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Negative thinking in Addiction is ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT FALL INTO. I have asked myself and colleagues who are in Recovery, ( ALL STAGES) have did any of you wake one day and SAY , TODAY IS THE DAY I BECOME AN ADDICT? Was it the role that your family inadvertently had a part in the decision to make sure that YOU WERE THE SCAPEGOAT FOR THE MISERY IN THE FAMILY? But really it was US who were the STRONGEST PEOPLE IN THE FAMILY, mentally.

I haven't had many episodes lately. I haven't had a drink for 25 years and stopped using cannabis 2 years ago. I have occasional problems with smoking ciga and eating too much sugar or crap food. However I find exercise and helping others one of the greatest ways to solve my Bipolar symptoms. #altruism #Working for others #experience is Gold #we not I

Do “normal”or those who don't have a mental illness people, hate themselves sometimes? Do they say things like”I'm so stupid nobody should love me!!, I hate myself I wish I was dead etc...? If they don't and they know what we say to ourselves, they must think we are freaks. Maybe we are? Nah!!! We are the special ones. They lack drama.

Ok. So the other day i cancelled an exercise session had been looking forward to. But i really regret it now. At the time i was worried it would be a bad idea as the day before i had overslept on my medication and felt groggy. Thinking i couldve pushed myself harder. Perhaps anxiety kicked in and i was scared something bad would happen as in the past it has. Like i locked myself out or lost things when i push myself too much. Soooooo on the positive im REALLY looking forward to when i can go again. Can anyone relate???? Love this mighty. #we can do this

#I did something , I didn’t want to do ,I had to let go of someone I never had! Social media can be very painful , I can only speak for my self # He is on tic tic , he is very handsome,but what drew me to him was his sarcastic since of humor. #I have been in a state of depression for a long time ,then I was looking at tictoc and he was doing his video,he made me laugh. #DID not think I could laugh,but he made me laugh and feel something. #we talked at the beginning and nothing serious.But he made me feel things I thought where gone. #he is very special,like my husband .My husband was like that he’s humor was not Sarcastic.He’s humor was something else very special, but people change and he lost that humor, he is serious now. Once in a blue moon the person I feel in love with shows up and it’s pure gold . I guess that’s why I was drawn to Starlord every video was something and I didn’t know it but I found out he could sing, #and he’s good . I have listened to every song he has sung ,at least I think so.Well I said something that pissed him off, I thought he was making fun of something I texted him .So he stopped texting me ,You think I would have left him alone then #but No. #It went on for a bit me ,finding waxes to see his videos. #and sending messages and songs that I thought he might like. I am ashamed of my self , I have never ever done anything like that. # He was and is like a Magnet 🧲 to me.If he finds this and reads this . I am sorry so so sorry my dear Jackie.And I will leave you be. I hope nothing but the best for you. #🦩✌️☮️😎💕

#I have stayed to myself basically I don’t do much especially since the Depression # .And my fibromyalgia ,The pain is harsh. I feel so bad. #well got on tictoc and there he was I never , since my marriage wanted to talk to any other man #They all could not comepar to him.! # Then like I said I saw him and it was craze he stirred something in me that I never felt since my husband #.And I try to talk to him, I think it was ok.at first,Now you have to understand that I have been with my husband . #Sinces 1990 that’s when we got married I thought he hung the moon #we have grown,apart ,we think differently if I don’t agree with him, well I try to stay in my room . When I got on tictoc I was hoping just to talk to,someone#I was hoping this person would maybe find me special ,and we could talk about anything but no I don’t think he has said maybe 6or 7 words to me. #I think his special and I feel like a dumb ass for even thinking that he might like me . #So my Depression is really bad.I was so stupid.And now I feel, am ,less than nothing I feel LOST😢☮️🦩✌️

#Thought It would be a good time to share #I cooked Christmas dinner with some help from my kids,who I Love very much. # And after dinner pick up. It wasn’t bad , My Mom drilled it into are heads clean as you go then you won’t have such a mess end the end #So no mess at the end .Sat on the couch and I started to get really I mean really sleepy so I came upstairs got in the bed , #that was around 1:00-1:30 and ended up having a fiber flar in so much pain. I felt ok this morning and now I am in so much pain #I am so Angry and the pain is so bad ,So RebeccaI fell you ,people have no idea what your feeling what kind of pain and sadness . That’s why I love this app because we all are together in this #we have each other’s back.We know your pain.And we can share with no backlash from other people #My name is Stella, and I have, Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Disc , Disease, Migraines,and a few more things. #we all are here because people don’t understand what where going through except someone going through the same thing. #but it still sucks, you don’t look sick ,go work out you well feel better #that is my husband , if I could do it I would. I got this fiber flar because I cooked Christmas Dinner #