stressed

I’ve started the annual cleanup from Christmas and it’s hitting me hard this year. I’m trying to clean up the house and really do a deep dive and organize but you know how that is. You make a big mess cleaning up a mess.

The clutter and piles of stuff is beginning to wear on my mental health. I keep telling myself that once I’m done it’s going to look good. The mess will only last a bit longer and I can make it.

Breathe in, breathe out, let it go. Right?

Logically I know it will only last a short time and will be good in the long run. I’m overreacting, and I know I am. It’ll be fine.

Deep breathing. Imagining a nice, organized home that I’ll be coming home to soon.

I can do this.

#Anxiety #deepbreathing #stressed #Iwillbefine

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I’m otherkin. I do not identify as a human spiritually. Yes, this is real. Being otherkin is not a pessimistic or degrading identity. It is real, and it is often involuntary. I can’t control how I feel, and I’m okay with that because there’s nothing wrong with it. No, it is not “cringe”, screw cringe culture.

I hate being called human. I hate emotions exclusively being called “human”. I hate being associated with “human”. I hate the idea that emotions exclusively make us “human” because I don’t identify as a human being, and not everyone in a “human”-like body identifies as a human being. It’s act very stressful and invalidating whenever I run into these common ideas and phrases.

It’s why I can’t really read most things mental health-wise. I wish, but I get very dysphoric being called a human 10 times in one article. I understand it may be mostly scientific, but still. I do understand that most of the population is human-identifying, but so are those who are straight, who are cisgender, who are in the gender binary (male or female), and who are monogamous, and groups outside of them often get ignored in articles, too, and I’m outside of those groups as well! It’s so tiring… After (still) grieving over what I wrote in the last post, I don’t need to be called a human constantly.

I apologize if any of this sounds rude. I do not mean so in the slightest. I just wish that us otherkin individuals would be more recognized in society, and the dysphoria sucks…

#rant #otherkin #Vent #MentalHealth #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #stressed #ThisHasBeenNotAGoodDay

#lonely #stressed /#frustrated #dispaxia #Anxiety #MentalHealth

Hi I need help. I can't sleep it's 5 AM and I work today. I'm feeling #depressed #anxious and #stressed

Every morning I wake up and lately I have wanted to just scream and cry, but I can't. Do you ever feel like you are living the same day over and over again? It's like you wake up and think, "Seriously, didn't I just do this all yesterday?"

I imagine most non depressed/anxious individuals think or feel nothing when their alarm rings, and they proceed to start their day. My mother is one of them. She is awake and making breakfast at the same time early in the morning. She thrives on God, church, taking care of others and accomplishing her daily goals. She is happy inside of her bubble no matter what life throws at her.

I on the other hand feel doomed the minute I open my eyes. It's been a difficult 5 years. Before that, it was 10 years and before that I was hard at work in grad school.

Yes, that would make me about 38 years old. I also still live with my parents despite graduating top of my class in undergrad and doing everything in my power to live a relatively 'normal life'. You know, the American dream. The life with the house, car and 2.0.0.5 fur-babies. (Ok, they are fur babies in my book because I know I cannot handle children on top of my other various health conditions. I don't think any child or person should have to endure the hereditary suffering I have, but more on that later.) There is more to the story but let's just say there isn't a tsunami of crazy life that I have not encountered.

I wake up every morning already feeling the stress of the day not even knowing I am conscious. Lately, most days I wish I could sleep more, take a drive by myself or just watch Christmas movies bundled in a comfortable blanket. Some days I give myself permission to do this. Yoga and music are often another great escape during these stressful times.

However mostly, I have felt hopeless that life will continue to be me waking up to yesterday's issues. The rat race of life becomes faster and faster and I become slower and older.

In the words of "Jeezy" in one of his infamous songs "Soul Survivor" I find some comfort that I am not the only one living like this. I quote, "This ain't a rap song, n****, this is my life, And if the hood was a battlefield, then I'd earn stripes (Yeah)".

It's just another day. It's just another day, everyday, every morning.

#mentalhealth #Depression #Anxiety #hopelessness #struggle #tired #stressed #MentalIllness #Survivor #jeezy #soulsurvivor #americanlife #Normality

¿ " I Got To Work In A Good Calm Mood... And Once I Clocked Into Work At 8A.M. ▪︎ My Mood Was Trashed... Within A Minute.. My General Manager Is On Vacation And I Got Stuck With A New Assistant Manager That Doesn't Know How To Run Our Store... They Were So Behind On Order's And Didn't Have Anything Ready... I Alway's Have To Litterly Pick Up Everyone's Slack.. And It's Become To The Point Where I'm Going To Have Another #mental Breakdown... I Want To Leave This Pointless Job.. But My Main Boss Is Overly Dependent On Me... For Everything... And It's Starting To Litterly Break Me I'am A Human Being Not Thier Working Machine To Solve Everything For This Stupid Restaurant Who Can't Get Themselve's In Order And Organized...It Was Super Rough And A Nightmare. And The District Manager Is Supposed To Stop By With Other People For A Visit.. Back To Work Tomarrow... " ? #stressed #Depression #Anxiety ☆ S.K. ☆

Hi Everyone I am trying to bea better Christian for myself and for God. I left because I was going through a lot in hindsight I should have stay but I didn't. #stressed #scared

I'd like to start by explaining there was the time in our relationship when my daughter did not live with me. She was alienated from me by her father and his then girlfriend and lived with them approximately four years. This was extremely difficult for me and I ended up inpatient at that time.

My daughter and the girlfriend got into a very big fight when she was 18 and she moved back home. She had friends over drinking and smoking weed all the time. We clashed over it many times. Last year in January we got into another argument and she punched me in the nose. I kicked her out. I believe she has explosive disorder and possibly bipolar.

So then I was living alone and I do not do well alone. She was needing a place to stay and of course I'm her mom and have a big heart and I am a doormat so I welcomed her back in. We discussed how things would go and we talk about things after we have disagreements. We're very conscious of each other's feelings. And we really are making Headway. But now I have to move. She wasn't supposed to be living with me because I have housing assistance for one person. Most young people live at home still.

Now with us both scrambling to find a place she has decided to go to school and live on campus. With her dog. Wants to certify him as a support animal.
Normally this would be a good idea but she works overnights and is exhausted and moody and sleeps during the day. Then she picks up my grandson from daycare.
I truly don't feel she is in the mindset or has the motivation or energy to give School the attention in order to succeed. Also she is trying to get housing because she doesn't want to pay for an apartment and end up like me. In poverty.

I can see this becoming a failure but I guess I just have to let her figure it out? Idk....
#Daughter #confuses #stressed #dontknowwhattodo