bipolar stigma

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Help for sleeplessness

I'm new here!
Hi, my name is Sarahvish_25. I'm here because my wife is a treated With bipolar last 7 years, she recently had a relapse after one medication was dropped by gp. She is now taking updated medications ..lithium and quetapine . She's not sleeping during night times and keeps watching mobile phone . This gets her sleep deprived and gets stereotypical imaginations. I have tried to convince her not to use mobile phones while sleeping., but it didn't work out.i have asked Samaritan groups and also requested for CBT., but no response yet . How do I handle this situation. The more she keeps herself awake during nights .., the more the issues. She's not in listening state as she thinks am trying to spoil her happiness. Has anyone gone through this situation.?. Please advise .. #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarObsessiveness #Mania #BipolarStigma #Bipolar1Disorder

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Paranoid and very annoyed

My trauma is all consuming and confusing I can’t think without overdoing and analyzing every word till Im losing the point of the root of the message and I forget the next steps in the routine trip on my feet stumble stutter and hope you don’t interrupt while I think
Im not done yet I’m not done yet
My point is that
I still haven’t made my point
I can’t think with all the static in my ears
And all the stuff in the viewfinder cant fucking focus or zoom in stuck on automatic with no swing in my step or skip in my spring
Bouncing bouncing
What do I even hold to be true to me?
I still haven’t made a point
Pointless, all of it,
So it would seem
Intelligent but still not like it seems
Intel
Intel
Intell me I’m in hell and it feels like you can tell and see
The sweat forming bead dripping down on my brow
All these thoughts just shot the fuck out
12 gauge, buckshot
Calibre to kill some time
Just don’t
Interrupt me
When I’m
Fucking
Looking
For the point
Looking for the point
Sputtering
Stuttering
Mostly mostly
Suffering
Fucking
Looking
For the point
I’m still talking
Traffics really unpredictable
I still haven’t found out if I consider it all livable
#BipolarDisorder #Mania #Ramble #MightyPoets #BipolarStigma #FlightOfIdeas

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Finally #BipolarStigma

I was diagnosed bipolar in 2001 and have never written that sentence before. The stigma of being bipolar has always been a huge wall in front of me. Recently I told my managers and one co-worker that I was bipolar. I missed a week of work because of a depressive episode and my psychiatrist gave me a doctors note. The note had his letterhead so they knew I had some kind of mental health issue. I told them I was bipolar and now I am obsessing over thoughts like: “what if they are judging me?” And “what if I don’t get the promotion because they know I am bipolar?” These thoughts are immersive and even seep into my dreams - making me feel unworthy. Not Mighty. One moment I feel free because I told them, the next my paranoia takes over and I think they are all plotting behind my back. I am stable, medicated, a “good girl who takes her meds” according to my psychiatrist but I feel inferior because they know. I am crazy. I am not getting that promotion. I shouldn’t have told them. But wait, maybe they are woke? Maybe they see me for who I am? Maybe I’m stable and wonderful - the queen of her bipolar domain. #BipolarObsessiveness #Stigma #Bipolar #Bipolar2Disorder

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Finally #BipolarStigma

I was diagnosed bipolar in 2001 and have never written that sentence before. The stigma of being bipolar has always been a huge wall in front of me. Recently I told my managers and one co-worker that I was bipolar. I missed a week of work because of a depressive episode and my psychiatrist gave me a doctors note. The note had his letterhead so they knew I had some kind of mental health issue. I told them I was bipolar and now I am obsessing over thoughts like: “what if they are judging me?” And “what if I don’t get the promotion because they know I am bipolar?” These thoughts are immersive and even seep into my dreams - making me feel unworthy. Not Mighty. One moment I feel free because I told them, the next my paranoia takes over and I think they are all plotting behind my back. I am stable, medicated, a “good girl who takes her meds” according to my psychiatrist but I feel inferior because they know. I am crazy. I am not getting that promotion. I shouldn’t have told them. But wait, maybe they are woke? Maybe they see me for who I am? Maybe I’m stable and wonderful - the queen of her bipolar domain. #BipolarObsessiveness #Stigma #Bipolar #Bipolar2Disorder

