Mood Disorders

"...throw roses into the abyss and say: 'here is my thanks to the monster who didn't succeed in swallowing me alive."

Friedrich Nietzsche

This haunting line from Nietzsche's final autobiographical work captures one of his most profound ideas: the transformation of suffering into gratitude.

The "monster" represents all the forces that tried to destroy him — illness, isolation, rejection, despair. The "abyss" is that dark void of meaninglessness and pain we all face at times.

But instead of cursing what nearly broke him, Nietzsche offers roses. Why? Because those struggles forged who he became. The monster that failed to consume him made him stronger, deeper, more alive.

This isn't toxic positivity or pretending pain doesn't hurt. It's something more radical: acknowledging that our greatest trials, the ones that nearly destroyed us, often become the source of our greatest strength and wisdom.

**The paradox:**
We thank the monster not for the suffering itself, but for *failing* to defeat us. For leaving us standing, transformed, capable of throwing roses into that same darkness.

Have you ever looked back at something that nearly broke you and felt, unexpectedly, a strange gratitude for surviving it? #MentalHealth #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #Addiction #MoodDisorders

Some "To Don'ts". Which one are you taking?
#AutismSpectrum #Agoraphobia #AnorexiaNervosa #Anxiety #Addiction #BipolarDisorder #BackPain #MentalHealth #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CeliacDisease #Cancers #ChronicIllness #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #InterstitialCystitis #ADHD #EatingDisorder #Lupus #Grief #Schizophrenia #PTSD #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #MoodDisorders #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

This week previous I had a textbook example of what bipolar looks like once it has manifested itself in the mind. I decided that I needed to spruce up my clothes and make a few additions and get rid of some of my attire. Well it went well I thought until I got a moment of clarity 😂🤦🏽‍♂️

Below is a link to a blog I wrote about it if you’re curious to read it.

The Bipolar Donation Program #MentalHealth #MightyTogether

My emotions suppressed, switched off when I’m depressed.
Where once were anger, sadness, despair and fear, there’s now only nothingness everywhere.
There was frustration, exhaustion, tiredness and pain - now searching for feelings is all in vain.

I was too tired of this life as it cut my heart like a knife.
Now I no longer feel - my emotions turned off.
„Does it taste good?“ she asks, and I nearly scoff.
I nod, absentmindedly, at her - she doesn’t know that it’s not like before; what I once enjoyed eating, feels now like a chore.

I stare blankly ahead.
She whispers „She looks so sad.“
She doesn’t know that my heart‘s heavy indeed - of comfort it surely is in need.

The sky so grey, it matches my mood;
like clouds I feel so far removed.
The weight of emotions was too much to bear, cracking my heart open bare.
Now nothingness is everything my heart can spare.

I look outside, not trying to hide.
Rain splatters the windowsill,
the wind rages, never to still.
Leaves fall away and are caught in the whirl; in a violent dance they swirl.
A leaf falls down - brown colour, texture crisp.
I‘m sure if I touched it, it would crumble to nothing but mist.

I feel that way too, so hollow inside - and
deep down I know I would too, if someone tried.
But I won’t let people close,
because isolation is what I chose.
So I stay on my own, trapped inside.
Can someone die while still alive?
Because I might.

[Picture by Paul Pastourmatzis, Unsplash]

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders #CPTSD

[I recently discovered the Musical Next to Normal and fell in love with it.
The pic is a drawing I made.
The song describes what Depression actually feels like…]

Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside, not knowing when you'll dive
Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?

When a world that once had colour fades to white and grey and black
When tomorrow terrifies you, but you'll die if you look back

You don't know
I know you don't know
You say that you're hurting
It sure doesn't show
You don't know
It lays me so low
When you say, "Let go"
And I say, "You don't know"

The sensation that you're screaming, but you never make a sound
Or the feeling that you're falling, but you never hit the ground
It just keeps on rushing at you day-by-day-by-day-by-day
You don't know, you don't know what it's like to live that way

Like a refugee, a fugitive forever on the run
If it gets me, it will kill me, but I don't know what I've done

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders

As you may or may not know, I use writing as a coping mechanism for my difficult times with my Bipolar Disorder. It’s not exclusively a coping mechanism though, I also write when I’m not struggling as I thoroughly enjoy it. The choosing of a topic or subject, the research on said topic or subject, the structuring of the narrative that you have created, then the tweaking of your narrative to make it more fluid, clear and/or comprehensible.

Here is a link to the Manifesto that I have started to write. There’s 3 parts so far and all of them are a work in progress, so if you have any ideas, comments, suggestions or anything please, please, please let me know in the comments section below. I’m receptive to negative comments too so if you have a negative opinion about my work then please do share it, I’m not going to be offended, I will actually be happy with it as it’s a great way to learn and improve 👍

The Sanderson Manifesto 📄

#MightyTogether #ADHD #DistractMe #Selfcare #MoodDisorders

Here’s a little video I’ve put together with a voice over by my good self, explaining my understanding and my description of what Bipolar Disorder means to me. I hope you like it and if you have any questions, comments and or suggestions, please feel free to reach out in the comments section below 👇🏼 👌👍

youtu.be/7AathBkyYX0

#MightyTogether #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #MoodDisorders #Mania