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Finding Direction in Life When Nothing Feels Certain

What gives you direction in life?

If I’m being honest, I don’t fully know what gives me direction in life.

I’ve spent a long time thinking I was supposed to have a clear answer to that—some defined purpose, a plan, a path that made sense. Something I could point to and say, this is where I’m going. But my life has never really felt that way.

I used to think that direction meant purpose. But the more I think about it, the more I question that idea.

Do we actually need to label what makes someone meaningful?

Is there really one purpose meant for each of us?

I don’t know why the word purpose feels so heavy to me. Maybe it’s the pressure of it. The idea that you’re supposed to find one thing that defines your life. That if you don’t have it, you’re somehow behind or missing something.

I understand the comfort in believing we all have something to hold onto—some greater reason, some guiding force.

But what does that actually mean?

There were times when my only direction was just getting through the day. Managing my thoughts. Navigating emotions that felt too heavy. Trying to understand myself in a world that didn’t always make sense. And for a while, functionality was the only thing guiding me forward.

I never considered that survival was a direction, but it is. For me, it’s choosing, again and again, to keep going, even when you don’t know where “going” leads.

Even now, I don’t feel like I’m being pulled by one clear purpose. It’s more like little moments that nudge me instead of pushing me.

Writing, for example, is something I always go back to, even when I doubt myself. There’s something about putting words to feelings that feels therapeutic, like I’m finding pieces of myself that I didn’t even know existed.

The same goes for other quiet parts of my life—cooking something comforting, creating something meaningful, reflecting on things most people overlook. I know that it doesn’t sound like direction in the traditional sense, but it feels like something to me.

It’s like a thread that I keep following, even if I don’t know where it leads. That’s what direction looks like for me right now. There’s no straight path. No clear destination. Just a series of small changes. A growing awareness of what feels heavy and what feels lighter. Learning to move forward toward the things that feel more like me and away from the things that don’t.

Personally, I always searched for direction in something obvious and undeniable. But I don’t think that direction works like that. I think it’s something that you don’t find all at once. It’s something that you build slowly—through the choices you make, the things you go back to, and the feelings you start to trust. And maybe not knowing is part of it too.

Because when you don’t have a clear path, you start paying attention in a different way. You notice what lingers, what repeats, and what stays with you longer than it should. You begin to understand yourself in fragments instead of answers.

And over time, those fragments start to form something that feels like direction. I don’t think I’m lost. I think I’m just learning how to listen.

If there’s anything that quietly carries me forward, it’s hope. Not as an answer, but as something I return to when everything else feels uncertain.

I’m learning that I don’t need everything figured out right now. I just need to keep paying attention to what feels real to me, even in small ways, as I go.

I don’t want to put pressure behind my “purpose” in life, or pressure to work toward one ultimate goal—to be like everyone else. Personally, I trust that the direction I’m going in is right for me.

“Not all those who wander are lost.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

#MentalHealth #Thoughts #Reflections #Writing #Neurodiversity #

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Am I machine?

"Here's to being human
All the pain and suffering
There's beauty in the bleeding
At least you feel something"
-Three Days Grace

While I know I'm human, there are times I feel more like a machine; heartless.

Sometimes, when people yell and scream at me, I don't cry, I don't flinch, I don't care. I let them tell me how pathetic I am, how useless I am, while I stare at them blankly.

My "best friend" has been living with me for a while now, physically I'm fine, but everything mentally? Its in ruins.

She says "talk to me," so I do. Then she uses it against me or tells other people, people I don't know, people I don't trust. When she's upset, I'm try to be there, but she pushes me away, turning to everyone else except me.

I wonder if I can even feel things properly. My physical pain tolerance is high, according to my family, and so is my mental tolerance.

I have been used, played with, judged, and put down so many times, my feelings always being put third or fourth, almost never second.

I love my boyfriend, who puts me first, but I'm scared I'm more machine then human.

How do I open up when my box has no doors or windows?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Music #numb #Writing

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Coming to Terms

I remember when I first found out I was living with mental illnesses. I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around the idea that my world as I knew it was gone, shattered. It’s a grief that not many talk about. You are just expected to acknowledge this life altering news and move straight into healing. But, I think a big part of the healing process is coming to terms with the grief of losing who you thought you’d be.

