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I just wanna scream

#scream is something that would feel #good right now... But will it #help ?? I have been #struggling a lot and it has not been the #best #Feeling ever. Tonight I went over my recent #Events of #Life and thought that perhaps I had fell behind somehow.

I am #Trying to see what is #True !

What can I do to feel better about this #Job life? (And trying to find something more meaningful).

Please #helpme

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🎠 Getting Out Of Here 💗

With so many problems in this world #Jobs and #hiring people should not be in that list. It is not the person that is always the problem, often times it is the job interviewing process. There are one too many methods that can make you want to #cry and #scream out in frustration.

Expecially when a job expects you to submit your resume and job history, and then suddenly ask you to fill it out all over again.

Jobs should look at your resume, watch how your spelling is, and view to see what kind of personality they may have. Call the applicant to get to know them a bit.

I seriously need a #DayOut of here so I can refresh my mind. #DisneyWorld and #UniversalStudios are two places that are on my mind.

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Scream, yell, punch, scream

I want to scream and yell and punch and scream. Then, i dissociate and see myself screaming and yelling and punching and screaming and crying. I used to do this in real life. When I was younger I had a lot of frustrations that I needed to let out. I would go for long walks in my neighborhood and along a golf course. Then one day I found a brick wall hidden from other bystanders to see. When upset, i would go there. It was maybe a 30 minute walk from my house. I would go there and scream and punch the wall repeatedly and cry. As I got older this act of outlashing began to unleach. When I felt too much anger or fear I started punching people in the middle of conversations. I even let it out on my ex husband. It was to the point where I would black out and not remember doing but I would see the results minutes later. So, I stopped. I kept it in. Having cut up fists and hurt loved ones was no way to live. I started to dissociate. I would go in my mind and forget where I was actually standing. Many say I looked spaced out. At those times I am. I do not see what I am actually looking at. I only see what my brain is visualizing. In my head I would be somewhere screaming and punching and crying. I didn't think I could do it in real life anymore so I did it in my mind. But at one point this turned very dark. Dark to the point where I started visualizing myself die and others die and me kill them or they kill themselves. Until one day I wanted to actually do it. I attempted and it was unsuccessful. All I could do was laugh. Laugh hysterical. Because it seemed as if nothing worked. I couldn't scream. I couldn't punch. I couldn't cry. I couldn't even kill myself. All I can do is laugh. So now I go through my days laughing because it actually makes me feel good. Many see me and wonder what am I laughing about. Well, do I need something to laugh about. I just laugh because if I don't I might scream or yell or hit something. #Anxiety #Depression #anger #BipolarDisorder #scream #yell #punch #cry

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I wanna scream

I'm so frustrated I feel like I wanna throw hands with someone and that I wanna yell just saying shit and getting mad but I've bottled it up but I still feel bad when I explode ugh!! #MentalHealth #anger #scream

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It's bad when I can't even tell you guys!

Honestly, this photo is all I can say. Just too many triggers at once. But I'm not in danger, at least, so don't worry about that. #panic #panic #panic #CPTSD #scream

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Scream cry but dont give up #CheckInWithMe

Just a thought for you

If you are struggling

You are allowed to scream

You are allowed to cry

But dont give up

That is what ChatSpace is here for

Love n hugs Tj ❤🤗😘
#NeverAlone #MightyTogether #Love #Hugs #cry #scream #dontgiveup #peace #talkingtherapy #Friends #Family #Gettingtogether #Loveyourselffirst

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My two worlds are collapsing

I have two groups of friends. I love them all but they're not the same kind of people. With one group I can be crazy, I can laught and speak about a lot of things, stupid things. With the other one I have the feeling I can be myself, I can be #depressed and #anxious , and I know it's okay with them, they knows who I am. But now, they're going to meet tomorrow and this two groups, my two worlds want me for themselves ...
But I can't cloning myself ! I don't know how to deal with that, I don't have a solution ... I want to run away and let them deal with that alone. I just want to #cry and #scream because I want to please my friends, all of them and I can't

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#Gratitude and #Depression 1.20.19

#52SmallThing
I am grateful for heat in our home, food in our stomachs, a roof over our heads, etc., all the these material things. I don't take these things for granted. But most of all God has been giving me the chance to wake up each new day to choose to make it a good day. In all honesty I have been #depressed over a week with #tears #Hiding behind my eyelids. I struggle each morning to get up and get myself moving. #IBS , not keeping food down, running to the bathroom at 3 in the morning just making the sink and toilet. My body and mind seem out of sync.
I have been writing poems and #Feeling #numb #Insecure and beating myself up even
more because I can't figure out what #trigger (s) might have been the catalyst(s). All I have wanted and been able to do is the #bare #minimum . I know I have #sad . I have so much to be thankful for. My husband always gives me the space to work my way out of my mixed emotions. This is the way he deals with my #moods . We start out each day with warm hugs and kisses. He runs circles around me with cooking, cleaning, etc. I use to be able to do more because I had to. He worked out of state for 5 years. I took care of the house, our son...Then my body and mind really fell apart ike clock work from late November until Spring. I was blessed to have my parents nearby. They help me and my son when it got to be too much for me. I just want to be above all of this #Sadness . Should I #scream or #cry . Does anyone out there that understands #why ???

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