I mean 'no' when I say 'yes'.
I have this compulsion to give myself away, and conversely not get what I truly want.
I don't feel whole, yet desire for love, often seeking it in the worse places; online, dating apps and dates with exes.
Joy is lacking in my life, especially when the careers of others are shining on my patch. How is it possible they do this when I try to match?
When will I ever shine, am I destined not to be?
I have to try and re-build oneself & start by thinking about 'me'.
Years of giving pieces of myself to those who are not worthy have left me incomplete.
How will I ever propser when
I run around all day, pleasing and serving others, is no longer the calling of the day.
When I get myself together I'll show you how to 'play'.
Years of neglect and depression have left me unsure of who I am.
Slowly oh so slowly, I have built myself together to
become the man I am meant to be.
Yet with all the troubles I have experienced this has come a real mystery.
Snippets of character are emerging, embracing laughter and gaiety. Standing in front of others is normal, talking aloud for other's to judge and see.
I don't care what others think, they couldn't survive
what this journey has done to me.
I have strength and fortitufe in leaps and bounds I am no
longer a charity.
When 'Jon Snow' emerges I shall rule with clear clarity.
I have killed all the white walkers internally so I can finally
embrace my destiny. #MentalHealth #Depression #despair #livinglife #freedom