#Poetry #MightyPoets #Writing #writer #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

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Being betrayed by the person you trusted most in the world (and you had really believed was a person who could be trusted) is incredibly painful

I know many people have experienced this. Some of us experience it more than once. Betrayal, unfortunately, is common. But its frequency, its commonality, never makes it easier for the individuals going through it.

However, I feel betrayed and deceived. I’m not sure which one feels worse. The one that is just the other person’s doing, or the one that involves myself not “picking up on the signs.” I’m very angry at the other person. But I’m disappointed in myself. And we know what’s often said about disappointment, it’s worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m intensely disappointed in the other person. But the disappointment in myself hits differently, even if it’s technically not as intense.

I will be…I mean, I am being gentle with myself. I know the advice. I know it’s not my fault. I can forgive myself for what I didn’t know; for not having the tools or ability yet to prevent what happened. I was naive, which isn’t a “sin.” It’s just a state most of spend some time in early on in our lives. (Unfortunately, sometimes it comes with great consequences. So maybe I should just be mad at the “universe,” or “fate,” or something.)

I will be okay. I will heal eventually. I will end up with more peace of mind than I’ve experienced probably since birth, and have always desperately wanted. I greatly look forward to that. And, at this point in my life and development, I will know how to keep it.

——————————
(Suddenly, I am finding more of MY words again)

#artastherapy #Writing #expression #Relationships #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #CPTSD #Grief #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #Healing

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Coping Mechanisms: Writing a Manifesto 📄📖📝🖌️📚 #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Writing

As you may or may not know, I use writing as a coping mechanism for my difficult times with my Bipolar Disorder. It’s not exclusively a coping mechanism though, I also write when I’m not struggling as I thoroughly enjoy it. The choosing of a topic or subject, the research on said topic or subject, the structuring of the narrative that you have created, then the tweaking of your narrative to make it more fluid, clear and/or comprehensible.

Here is a link to the Manifesto that I have started to write. There’s 3 parts so far and all of them are a work in progress, so if you have any ideas, comments, suggestions or anything please, please, please let me know in the comments section below. I’m receptive to negative comments too so if you have a negative opinion about my work then please do share it, I’m not going to be offended, I will actually be happy with it as it’s a great way to learn and improve 👍

The Sanderson Manifesto 📄

#MightyTogether #ADHD #DistractMe #Selfcare #MoodDisorders

The Sanderson Manifesto 📄

A collection of nonsensical hypotheses that reconfigure the underlying mechanics of human existence 🤯👌🤣 Part I: Parabolically on Prozac – Arc of a Medicated Life The Sanderson Manifesto Part …
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Coping Mechanisms: Paradoxically Speaking #BipolarDisorder #DistractMe #copingmechanisms

My go to coping mechanism is to write. I write about my Bipolar experiences, the medication, random things, funny stories about my misdemeanours, songs, poems, and random thoughts that have no meaning whatsoever in life except that they have granted me some solace and happiness that has distracted me away from the chatter in my head.

I started writing about 4 years ago or thereabouts. I wrote a solitary word for the couple of hours I spent trying to get some more words down. I was determined to not let it beat me and the next time I was experiencing the difficulties of the Bipolar, I got the pad and pen out again. After about three or four attempts to get more words down, I managed to get a second word down. No connection to the first word, in the sense that they wouldn’t be next to each other in a sentence, but they were both equally good words. They were “Pathetic” and “Stop”. After the second word, the third and fourth came easier and then like a domino effect, the words were flowing. This prompted me to start putting the words into sentences, quotations and phrases. It was so therapeutic and took me away from my thoughts of nonsense and nothingness.

I wanted to put my stuff I’d been writing somewhere where it was all together and logged into a folder of sorts so I could read the random stuff I had written in years to come. I was not keen on using social media for the reason that it seemed like I would have to publicise the stuff to people I was friends with and I didn’t want to share it with anyone really. I googled my predicament and it proposed a blog site were I could create a profile and save my writings in specific folders. It was a great suggestion and it is very, very good for me and what I wanted. Also, when you post your blog you don’t put it in the face of your fellow bloggers, like on Facebook where you share something and then all your friends see it. If someone wants to read your blog and follow you, they can do so and it is their choice. They decide their level of involvement in the content and volume of your material they want to see.

