#Depression #Selfworth
Living in the dark inner word
I have been a big, generous supportive friend and group leader of more than 1 group for years now on The Mighty and I hope 🙏 that our Mighty family is truly inclusive and a safe place for Jewish people as well.
I want to think that my Mighty friends on here would not think different or less of me for being Jewish.
I don’t want us to have to feel afraid or unsafe to be, say, express this part of who we are.
But, I have been seeing with deep hurt and sadness that we have been hiding, in the shadows, and this is obviously not helping with the same #MentalHealth that we too deserve.
Happy Hanukkah needs to be freely expressed too, and as well supported as Merry Christmas, for one example.
I refuse to have #Anxiety over being fully genuinely me.
And, I will not allow it to cause any darkness and isolation that is dangerous for my amazing progress with my healing journey and with my #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder
#ChronicIllness #MyCondition #WarmWishes #Jewish #Jews #MightyTogether #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Mindfulness #Selfcare #worth #Selfworth #Selflove #resilience #Selfharm #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders
I know I’m annoying,
You don’t have to tell me
I know I’m weird,
I hear it a lot
I know I’m not beautiful,
People remind me everyday
I know I’m boring,
But,
That’s the one thing that just isn’t quite me
People have made me see
That they don’t like me
So I shut down
My thoughts pound
Scared to move or do anything
Because I’m scared I’ll get another comment about me again
All I wanted was to have fun but I can’t, because that’s the one thing I’m not-
And I know that too, people have shown me through and through…
We tend to forget that no matter how worthless we may feel at any point in our lives, that we are in fact, never truely worthless. We are all just mixed bags of neurodiversity and we all are capable of MIRACULOUS things. Simple. #Selfworth #Selfesteem #loveyourself #believeinyourself
Thinking about my last post and the comments I got. Especially one. About not measuring your worth based on your productivity. But having worth because you do. Because you are who you are. Because you are. Very revolutionary in my mind... And I am definitely not there yet in my mind. But I would like to be.
And I would like to share this with my fellow mighties: You are good enough *simply* because you exist. Maybe it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't for me. But maybe we can work on it together? One small step at a time.
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
#Selfcare
#Selfworth
(Picture from Pinterest as always:)
I’m practising the art of not caring so much, not taking on the thoughts of others and dancing to the dismal tunes of society’s perfections. #Selfworth #Selfesteem
I am worth it!!! LOUDER .... I AM WORTH IT!! Hopefully tomorrow I'll truly believe this!
Here’s a recent post from #TinyZebraNotes on Instagram:
Hello, speedy zebra - slow down. It’s okay to meet yourself at your own pace and enjoy moving at a level that best fits your mental and physical needs. You are strong and valued at whatever pace you choose is right for you.
#Selfcare #ChronicIllness #Selfworth
Does anyone else besides me base their self-worth on their productivity? Do you find yourself anxious if you have nothing to do? Do you chastise yourself for taking a break if you don't think you "earned" it?
Yesterday I was working on writing projects and some marketing stuff and around 1pm I felt tired. I wanted to just sit and watch some Netflix. But I could hear that voice inside my head saying "you should be doing something." Then I thought "Have I done enough to earn this time doing nothing?"
I quickly realized what was happening and had to remind myself that I don't have to earn rest and relaxation. I don't always have to be doing. I don't have to earn my humanity. And neither do you.
If you find yourself questioning if you have done enough...you have. You deserve to just be without any conditions. You deserve peace and quiet. You deserve play.
You deserve to be you.
I like this quote because it aptly describes what it is to suffer from a chronic long term illness, because societal norms make us naturally displaced.
If you are also afflicted with childhood trauma or CPTSD (as I think Jeanette Winterson most likely is), the displacement becomes part of your fabric. No matter where you go or what you do, you never quite feel like you have arrived at the right place.
You are forever searching.
Growing up in an unsafe environment, meant that my ability to trust in the outside world was forever tainted. No matter how much time passes, because time in our minds is an abstract concept.
Trauma does not obey the laws of time.
For this reason; the only truly safe place that feels like home are the nooks and crannies in my mind. The only hiding place that no one can invade or take from me. Self comfort was something I was forced to learn from the start, so I belong very securely in my inner sanctuary… it is the outside world that gives me trouble.
After years of forced silence, I find that I can no longer hold back my truths. Unfortunately people don’t want to hear the truth, we are supposed to engage in odd games and superficial niceties. Particularly if you’re British—because complaining is a social faux pas that has somehow become encoded into our culture. Even if you suspect your waiter spat in your meal, you’ll still gush about how great everything was if questioned, then perhaps rush home to leave a bad online review.
It’s the new angry letter to the editor.
I’m not convinced this is a particularly healthy way to live your life, but when you’re a spoonie, sometimes you have to choose your battles wisely. Be a nonplussed ‘big dog’ as my therapist calls it.
And, if you’re bedbound or homebound, it can be difficult to find your tribe when you do not have any of the usual things that foster relationships. Work, parenting, hobbies, or trustworthy family members with a healthy respect for personal boundaries.
I think this is why I find nature so comforting—it does not care who or what you are. Outside the world of material and man made things; wherever you are, there you belong.
If any of this describes you—welcome to the Displaced Person’s Club! We don’t have regular meetings or a fixed meet up spot… it’s a work in progress. But you’ve probably been quietly wearing the badge all your life, which gives us all something in common ❤️🩹
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #PTSD #Trauma #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #Selflove #Selfworth #Spoonie #Relationships #HealthyBoundaries #Loneliness