Makingfriends

I’ve had difficulty making friends since I was a kid. I’ve always felt lonely, ignored, or ghosted by people, I try to plan play dates, or invite couples over to have dinner with my family but get declined so often I’ve given up on trying. I’m tired of being nice and trying to do things for others only to be left with aquantances who don’t care to be friends. I’ve brought meals to moms who had babies, tried to plan gatherings. Ever since I was diagnosed with bipolar2 I feel like I’ve realized that is probably one of the reasons why people avoid me. I’ve had it since I was 19 and I’m 32. I’m stable and don’t have a severe form it’s more depression than anything. I do know though that most people I meet never go beyond aquantance and the few I considered friends no longer interact. Things changed when I had kids. I tried participating in a Bible study but it only was aquantances ever. I never felt like any mom really wanted to get to know me better. Like I was nice to see at this Bible study but no I’d rather not do a play date or coffee at your house or EVER invite your family over. My husband and I have hosted families a few times trying to grow relationships and never have gotten an invite. I feel like I’m an outsider and yet have lived in my community for over a decade. I’ve been a monk 4 years now and have 3 kids and just feel like it’s just us. Even my daughter wants to make friends and we are starting to feel excluded even when I offer to make breakfast and host, or cook up a nice bbq. I know I’m an introvert but I am trying. Covid had made it worse but now I’m wondering if I’m cursed when it comes to making friends. I’ve felt lonely since I was 12 living in another state. We moved down south when I was 17 which didn’t help. I felt like no one wanted to be friends with me because I didn’t go to their private school. Now I’m an adult, went to college, and am a stay at home parent and realize everyone who was a friends really was just using me in college. I think in had one good friend and now she lives far away and we just aren’t as close anymore. Aside from her everyone I ever tried to befriend would eat when I hosted but never recuperate. Reilly to my texts many days later, ask private questions but never really open up on their end. A few moms in tried to befriend have done this. They’re nosy about me then never share about themselves and act secretive. At that point I’m like oh ok you don’t want to be friends. And just stop texting or asking to get together. Should I just stop trying? I’m really just getting to a point I’ll face aquantances in life but friends no... #Bipolar2 #Momlife #Makingfriends #SocialAnxiety #Depression #Loneliness

Friends for Life. This is Brian and I. He knows of my #Borderline and still loves me. It took me a while to “come out” with it, but this guy was SO COOL about it. It’s really gratifying to find friends that are okay with #MentalHealth . Don’t underestimate the ability and kindness of others! #Makingfriends #ITSOKAYTOTALK