechange #traumasurviviors #beloud

We are too often told not to speak. At first we can't, and when we're ready, no-one is willing to listen.
But that is changing and unless we speak out about the consequences of abuse and trauma, things will never change.

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What would you do if fear was not a factor and you could not fail?

If fear was not a factor and I could not fail, I would speak up about my Rape. Be strong and no longer fear my rapist. I would lock him up so he could no longer do the horrible things he did to me to anyone else. #speakup #Rape #IHaveAVoiceToo #trama #Deafness

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practicing daily affirmations

“If you are battling against #NegativeThoughts every day, you are not alone. Just like our body needs clean fuel to function properly, our mind needs #positive energy to win that battle.”

I am forever on a journey of learning how to love all of me.

I try to focus on what I can control and make peace with what I can’t.

I am blessed beyond measures.

Whatever I accomplish today is enough and so am I.

Though times can be difficult, they are only ever a short passing phase.

Breathe in love, exhale hate.

I am forever conquering my struggles; defeating my darkness one moment at a time.

I am a #survivor

#Selfcare #affirmations #MentalHealth #Raiseawareness #struggle #notalone #iamenough #Spoonie #speakup

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Stood my ground #Depression #Anxiety #Gaslighting

So for the first time in a long time, I stood up for myself. My MIL was insisting I enroll my 4 year old at the school near her, 45 minutes from our home. She even went so far as to join the PTA. Realistically it would be fraud since we live in a different state, not to mention that we only have one vehicle and my husband has to be at work by 5.
I voiced my opinion multiple times that it wouldn't be feasible. Multiple times I was shut down. I finally spoke up and said what I wanted to and she's currently giving me the silent treatment. It's worth it to preserve what peace I have at the moment.

#silenttreatment #speakup #imnotadoormat

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How the Media Failed Down Syndrome

We are adding our voice to a matter that is being discussed with great emotion in the Down syndrome community. We have been very fortunate in being able to share our daughter’s prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis story on some amazing platforms. But recently it felt like some of our hard work was undone when the Today Show, with a much larger platform, broadcast a story about Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and her “pregnancy scare” that occurred when they thought her baby might have Down syndrome.

Natalie Morales narrated the Today Show segment saying: “Then came the news they had been praying for. The tests were negative for Down syndrome”. Shawn and her husband posted, very beautifully and heartfelt, that they would have loved their baby (Down syndrome and all) but that they just wanted it to be “healthy”. ⁣ ⁣

But this is the problem. The Today Show had an opportunity to correct misperceptions. To tell the world that a baby with Down syndrome can be as healthy as a baby without it, but that no baby is ever truly safe from health risks. To encourage people to remember that while a Down syndrome diagnosis is scary and emotional, that a baby with Down syndrome is still a wonderful, beautiful, human baby. Instead they used language such as “risk, scary, healthy, relief” and “uplifting update AFTER pregnancy complications”.

Any parent working through a diagnosis would see the message being reinforced that a diagnosis of Down syndrome is scary and undesirable. These messages are exactly what made our experience finding out our daughter Gwendolyn’s diagnosis last year when I was 11 weeks pregnant so completely and unnecessarily devastating. ⁣ ⁣

Can you imagine the Today Show celebrating a baby for being “healthy” in relation to sexual orientation, skin color, gender, or ethnicity? When are we going to have social change and finally just wake up?

There has been much emphasis on the “me too” movement, which is awesome, and we celebrate different races, colors, and sexual orientations. But people with disabilities are left bringing up the caboose. They are the last thought about, the most vulnerable, and in need of our voices the most.

We just wish the Today Show had done more, with this experience of Shawn Johnson’s prenatal testing, to help remove the culture of fear surrounding Down syndrome. We need to help parents work through a prenatal diagnosis in a healthier way. We, and so many others in our community, wish the Today Show had used this opportunity to spread a positive message about Down syndrome. Despite this, we know there is so much love being spread about Down syndrome from other sources, and we are glad to be part of that movement!

#DownSyndrome #DownSyndromeDiagnosis #PrenatalDownSyndromeDiagnosis #TodayShow #Media #speakup #ThisIsDownSyndrome

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