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Sex addiction in response to sexual abuse

A rarely discussed symptom of sexual abuse yet one of the most common. Sex addiction. I’ve experienced it and I know many girls in worse situations who also came out that way. I think it’s rarely discussed because how do you explain to people an obsession you have related to a trauma? Psychologically it’s perfectly understandable but many people don’t get that because it seems illogical.

You know the stereotype of the stripper with daddy issues? Go to any strip club and you’ll find it’s a stereotype for a reason-it’s a very common out come. Girls get molested, developed a push pull attraction to sex, their identity becomes their sex appeal (for many reasons), they need money…. So that’s where they find themselves working. They also often dabble in prostitution… I’ve considered it… I still do… every day. To get enough money to run away. Or at least to hitch a ride.

I always found it funny when people accused asexuals of being sexually abused for having no interest in sex. I’m over here like, “I’ve yet to meet a child sexual abuse survivor 100% afraid of sex. Adult sexual abuse survivors? Hell yes. Childhood? No. I think it’s more common to be addicted or have no feelings in particular (it’s for someone else never you-I know a learning disabled victim with that response… but she’s really religious so we don’t click)… to nonintimate sex… while simultaneously yes being afraid of it.

Make no sense? Welcome to my life. I can only have sex if I don’t feel it’s sweet or kind or love related. Sweet kind sex makes me freak out. I think it’s about an inability to merge romance with sex. My brain can’t fathom a coexistence between them. Sex for my abuser was about his pleasure so my brain sees sex as dirty. And can’t fathom someone loving me while doing it.

“I’m far more afraid of someone I trust touching me than a stranger,” is a good way to sum it up. These are based on my experiences and may not reflect everyone obviously but I figure I’d spell it out.

#CPTSD #PTSD #Trauma #Abuse #Sexaddiction #Addiction #SexualAbuse #ChildSexualAbuse

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“This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.” – Maya Angelou, American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist

A fresh start, new perspective, empty slate, limitless possibilities, put yesterday behind you and move forward, and breathe and lean into a new day. You can set new objectives, new goals, and new challenges for yourself. There is only the new moment…be present and enjoy the day. It will pass too, then the cycle begins again. Like Ground Hog’s day, as each new day comes you can adapt with new knowledge and confidence from your past experiences. Take a new step…knowing you can achieve whatever you desire…

… but it’s not always easy leaving the past behind. Painful memories can linger, past failures take away our confidence. Depression can hold us back and only have us thinking of struggles behind us and future worries, but it really is a new wonderful day! Enjoy!

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Fear #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Alcoholism #drugaddiction #Sexaddiction #Codependency #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #BackPain #COVID19 #longcovid #Migraine #Headache #Disability #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #MentalHealthHero #Hope #Joy #Happiness #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope

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My bf of 7 years is bipolar 1 and has BPD. I found out he’s been cheating. Can someone explain to me hypersexuality?

I found out that the first five years he was cheating on me from day one. Three were actual long term relationships. He had no intention of stopping. All of the woman are also bipolar or have anxiety disorders. One of them told me everything. I always knew but the confirmation has been killing me for two years. I’ve found out so much and I’m obsessively searching for things I don’t really want to know. I have caught him in 100’s of lies. I’ve had depression most of my
Life but it’s been severe for the last 14 years since my husband left me with little kids for a 21 year old. I finally ended it but I fear being alone. That I’m unloveable. That I’ll never be enough. I just want someone make me understand so I can stop blaming myself.

#Bipolar1Disorder #Hypersexuality #Sexaddiction #pathologicalliar

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Lost in addiction my life was unmanageable, but I couldn't stop!

Since I was a young teenager I always struggled with addiction. It totally overshadowed my life as a secret second world. I was what they call a Functioning Addict who still showed up in life while coming home to a scary life of hell. But my job, friendships and connections to family really suffered. I went to family functions in a haze, tired from acting out in my addiction, not fully focused, not present, and I wasn't able to support others or be supported. Of course I never asked for help because not only was I not fully aware of my addiction, but I also didn't want to show weakness.

My friendships faded as I think people thought I didn't care about them...but how could I? Addiction is partially a very selfish thing...not intentionally, but I lived only for my next fix. And I hid it well, or so I thought. I cancelled commitments, didn't show up on time or at all, without any plausible excuses. I didn't know what was going on in my friends’ lives because even when I was with them I had no focus and was paranoid they’d see right through me & tried to say the right thing but looking back I usually didn't do that well.

