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Just want my old body back #ChronicPain #fibrowarrior #DiabetesType2 #DegenerativeDiscDisease #aces #traumasurviviors #TBISurvivor

I just want the abilities I had ten years ago back. It gives me so much anxiety for the future watching my health and body decline so quickly. I can only do about a few hours of good work, with lots of breaks in between and then I pay for it for a day or two. I'm 42 years old, recently unemployed, and I'm not sure where I am going to fit in the working world with all of the health issues I'm battling. I don't think disability would support the very basic lifestyle I, I need someone who relates to this.


Masks and #traumasurviviors #Anxiety

Hi! Not trying to get someone angry, but these mask mandates around certain areas for trauma survivors like me with anxiety are getting depressing. I’m sorry to anyone who got sick or died, but do people really sanitize those cloths properly... I tend to absorb a lot of people’s hostility towards one another, and i know ppl can stay home etc, but that’s very lonely and depressing and makes life hopeless sometimes. I’m all for people choosing to do as they wish, however being violent towards people with asthma or autism etc is really sad, and those people lack empathy!! The virus is going to spread regardless if we want it to or not... I wish people would be nicer and more understanding. If you’re afraid, do you really think a cloth is going to protect someone. People at airports stand apart while waiting, yet pack planes. It’s really ridiculous. If I offended anyone, I’m sorry, but I feel I wanted to share my truth. Love and light.


Abuse, Grief, Feeling

Doesn’t grieving abuse parents seem counterintuitive? What most people don’t realize (and what I didn’t know myself) was that you don’t just grieve your abusive parents. You grieve what you didn’t have, what you deserved to have. You grieve what you thought you had (though trauma bonds are toxic). You grieve the loss of safety, innocence, love. You grieve the losses that are yet to come (such as a parent going to jail). So as you can see, you grieve the few goods times you did have with them. Abusers don’t abuse all the time, they have days where they say the right things, do the right things. But it’s important to remember that they are still an abuser on all the other days. Yet, it is this conflicting information that causes the most pain and confusion. And it the processing of this pain and confusion that helps us to heal as painful as it might be. The only way out is through. #PTSD #traumasurviviors #ChildAbuse #SexualAbuse #abusiveparents #healingmyinnerchild

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Tell me about a hobby you tried out but ended up abandoning #CheckInWithMe

I am probably the master (or at least one of them) of abandoning hobbies within a few days or weeks of trying them out. I seriously think I like the *idea* of picking out new hobbies than actually sticking to a new one — at least when it’s just me doing them. If I have friends to keep me accountable, then that’s a different story...

I could name so many crafts I have tried and abandoned *this year* alone. (In my defense, 2020 has felt as though it’s gone on for about 400 years.) Anyway, I’d love to know what hobbies you have tried out but ended up letting collect dust on your shelves.

P.S. There’s absolutely no shame trying something and stopping for whatever reason: whether it’s because you didn’t like it, your health limits the way you can interact with it or you simply just don’t feel like doing it anymore.

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #Parenting #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trauma #PTSD #traumasurviviors #Undiagnosed #Migraine #ChronicPain #Autism #diy #creativity #Selfcare #Hobby #hobbies #52SmallThings #DistractMe #crafts

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Please don’t leave me

Abandonment issues is something I deal with on a daily basis, I’m really afraid of being alone and I’m constantly in a defensive state where I’m specting the worst and I’m afraid I’m not gonna be able to survive by myself. My las relationship was toxic and emotionally abusive, I preferred to be mistreated than to be by myself, somehow it seems a lot less terrifying the constant fights and the emotional roller coaster than the emptiness I feel when I found myself with no one else than my thoughts. We were on and off for almost 4 years, I was constantly asking him if he loved me , if he was gonna stay; spolier alert he didn’t loved and he didn’t stay. I blamed myself for everything even when he left me 4 times and I always was there waiting for him, even when he lied to me, even when he say he would change and he didn’t , even when he stop trying and I said that it didn’t matter aslong as he wouldn’t leave me. I devalued myself for him, and for a lot of people because I didn’t want to be alone, my mentality used to be “I’ll do anything but please don’t leave me” until I broke down really hard, I got infected with Covid- 19 and my already broken psyche couldn’t handle it anymore and I went on the worst crisis I ever had (still recovering from it). Somehow I got courage from this dark place and I ended my relationship who btw was already planing to leave, meaningless friendship and my unsatisfactory work , I couldn’t do it anymore everything was hurting me and I was holding so tightly that I was the one who was hurting me the most. Currently I’m trying to heal, luckily enough I found a really good therapist an psychiatrist also my meds are working just fine! I have no answer and I still struggle but I have hope, and if you are reading this belive there’s hope for you too ✨.

#Confession #Crisis #MentalHealthHero #mentalhealthwarriors #traumasurviviors #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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#itsyourtime #speakup #beyourownvoice #beheard #youarethechange #traumasurviviors #beloud

We are too often told not to speak. At first we can't, and when we're ready, no-one is willing to listen.
But that is changing and unless we speak out about the consequences of abuse and trauma, things will never change.

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Are You A Black Sheep #traumasurviviors

The black sheep is typically a bad person. The troublemaker. Now I think it’s a person with a voice and mind of their own. The family member who’s truths make other uncomfortable. Being molested as a child and now speaking my truth will make a lot of people uncomfortable. That is their problem. #ChildhoodSexualAbuse


An affair with an eating disorder

She told me she would be my friend,
That she’d make me whole.
She whispered sweet lullaby lies to me at night to send me to sleep,
And in the day she’d ward off anyone who could hurt me; I thought she was protecting me.
Slowly, she drove away the people I loved, she told me they didn’t love us, they wanted to do harm to us.
Slowly, she wormed her way into my every waking minute, now screaming in my ears.
She kept snatching back my hands whenever I strayed, she helped me deceive, lie, manipulate. We were winning together at one point, so close to the end goal; little did I know how close that end goal was to death.
We were walking on a tightrope over a deadly ravine, we were living off of the thrill. Then they separated us, they tried to turn us against each other; they threatened her, told me she wasn’t my friend; but she was all I had left in the world.
She never left my side through it all, but she’s been watching from the sidelines. She’s been holding my hand through the hard times. She doesn’t like change.
Now she wants our relationship to be a secret, she hides from the people I love because they tried to hurt her, hurt ‘us’ she says. But now she’s hurting me. She holds my head above the toilet, she pushes my hands down my throat, she’s choking me. She shelters me from those I love; she pushes in between the cracks, filling them with hatred, guilt and shame. She lets me think I’m in control before she grabs the reins and sends us charging off into the distance, alone. I want to be free of her, send her away to a safe place where there is no pain, for she has been through enough. I cling to her as an identity, for she is me and I am her; she has helped me survive. But I don’t need her to survive anymore, I now know what safety is, what belonging can look like. I love her, and that’s why I have to let her go. #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #TraumaRecovery #traumasurviviors #WhereHopeGrows #Selfcompassion #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PersonalityDisorders #MentalHealth

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#c -PTSD #Trauma #traumasurviviors

I was just wondering what y'all thought about this & if you would think it would be helpful for us? In my opinion it works in theory, but to consciously make yourself think that every time you have an intrusive thought, I don't know if that's totally feasible! I will give it a shot & see if it helps any, but honestly we don't know every time we're going to get a thought like this so how can we keep up with having to remember every time to think of it as our abuser talking & the voice in my head usually sounds like me talking to me, so how am I just supposed to switch it with a voice that I never want to hear again!?! ✌️💖☯️💪🤔💡💭🙋‍♀️