but no one want to hear it anymore, they’re all tired of my same old problems again. i feel so lonely, so unnecessary, so insufficient…
#Suicide #suicidelossurvivors #suicideloss #Depression #mother #PassiveSuicidalIdeation #SuicidalIdeation #personalitydisorder #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Depression #BipolarDisorder
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6 comments
It is as easy as ABC...
Why don't you see?
Everybody sees, why don't you?
I guess, I am one of those crazy few...
It is as easy as ABC...
Why is your brain always so absentee?
Everybody knows, why don't you?
I guess, all those abused substances turned it into barbeque...
It is as easy as ABC...
Why is it then so hard for you?
Everybody gets it, why don't you?
I guess, that is why they always bid adieu...
It is as easy as ABC...
Why is it then so hard for you?
Everybody thinks it is as easy as ABC...
I guess, perhaps that is it! They think and I just be.
#Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #personality #personalitydisorder #abcsoflife #Life #Imposter #ImposterSyndrome
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5 comments
Hello how is everyone? Good I hope I just wanted to share I've starting a new program today in hopes of getting my health back I suffer from a lot of things and Im starting to think it's cause I'm over weight I'm the biggest I've ever been and I researched fasting and it seem to be a good choice has alot of amazing benefits today is my first day I know it's gonna get hard but I've made a choice so I know I can do it if y'all could send me good vibes is appreciate it thank you hope everyone is doing well 🖤🙃✌🏻 Mindyl
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6 comments
I decided to restart uni. It's not simple, with my mental illnesses, to start from the beginning for the second time. It was a hard decision. But I'm ready.
[Background] Extensive history of trauma beginning in early childhood, with subsequent traumas during military service. Diagnosed with PTSD many years back, with BPD flying under the radar until just a few months ago. I have been struggling with tormenting "light switch" (now I know to be splitting) episodes for over ten years in my personal relationships.
[Current state] I have two dominant areas where I split. The one I'm more concerned about is my current relationship. My splitting comes in the form of feeling stable, content, happy, and optimistic about my relationship, then a trigger happens, and I rapidly flip to the extreme for days, or even longer. My extreme consists of feeling completely disconnected from what I knew to be true (loving, caring, contentedness, etc.). The episodes are altogether new, familiar, scary, and destabilizing, and come without the ability to see that it will (eventually) end. Without the ability to feel grounded, I feel like I'm lost in space without a tether to what I knew to be true--all I can do is wait and try not to panic that all has evaporated.
Anyone else experience this? If so, how do you cope?#Borderline #BPD #personalitydisorder
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I've been feeling reasonably at peace for a few weeks now.
Whenever I feel this way, it makes me wonder if I actually am disordered or if I had just been going through bad spells before.
I feel like there isn't much to update on. I can't say I'm super happy, but I'm contented and at peace.
I'm having issues with getting too attached to people, even when I think I'm not.
I suppose I do tend to "favourite" certain people. It's not fun.
They usually tend to be very emotionally unavailable.
If someone tells me that they're busy all the time, it makes me think I'm a nuisance and should just leave them alone.
I have minor examples of "splitting" them as well.
I don't usually lash out, but I say very passive-aggressive things that I later regret. It's always rooted in me feeling like I'm an annoyance.
I just came out of a very strong anxious attachment to someone earlier in the year.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The lows are so agonizing that the highs aren't worth the pain.
#DependentPersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #Anxiousattachment #FearOfAbandonment #personalitydisorder #Favouriteperson
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18 comments
I believe addiction to extend beyond the clinical terms of
'dopamine', 'reward', 'cycle', 'pattern', 'habit' & the like.
I stand by the proposition of it being a chronic disease, as
you would view any other illness, of which warrants the
dignity, respect, consideration, acknowledgement, and
treatment as per any other health condition.
Terms of 'weak' & 'choice' perpetuate the notion & stigma that
addicts are 'less than', and do not warrant the common
courtesy of being a part of the human condition and of
being human.
Addiction deserves to be viewed in a holistic, multi - faceted approach; with it's factors,
components, triggers, and mental health as part of a
bigger picture of an individual’s entire life experience.
The key concept in viewing and treating addiction should incorporate a person's underlying / core issues.
What perpetuates the behaviour?
What relief & purpose does it bring?
From what pain and anguish is the person medicating against?
I firmly state that addiction is not a singular clinical terminology, nor a deficit of character, personality, or willpower.
I believe it to be a remedy for whatever is missing (real or perceived) within a person.
The common themes?
Love. Connection. Relief. Humanity.
To be human.
In the duality of being an integral part of the human experience, to be a valued and included member of society as a whole and within a person’s societal community of choice.
To experience all aspects of being human: the emotions, the roles, and the diversity and complexity.
Being human can be messy, painful, and unpredictable for us all.
Throw into the mix trauma, mental illness, stress, and difficulty in emotional regulation, and then maladaptive coping mechanisms and patterns form.
We are all doing our best being human.
Trying to deal with life and whatever that entails for us.
We all seek relief, comfort, and peace: in a multitude of ways.
For some, what once started as remedy and medicine, has become addiction, in whatever form that may take.
(Behavioural - Gambling, Substances & Alcohol)
To be human is complex.
Addiction is complex.
Addiction is to be viewed holistically, broadly in scope, and with the basic kindness and compassion of that which is the human condition.
#Addiction #MentalHealth #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #personalitydisorder #PTSD #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD #Trauma #Abuse #narcissistic #narcissist #Recovery #Addict #AddictionRecovery #Healing #heal #Depression #Anxiety #OCD
Real inner healing doesn't come with a pill it comes from being prepared to give up what is making you sick.
That's not just certain foods or habits but the emotional patterns of behaviour that you sabotage yourself with.
#MentalHealth #personalitydisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD
I can’t leave me house.. because of my depression and anxiety. I’m tired of being alone. my friends never want to hang out with me.. I just wanna be happy. I want to go out and get a gf. But I just can’t pull my shit together. I play guitar and sing because it used ti make me feel better. But all I write is sad songs and no one wants to hear that all the time.. Nothing is really keeping me happy anymore. I’m jealous of people who can just talk all the time and that are genuinely happy.. I’m fucked up and don’t know what to do anymore.. I can’t hold a conversation to save my life.. I think I’m a cool dude I don’t think I’m ugly… idk wtf is wrong with me. It seems no one wants to give me a chance
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