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The Stigma of Living with Bipolar Disorder #Stigma #BipolarDisorder #BipolarStigma

Many people have had their opinions on my mental illnesses. Match making their assumptions to certain things I’ve done in the past, my behaviours and actions, my persona, my decision making and the obsession to listen to the whispers from those claiming that they have the exclusive story on my life, to the easy answer. From this basis they feel that they have the right to become judge, jury and executioner. The complexity and depth of knowledge an individual requires to be such, arguably still hasn’t been reached. There’s no explanation for the cause of Bipolar Disorder. There’s 3 theories that are the most common in cases which are used as a benchmark but these aren’t set in stone. There’s no cure. It’s currently classified as a lifelong affliction by the medical profession. The medication that is prescribed isn’t a cure either, only a remedy. The medication I have, Depakote (Sodium Valproate) is an anticonvulsant that slows down the neurones in the brain. It is potent, as it needs to be, and makes me docile. Things are harder. Concentration, memory, cognitive function, muscle spasms and weight gain. It also increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes. The medication used for Bipolar and Schizophrenia patients are reported to shorten the life expectancy of the individual by 9-20years and 10-20 years respectively. More than smoking 40 cigarettes a day. So If you’re going to the effort of being interested and intrigued with a person and their circumstance, maybe save yourself sometime and get the full picture by actually asking the person.

I’m the first to admit that I abused drink and drugs (cocaine) to cope. People put my consumption down to the cause of my mental illness. Bipolar Disorder is not caused by drug abuse. Substance abuse unfortunately goes hand in hand with Bipolar Disorder. The fact cocaine was used as an antidepressant not to long ago shows it has some positive effects. People say that I will have the come down and it’s dangerous. They never step back to realise the medication that I take daily is working on the same principle. That I have to feed my addiction so to speak. I’m a legal drug addict. If I didn’t have my daily dose, not only would it be the bipolar but also the withdrawal from antidepressants and antipsychotics or anticonvulsants.

The stark reality is that it’s far from romantic or desirable to be living with a mental illness. Everything that I was doing was a response to the pain and suffering I was going through. My responses may not have been the most productive or proactive nor positive but I have since learnt from them. My purpose on this Earth is not to make you understand my journey, I’m here to be part of the journey.

Does anyone think less of me because I have Bipolar Disorder? The common perception is that it is linked to‘crazy people’ or ‘maniacs’. Well to anyone who does, I’ll leave you with the words of Alan Watts 👌

“No one is more dangerously insane than one who is sane all the time” #Bipolar

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Go For a Run Mate 🏃🏽 #BipolarStigma #ignoranceofpeople #nounderstanding

Today is a groundbreaking day in the world of Bipolar Disorder treatment. My mate has cracked the code and solved the problem with his own genius.

“You need to go for a run mate”

Well, here’s me with barely enough patience, energy, motivation and interest to put my socks on, but if I just go for a run it’ll all be fine and I don’t have to suffer anymore.

Now, I’m well aware that exercise is important for your mental health as it releases endorphins and stimulates serotonin in your brain. However, myself and many others are battling with mental illness, not mental health. Mental health and mental illness are two different things entirely. This needs to be understood firsthand how to differentiate between the two.

mental health – noun

“A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.” “all this pressure seems to be affecting his mental health

mental illness – noun

“A mental illness is a syndrome characterised by clinically significant disturbance in an individual’s cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental illnesses unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above.”

The complexities of mental illnesses are so diverse and difficult to comprehend by people, even by those who are living with it day to day. It’s a life long illness that I will have with me for the rest of my life. I’ve accepted that, I’m learning now how to best coexist with it.

I just wish some would keep their verbal diarrhoea well away from me. It’s offensive.

But then again, if I go for a run, everything will be fine hey? 🤷🏻‍♂️ 🏃🏽 👌

#mentalillnessdifferenttomentalhealth
#exercisedoesntfixeverything

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The stigma #BipolarStigma

I have always wondered how people who knows that I have bipolar feel towards me. Do people actually look down on people with mental illness? It affects my self confidence and my self worth..

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