domesticviolencesurvivor

Most days I admit I have tunnel vision. I am so preoccupied with just trying to make it through the day, I often miss all of the beautiful things around me. The person who coined the phrase, “stop and smell the roses, ” must of knew how important it was to take a minute and see the beauty and blessings all around us. Lately, I have made a point to stop and look at the sky. I’m amazed at all the things I see! Lately, I see dogs of all shapes and sizes running and playing. The sky has become one huge dog park! My imagination soars... Are these beloved pets who have crossed Rainbow Bridge?! My heart is happy and hopeful. Just for a minute my pain and problems subside. Just for a moment, I am not focused on myself or this crazy world we live in.

What if tomorrow we took a moment to walk outside and look up! The sky and the clouds above are waiting to put on a show for anyone who will just stop and admire them. What kind of world would it be if everyone took a minute to applaud the sunrise each morning and give the sunset a standing ovation every night!

Ive reacently come out of a domestic voliance situation where is wasnt good. I couldnt do alot of things Either cause i had no money or I wasnt aloud to. Now i work in early education and care and i want to say my hair like the pic a hidden rainbow. Always wanted to. But my workplace has a policy in place that you are not allowed to dye your hair unnatural colours and if you havnt seeked permission you will receive a written warning. A massive trigger of mine is asking for permission. It makes me feel like I'm back to a controling relationship again. Makes me feel like im not worth anything and I've lost power over my own body and im not in control. Ive wanted this for a while but cant bring myself to ask work. And I cant risk losing my job because i need the money to pay of the debt that ive been left with because of my ex..... I'm really torn. I didnt realise that your workplace had the power to control what you did to your own body......... #Feelinglost #tornintwo #PTSD #Anxiety #domesticviolencesurvivor

Many nights I layed there staring at the ceiling
Hoping something would stop you.
Willing the words to come from the back of my throat
It seemed easy to say no before.
But that day in our room changed everything
I layed there as you kept going when you knew it wasn't OK.
The look of horror, disgust and fear on my face
Never said to you no?
You kept going further and further ripping off my clothes.
I felt as though I'd throw up any second
When you started pounding at my soul,
Whilst I quietly whispered "no"
I always pretend you didn't hear it
Like it never got said
Each pound taking a small amount of self esteem
I actually had left
I looked at the clock often wishing time would race.
Begging time to hurry so it would all be over
After you finished you were always mad at me
Saying I owed you a proper root
It was always about you.....
#MightyPoets