I might be sounding like a bit of a hypocrite here but I have attached a link to a blog post that I have written about a random topic of ‘Paradoxes’. I definitely am a hypocrite thinking about it as I have self publicised myself and my blog.

But the purpose of this post is to offer you an insight into the option of using writing as a coping mechanism. It isn’t a requirement to write a bestselling novel or penning a literary piece of writing excellence. You just start where you are, then use what you have, and do what you can 👌

Paradoxically Speaking 

#MentalHealth #MightyTogether #Writing #DistractMe

Paradoxically Speaking 

Sometimes the very things that make life meaningful are also the things that make it fragile and uncertain. To love deeply means risking loss. To pursue freedom requires accepting responsibility. T…
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Favourite Film Remake #BipolarDisorder #copingmechanisms #Writing

Another coping mechanism I found was good for me, and really enjoyable was re-writing a narrative.

Fight Club is my favourite film so as I enjoy writing and reading, I re-wrote the narrative of the film using quotes from it.

Here’s a link to the blog I wrote. Hope you enjoy it, It was a great coping mechanism for me to write this and focus on something else other than my own chatter in my head.

Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.

Give it a go, and feel free to let me know what you think 🤔

#MentalHealth #MightyTogether

Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club.

The first rule of fight club is….. If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? For years now, I’ve wanted to fall asleep. The sort of …
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The Day I Stopped Surviving and Started Writing

For years, I was stuck inside a body that flinched at the world.

I carried trauma like a second skin — invisible to most, suffocating to me.

I had served in one of Israel’s elite combat units, and I came home with wounds no X-ray could show.

The symptoms were relentless.

Panic attacks that came without warning.

A heart that raced even in silence.

A mind that replayed things I couldn’t talk about — and a body that refused to rest.

I’d lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours, wired and exhausted at the same time.

No peace. No quiet. Just static.

At first, I tried to outrun it.

Then I tried to numb it.

And then I broke.

But one day — I picked up a pen.

Not because I thought it would heal me.

Because nothing else worked.

Because I had nothing left to lose.

And something happened.

The page didn’t judge.

It didn’t flinch.

It listened.

The writing didn’t “cure” me.

But it gave the pain a voice.

It let me shape the chaos.

It taught me that stories can hold what bodies cannot.

That was the beginning.

Of healing.

Of reclaiming.

Of finally understanding that I didn’t need to be who I was before the trauma — I just needed to become someone honest about what I carried.

Today, my novel Dog — the book born from that pain — is being published in the United States.

It still stuns me.

I didn’t write it to impress anyone.

I wrote it because silence was killing me.

If you’re out there, stuck between symptoms and shame — I see you.

And I promise: the page is waiting.

📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@yishayishiron

📷 Instagram: www.instagram.com/yishayishiron

📘 Facebook: www.facebook.com/yishay.ron.1

🐦 Twitter (X): x.com/IshiRon1

#Veteran , #MentalHealth #Writing

yishay ishi ron

Welcome to the official YouTube channel of Yishay Ishi Ron — Israeli author, combat veteran, and survivor of PTSD. Here, I share short, raw, and honest video reflections on trauma, healing, writing, and the strange beauty of being human. Through personal stories, literary insights, and creative fragments from my novels, I invite you to join a conversation about pain, resilience, and the power of storytelling. New Reels weekly. Real life. No filters. Just words that try to tell the truth.
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New news; update

Hello friends, I’ve been working on many things lately unfortunately this app I don’t always remember, but I’ve been focusing on other apps besides the Meta platforms because I don’t like some of the chaos going on over there. I penned a blog this morning that is coming up in the next few days over on my website. Also, I did a podcast about a past relationship that is coming up on the 27th on my YouTube channel. I was involved in a Substack controversy which I didn’t go to Substack to be controversial. There’s been a lot going on in my life the past few days, but I’ve been getting through it and life is good today. I’m knitting and enjoying my coffee even though it is very fluently running through me. I’m also looking forward to St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow even though I do not drink anymore my current projects are in a green color way, which is beautiful since the weather is becoming warmer and I am making more and more projects with cotton yarn #knitting #Writing #lifeingeneral

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