bipolar stigma

Many people have had their opinions on my mental illnesses. Match making their assumptions to certain things I’ve done in the past, my behaviours and actions, my persona, my decision making and the obsession to listen to the whispers from those claiming that they have the exclusive story on my life, to the easy answer. From this basis they feel that they have the right to become judge, jury and executioner. The complexity and depth of knowledge an individual requires to be such, arguably still hasn’t been reached. There’s no explanation for the cause of Bipolar Disorder. There’s 3 theories that are the most common in cases which are used as a benchmark but these aren’t set in stone. There’s no cure. It’s currently classified as a lifelong affliction by the medical profession. The medication that is prescribed isn’t a cure either, only a remedy. The medication I have, Depakote (Sodium Valproate) is an anticonvulsant that slows down the neurones in the brain. It is potent, as it needs to be, and makes me docile. Things are harder. Concentration, memory, cognitive function, muscle spasms and weight gain. It also increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes. The medication used for Bipolar and Schizophrenia patients are reported to shorten the life expectancy of the individual by 9-20years and 10-20 years respectively. More than smoking 40 cigarettes a day. So If you’re going to the effort of being interested and intrigued with a person and their circumstance, maybe save yourself sometime and get the full picture by actually asking the person.

I’m the first to admit that I abused drink and drugs (cocaine) to cope. People put my consumption down to the cause of my mental illness. Bipolar Disorder is not caused by drug abuse. Substance abuse unfortunately goes hand in hand with Bipolar Disorder. The fact cocaine was used as an antidepressant not to long ago shows it has some positive effects. People say that I will have the come down and it’s dangerous. They never step back to realise the medication that I take daily is working on the same principle. That I have to feed my addiction so to speak. I’m a legal drug addict. If I didn’t have my daily dose, not only would it be the bipolar but also the withdrawal from antidepressants and antipsychotics or anticonvulsants.

The stark reality is that it’s far from romantic or desirable to be living with a mental illness. Everything that I was doing was a response to the pain and suffering I was going through. My responses may not have been the most productive or proactive nor positive but I have since learnt from them. My purpose on this Earth is not to make you understand my journey, I’m here to be part of the journey.

Does anyone think less of me because I have Bipolar Disorder? The common perception is that it is linked to‘crazy people’ or ‘maniacs’. Well to anyone who does, I’ll leave you with the words of Alan Watts 👌

“No one is more dangerously insane than one who is sane all the time” #Bipolar

Today is a groundbreaking day in the world of Bipolar Disorder treatment. My mate has cracked the code and solved the problem with his own genius.

“You need to go for a run mate”

Well, here’s me with barely enough patience, energy, motivation and interest to put my socks on, but if I just go for a run it’ll all be fine and I don’t have to suffer anymore.

Now, I’m well aware that exercise is important for your mental health as it releases endorphins and stimulates serotonin in your brain. However, myself and many others are battling with mental illness, not mental health. Mental health and mental illness are two different things entirely. This needs to be understood firsthand how to differentiate between the two.

mental health – noun

“A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.” “all this pressure seems to be affecting his mental health”

mental illness – noun

“A mental illness is a syndrome characterised by clinically significant disturbance in an individual’s cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental illnesses unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above.”

The complexities of mental illnesses are so diverse and difficult to comprehend by people, even by those who are living with it day to day. It’s a life long illness that I will have with me for the rest of my life. I’ve accepted that, I’m learning now how to best coexist with it.

I just wish some would keep their verbal diarrhoea well away from me. It’s offensive.

But then again, if I go for a run, everything will be fine hey? 🤷🏻‍♂️ 🏃🏽 👌

#mentalillnessdifferenttomentalhealth
#exercisedoesntfixeverything