Pressure

Hello everyone,
I've had and have, this intense pain in my head. It feels like someone is pressing or squeezing my brain. It's been 6 days and it's not going away. I'm nauseous, I'm having difficulty concentrating and staying awake.
I don't have insurance and when I went to urgent care, they dismissed my concerns as just a normal headache without doing any tests.
Anyone have any advice? #help #Advice #headpain #Pressure

I am 27 years old. My current situation in life is so weird at the moment. I don’t know what to do or what to think. My boyfriend (who is 25) works full time remotely. His pay is more than decent. I on the other hand have no job. Sort of. I work part time at a bookshop. Mostly on weekends. I was pressured into finding a job. I did. Now I’m being told to find a better, full time job with much better pay. I can tell that if I won’t, my boyfriend will leave me. So, in my mind, I don’t think I have the capability and mentality to underhold a full time job. I don’t think I have that strength. Even getting up early in the morning to work on the weekends is hard enough already. Also i forgot to mention, we live with his parents. His mom recently underwent a huge surgery and still recovering, his dad is kinda losing it. He also has depression and anxiety and being manic. Now being in the household with all this down, negative energy is really getting to me. It makes it hard for me. I am afraid my relationship is in jeapordy. I don’t know what to do. I am afraid. #gettingajob #findingajob #Lifeishard #Growingup #Life #Depression #Anxiety #underpressure #Pressure #afraid

Our society pressures us to decide what we want to do with our life before we even finish school. We are expected to know what we want to study, what we want to do, who we want to be. But why? Why are we pressured, and expect to know all this when we’re still so young. Our brain isn’t fully developed at 18. Most kids go to university because their parents expect them to go. It’s looked down upon if we have a gap year, if we want to do something else. But realistically isn’t that better for us? Shouldn’t we get real life experience, work experience, and grow up, before we make huge life decisions? Going to university is expensive, many either can’t afford it, or have to figure out how to finance it. But they go with no plan, they go just for the fun of it, for the Greek life, for the parties. That’s not how it should be! Going to university should be for a reason, it should be because we want to, because we know exactly why we go and what we want to get out of it. We should break free from this pressure, and do that is right for us. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our decisions, but be proud to say ‘I’ll take some time off and figure out my life and who I am’. That should be more supported and praised. Do life the way you want, the way it feels right for you. And if you don’t go to university, but do something else that makes you happy and fulfilled, do it with pride. And if you figure out you want to start university when you’re older, there’s no shame in that. One is never too old to learn and grow. #growth #Life #Decisions

As I lay here in bed waiting for my dinner to cook, my mind is walking down memory lane. When I consider all the health issues I’ve had and those that became chronic the question of why is nagging at me. Another burning question is why am I still alive?

There was a point when I thought I had had all the illnesses and health issues I should have to deal with. Well, you couldn’t proof it by me! Things just keep happening.

I was thrilled to be able to restart my Simponi Aria Infusions this past Tuesday. It was so painless with my Med-A-Port in place and working. No IV or Lab sticks! I took myself out to dinner and enjoyed a short shopping trip through the Dollar Tree. About the end of the shopping my left foot ulcer started hurting. Normally, it doesn’t bother me. Once home, I decided to change the dressing. What a surprise awaited me. Next stop the Emergency Room. I figured a little debridement, an antibiotic prescription, and home, into me mighty and snuggling with my three furry babies.

One of my girlfriends was covering the ER that night. It was great to see her as she had been off for 8 weeks as she go COVID-19. She told me it was the worse experience of her live. No matter what she did she simply got not breath properly.

In any case, she decided to X-ray my foot just to be sure I didn’t have osteomyelitis in my foot bones. I thought it was over kill but, humored her. Next thing I know and nurse comes in to start an IV and the lab followed right behind. Both were preparing to stick me. I quickly informed them I had a port and there would be no sticking me but they were welcome to use my port. Next the doctor is telling me I had osteomyelitis of my foot. I got admitted to the hospital. I received IV antibiotic one right after the other for 48 hours. Definitely, the timing tight after my infusion that turns off my immune system want’t helpful.

I got home yesterday. I pray my Lord let’s this be the last oomphs. Welcome 2021 to my world. 😷. 🦶🏻 🤪 👨🏼‍⚕️

#RheumatoidArthritis #psa #ChronicIlless #ChornicPain #Crohn ’s Disease #autoimmune Vasculitis #Pressure ulcer # #DiabetesType2

I don't know how they can do it, because I can't, not with my current state of mental health. I used to think that I can. Back when I was in college, I was part of a highly competitive class and quality work was always expected from each one. Back then, working under pressure meant pulling out all nighters just to get things done before deadlines, or surviving three exams for different classesin a single day. It wasn't easy, but I was young, healthy and motivated. I was usually rewarded at the end of the semester with a fairly high grade. That was before. Then my mental health failed me. Then I graduated and landed a job.

I didn't realize how poorly I actually worked under pressure until I started to get anxiety attacks upon facing a tight deadline. I had to change my ringtones every now and then just so I don't get phantom calls from my boss or any of our clients. I shrink at the end of the phone line every time a client rants without remorse. My heart beats fast as my brain slows down when I am asked a question that I was not prepared for. Eventually, pulling up all nighters for me meant a whole day or two of flu like symptoms. I am already filled with dread whenever I am assigned to do any specialized task. All my mind and body wants to do now is rest.

How is my mental health through all this? Obviously it went downhill. But I didn't know how lower it could go or how much longer I can take it without breaking down. I have failed to equip myself with the proper coping mechanisms and self care strategies to keep myself afloat through all this. I constantly put off seeing a mental health specialist and getting proper diagnosis just because I want to stay neurotypical, even though i know, deep down that I am not.

Working under pressure is a value that has been prized by most capitalist industries for the past few decades because it is the value that brings out results. But niw we know that it is no longer the most optimal way to work. Yes, it brings out the results, but it can also bring out the worst in people - low quality outputs, physical stress symptoms, anxious thoughts and emotions, strained relationships, poor decision making, burnout. This list can go on. There may be very few special people who can actually work under pressure for their whole career, but will always choose not to. I do hope that the disruptions caused by the current global pandemic can also bring an end to glorifying this unhealthy workplace value. I can only hope that future workplaces would choose to strive for quality with less pressure.

#Anxiety #Pressure #WorkAnxiety #Workplace #JobSearch #Procrastination #Burnout

My job is client facing and incredibly stressful. Because of my anxiety, I've only worked about 8 days of the last 30. To put it mildly, I'm having even more anxiety due to not having enough funds to pay my bills. My company is extremely supportive but it's not like they can pay me when I'm not there (or here since I've been WFH since mid March). This adds guilt to my anxiety, again, making it worse. On top of this, my PCP doesn't think I need any meds for "rescue" of my incapacitating panic attacks. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I feel lost in a desert. #Anxiety #Work #Pressure #selfsabotage ?