mind

How to Become an Exceptional Patient and Defy the Odds! Written by Bernie Siegel MD

www.paintreatmentdirectory.com/posts/how-to-become-an-except...

#heali ngjourney #defythodds #mind body connection #Holistic health #berniesiegelmd #Holistic approach

There is a Dark Place that our minds can take us. In the Darkness there is doubt, fear, loneliness, pain, anxiety and depression. Once our mind is submersed into the Darkness, reality is no longer trusted.
Living on the Edge of Darkness

When I was younger I used to collect quotes like this one (and I particularly liked Jim Morrison's).

I don't think general quotes can work magically or for anyone, but I do believe they can hide hints inside of them.

I always find them inspirational, even when I don't think they fit for me.

"If you don't control your mind, someone else will."

What do you think about this? :)

#mind #Awareness #jimmorrison #Quotes

Just checking in with you all. This has been one seriously emotionally difficult week for me, which I have not experienced since early December.

This is because I am literally living in a time of uncertainty, on many fronts. And my TBI induced PTSD mind seems to be striving to operate during this time in a state of anxiety. As I type this, I will ask, does the anxious mind crave stress? I am convinced my mind runs to or strives to live in an anxious state. Really, I am sure this form of addiction to stress is true: i.e., it’s like craving something or dealing with a habit.

Anyway, again, I am simply checking in. Honestly, I think my mind has kept me too internally focused to even open this app most of this week. Thanks for being here!

There are times when what has been becomes suddenly much more real then usual.
Not as a flashback - they're definitely different - but more like a realization that what's in my memories, in my patterns, in my body and mind has really happened, some time ago in my life.

What surprises me the most is:
I'm not fine, even though I'm better than in previous months and years, but, the hell, compared to before it's like I'm in Heaven.

It doesn't bring me the positivity and mood switch I might expect, it weights the same, most of the times, but it surely helps me redimensioning the whole picture.
I'm grateful, overall, for one thing: now, when I have my crisis, they're still bad and, sometimes, worse than other times years ago, BUT they're crisis: they happen from time to time. (I'm not talking about being on low mood; to me, before, it was much more than that: tentacles slipping out of my head trying to choke me and smash anything inside and around me).
I can feel my mind clean, and, yup, I'm now crying, all of a sudden.

I'd never wanna go back to before.

A week ago I was writing a post I've never shared and, when recalling the bad effects the thing I was talking about had on me, I realized the list was very very long and very very painful and messy.
What makes it often difficult for me to comprehend my patterns and problems is that I tend to hide them, and then forget about them, over the years.

Thing is, there has been terror.
I don't wanna include the details, because I'm aware that for someone they could be not nice.

I shared this picture (search for Riftress on Pinterest, if you're interest - I really like these works) because it is one of the pics I saved back then.
Something have sucked up my own self from my life and I think it was the exhaustion from that period.

Crying helps me too.
If now I'm crying, it means it really has been hard.
Since I tend to hide and minimize, since people shared their issues with me and rarely listened to me, always ignored the signals I was pointing out and since things for me often changed - environmentally speaking - I tend to forget.
To me, now, it feels like I'm based on a void past.
It doesn't mean I'd wanna linger on it: just that in order to understand why I am the way I am today I need to recall.

Times like this one, though, makes me wanna go back that before and erase everything. Why it had to be so damageful.
Again, though, I tend to hide: none really witnessed in person any free expression of my mental state, so, then, it feel more righteous to minimize it. This confuses me.

Though I think it's not fair to compair: the same trauma can have different outcomes on different people; that's why I think crying is helpful -> it spots out the fact that what I'm feeling and thinking about - recalling - has really been a hardship for me.

But it seems impossible that all the dark lump has really left. Did it?
Instead of feeling and expressing itself in dark and full of --- ways*, my mind's just flat. That's the new pattern, I guess.
I've been backfired.
* I don't really feel at ease sharing details, again, but I don't know how to express it.

I still have issues to work on, sometimes - often - I just can take my mind anymore, I often have no energy to live my life, but sure it changed. Time heals.
And I've understood myself and other people better, in the meanwhile, which has been another fundamental turning point.
And I can't express how grateful I am whenever I get to become more aware then before. I love understanding.
So - I still can change and for the better.
There's and I have hope in it.

#Reflection #throwback #Trauma #Crisis #time #Understanding #past #Memory #Pain #cry #Life #mind #pattern #backfired #Healing #Awareness #HealingProcess #exhaustion #Monster #illness #MentalHealth #growing #growth #Present #Hope #change #Grief #Energy