I was a great employee when I was there on good days, but being late was a regular pattern, I didn't focus with customers and often my manager or other employees had to step in and cover for me! On my yearly reviews I got 10’s for product knowledge & customer service, but 4’s and 5’s for tardiness, lack of focus & follow through on tasks. I was passed over for promotions numerous times and was resentful and angry. In my mind I was a great employee, but in reality I was usually either zoned out or hung over from the night before, or already planning my next fix.

I was out of control on some levels but just couldn't stop. I tried to change with will power and every time I sobered up I promised myself I’d change, I’d never do that again, and in the moment thought I could, but usually the next night I’d be right back struggling lost in addictive throes. I put my life at risk hanging out in the wrong neighborhoods and with the wrong people. One of these nights I was raped and contracted HIV! There were real life consequences for my dangerous lifestyle.

I can't remember exactly when it was that I hit rock bottom, but I do remember proposing to a girl I barely knew on the 4th date and getting engaged. Turns out she too was an addict, she just hid it from me really well. I tracked her down one night into a bar and tried unsuccessfully to take her home and I came face to face that I was an addict too! I broke up with her and almost immediately went to my first 12 step meeting, learned that I was not alone and admitted that I was powerless over my addiction and my life was unmanageable.

After many ups and downs, trials and tribulations, today I have been sober for 9.5 years & each night I pray thanks for another sober day! #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Depression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Alcoholism #Sexaddiction #drugaddiction #12step


Confusion on leaving. Grief.

I thought we were in love; that we we're lucky to have found each other. You put your addictions above me. Alcohol, medications and sex. Your secrets ran through every aspect of our marriage.

If I leave you, if I don't accept you as an addict, did I ever really love you? Or did I just not understand addiction... Our third member of the marriage.

#Divorce #Sexaddiction #Alcoholism #Addiction #Love


Currently struggling.

I don’t know if it’s my bipolar popping out again. Just went through terrible depression in and out for 2 months. Now I’m very obsessed with sex. I don’t act on anything, but it’s taking up my mind. Literally distracting me from school, which is very draining. I just want to have awesome sex as an escape. It’s very embarrassing to admit I have a lust addiction on top of my alcohol addiction (sober). #Mania #BipolarDepression #Sexaddiction #ADD #Hypersexuality


Can BPD and hypersexual other be together?

So, my first post ever but feels are really taking over. My boyfriend is a sex addict (and cannot be intimate with me unless he’s been intimate with other people as well) and week ago we somewhat decided to break up. Yet we live together, were intimate together yesterday, hold hands and etc. And he’s suffering depression due to his hypersexuality as well since we both don’t know how to make US work. Me, being a borderline am crying half time of the day and barely holding it together and he’s disassociating even further. And yet he’s the utmost perfect being ever! I have never connected ideologically and intellectually with anyone like that. I just feel like it’s somehow my fault and of course I know it is not, just I have this innate need to protect and support him but I cannot, can I? Not when I’m hurting as well. Has anyone of you ever had similar relationship or experience? I really could use some advice so I don’t drip over. #Sexaddiction #Depression #Relationships #Love #Hypersexuality #Nosupportsystem #Advice

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Sexual hunger #Sex #riskybehaviour #Relationships #Sexuality #SexualAbuse #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Sexaddiction

If sex triggers you, is suggest stopping.

When I get aroused, omg I need to be locked in a room and have cold water thrown on me till I calm down. I partake and list for the stupidest, riskiest, sometimes assaulted, unprotected sexual situations.

My drive is out of this world. I seriously would... and have... had sex on a whim with whom ever. I’ve been the other woman with a married man. There seem to be no boundaries. I am able to slow myself down for a bit but holy cow. The kraken is released and there is no holding back.

I know part of this comes from history of longtime sexual assault at a young age. Its the taken advantage of and the subsequent shame or power, self consciousness, feelings of being dirty, I really enjoy. I also, truly, like getting slammed and humiliated during sexual.

With regards to protection, I basically never use it, but I get screened for stds whenever I do this. I almost welcome the idea of catching something, so it requires me to slam on the breaks.

I don’t know how to curtail this. I’ve been off the charts lately. I sort of don’t want to, but I could seriously damage relationships because of this, and I have straight out been assaulted in playing with these behaviors as well.

How do others (you) manage this sort of all encompassing self-destructive lust. This applies to women as well, but I have a strong preference towards penises.

My therapist said I need to use my “wise mind.” I try. I’m very much aware these are self damaging behaviors, but I can’t seem to stop. As I said, I want to hurt myself and I want whatever psychological state I feel when it happens.
What do you do? No joke. Anyone addicted? Is it related to a desire for humiliation, perhaps?