This post is full of self-pity so feel free to scroll on by. Today I’m missing my youngest Godson and his wife’s gender reveal party due to migraine. I also missed their wedding, graduation (college and high school), prom, and seeing him play college football and most of high school.
For some stupid reason, I really thought I’d make it today. I was feeling a bit better yesterday. Had tons of people praying, but no. I haven’t been able to get out of bed all day. They live about 45 minutes away, and the venue of the party is almost 1.5 hours from me. If they were in town I might try to push through and get there, even if I had to throw up in the bathroom. But I can’t get on the interstate like this, much less be at a party.
So I’ll miss another Milestone of his, and in general.
I freakin hate migraine! #ChronicMigraines #ChronicDailyMigraine #Chronicintractablemigraine #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Stolenlife #MillionsMissing #Missingmilestones #Depression #Anxiety
My body is a broken phone. It’s not an old phone, but for some reason the battery never charges past 10%. I mostly live plugged into my bed, trying to finally reach 10% again. If I’m lucky I can make a phone call or send a text before my battery dies. Yes I’m thankful that I work and that I’m not as bad as some other phones (that can’t work at all) but somehow that doesn’t make my life feel any less painful. Phones that aren’t broken just don’t understand. When their battery dies and they just plug themselves into the outlet and then they wake up charged. They say things like, “You’ve been charging all year, why isn’t your battery full yet?” Or “I wish I could do nothing but be plugged in all day” Believe me, I want to be fully charged desperately. I want to unplug myself from this bed and live my life. I want to be able to leave my house and not have to worry about my battery suddenly dying on me. I just want my life back. #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Journaling #MillionsMissing
I hope you are all having good health days today.
I’m off to the millions missing event in Cambridge today.
Is anyone else going?
Trying to calm my emotions down because I know I’m gonna get tired before I even arrive!
Going to wear my badge asking for people to give to a seat for me and see what happens. (Really don’t want yo use Wally unless I really need to)
2) Having my own #home , where I #feelsafe ; it's warm, calm and #comfortable , I can receive my daily #HomeCare with confidence, and live in the catchment area for an awesome #carecompany . All the standard services are reliable, there's decent internet here and my abusers have nooo idea where I am!
3) That I'm still able to be #creative from time to time; even with #multiplechronicillnesses that leave me mostly #housebound #Disabled , it gives me something to look forward to, knowing that as long as I continue to listen to my body, I can do what I enjoy most when I'm able to.
#52SmallThings #3thingsimgratefulfor #myalgicencephalopathy #ME #pwme #HEDS #restlesslimbsyndrome #Migraines #Fibromyalgia #FibroFog #BrainFog #Tinnitus #ehlersdanlossyndromev3 #POTS #eds3 #CPTSD #PTSD #MillionsMissing #Potsie #Zebra #Spoonie #theunchargables #InvisibleIllness #invisibledisabilities #thedruidessofmidian #thespooniedruidess #disabledmodel #creativemodel #altmodel #spooniemodel #DomesticAbuseSurvivor #rapesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivor #escapedtoxicfamily