If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or pressured into doing something for *their* comfort and happiness... Get away from them as fast as you can.
I learned this lesson the hard way - I was groomed and molested throughout my childhood for well over a decade by a close family member - I learned how abusers (and their enablers) use our emotions and empathy against us to get their way. So if my nightmare experience throughout childhood can help save at least one person from being abused by a so called family member or friend... Good.
Also, never be afraid to speak out and tell the truth, especially when they try to silence you. The shame doesn't belong to you, the shame belongs to the abuser, and to those complicit enablers who help protect the abuser by keeping you quiet.
Those people I should've felt safe with guilt tripped and manipulated me with religious "forgive and forget" tactics. They used my faith and loyalty against me to insure my abusers future. Now, I know better than to have trusted them, because there is no way I would do that to a victim of abuse. Especially if they were my child. Why should I be considerate and keep their flimsy reputations intact when my abuser didn't exactly have any consideration enough to stop traumatizing me all of those years ago when I said, "No!" Only the abuser and their enablers benefit from your silence - so be loud.
Trauma should never be ignored, it has to be addressed and worked through or the scars will never heal. I still have PTSD from my traumatic childhood experiences, and because I didn't have the support of family that I should've had then, it's been a difficult journey towards healing. But I am no longer afraid to speak out. I didn't ask to be abused, but I did ask for help from my family... They chose to protect the abuser. And so, after years of feeling numb, worthless and broken, I eventually chose to protect myself by setting boundaries and cutting ties with those who were complicit. That was my choice, and I don't have any regrets.
If you've been abused and assaulted, you have every right to hold the perpetrators accountable for their transgressions against you - or not. Abusers choose to be abusive, so never question bringing their shame to light. And don't ever feel obligated to stay in touch with an abuser, or their complicit enablers simply because they are family members, or so called friends. Your health, happiness and safety is more important than being nice to them. And you are worth protecting with personal boundaries. Prioritize your safety over being 'nice'. Always.
#metoo #abusesurvivor #gaslight #manipulation #EmotionalAbuse #post Childhood Abuse #PTSD #CPTSD #adolescent sexual molestation trauma #religious Trauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor