There is a photo I took the other day from the car. I looked up and snapped the photo as we drove. I felt like it was as my husband called it "Is that the Gate to Heaven?"
I thought about #Grief and #Loss and how I #MISS my #Dad . It has not been an easy year. But 2023 looks a little more promising. It does not feel complete without my Father being around anymore. But, I know that I have many more things I need to do that I have to focus on.
I am #Trying to keep a #Job now that I have found one. I just started it and already my hours have been slashed. {Sigh} I don't know what to do. The hours are cut because the business is slow, and there is a desperate need for more students to come to the learning center for tutoring otherwise.. we may not have jobs much longer.
Hello Everyone.
Welcome to another episode of #WhatOnEarthIsHappening ! 🤣
My emotions nose dived today like as if I was flying in an air plane circus show. #emotional time periods are not the best times, but they can be #Valuable when we have #Anxiety . I started to #think about all of these things that I have experienced so far since my father had died in March 2022.
When my #Dad passed away... I lost my favorite pain in the @$$. I was his favorite too. I #Love and #MISS my Dad so much. #Death is not an easy thing to #handle . But while I was #dealing with the #Lose of my Dad, I had them lost my job right after coming down with a terrible #illness .
It was a nightmare for me how I #lost my #Job and my #daddy all in such a short time span. I haven't found another job since because I have not mentally been #prepared for #MentalHealth is something that needed to be worked on as I am still #grieving over my father and my job.
So... Here I am... #RidingTheWaves that come in and out in my mind. Sometimes I just need to #RollWithIt and do what I need to do in the best way I can,.. even if it isn't my usual best. #Trying is better than #denying and #Procrastinating .
I must start small.
If I want a #Job ... I should try a small part time job somewhere. Maybe a retail job.. but.. even #Retail can be #stressful these days. It's getting #worse now that #AnxietyDisorder is getting stronger or more intense with me. But I will do my #best to #KeepWalking onward.
Do you have any words of encouragement for me?
#BipolarDisorder
#AnxietyDisorder
#PanicDisorder
#Parentloss
#Jobloss
#PTSD
#PMDD
#strength
#It is a s- - ty night .She is my best friend/daughter #. I miss her so much.Yea well you can call or text her. #Guess what , that’s not the same thing .
I am angry,because I am getting older,cause my daughter is gone. I am over the top proud of her, she is an amazing young person.And my son is great and he will be gone and on his own.We have been blessed with two excellent kids I say kids but they are grown. I am in tears writing this. #AS hard as I worked my body, I am disappointed in where I am now. #in the summer she likes to go to the beach. # before when the where younger I would say he’ll yeah let’s go. But now, my f- -king body Dicktates what I can and can’t do and I hate . I could put my fist through a wall. I want to destroy something .But I hurt to bad.And when she comes home from college, she wants to do stuff,maybe go shopping or go to the park,the flea market people sale all kind of stuff.If I am having a bad day she and her dad will take her.This last time I was not able to do much.They say stress causes fiber flare They can last from a short time to a long time #.I am so so angery I have to find something. #I am so tired of this crap.I just want to be better for my kids. I love them so much.I will cry my self to sleep. #Love #
#I think I have wrote the gambit on this thought #but since no one has heard from him ,the last date for me was 01/11/2021 #I might need to check that date. I do know I have written many different emotions pertaining to this amazing man #.He has many friends and family that love him dearly.And we the ones not knowing what is going on with him ,are worried #.He was having some issues before his page went dark. #he just dropped off, we don’t know what or where ? #I did have a neckname for him come to find out it was 2 one was Skylord and the other is Starlord which is the one I perfer #.The reason being is that when he is happy ,and smiling, and ,devious he touches everyone in his area . #and he has a Beautiful voice, he loves to sing. #he would say, you don’t know me,and I would say alas dear sir I know more than you think.But I will not share but to him. #where ever you are and what ever is going on ,.There has not been one day that you have not been in my thoughts and prayers.And yes this has no doubt been a one sided relationship. #MISS you so very much.O and I did want to ask your zodiac sign is a Leo! #?