disgust

I know this is so random but earlier I unplugged my hoover from the wall socket and it had somehow broken away leaving a strange hole in the socket face. We didn’t know how it had happened but I was so overwhelmed bu how it looked, I physically couldn’t look at it and honestly even thinking about it now is making me feel so uncomfortable. I can’t stop thinking about it though… it’s like an intrusive thought playing over and over in my head and I feel this awful overwhelming “icky” uncomfortable feeling. There’s also a tiny niggle to go and look at it again to maybe show my brain it’s not so bad or see if it affects me in the same way but honestly the thought if it just makes me shudder.. has anyone else experienced this kind of thing or have any ideas what I am describing? How do I stop thinking about it? I hate that it’s there in my living room..! I feel so weird??!! I’ve heard of trypophobia and wonder if it’s like that?? When I was a child I remember I had a similar feeling when seeing holes in kidney beans made by weevils so think maybe it’s that but this plug socket today wasn’t a perfect circle or repeated pattern but I genuinely feel such an intense sense of disgust. Wtf??

#Anxiety #AnxietyDisorder #trypophobia #mentaldisorder #obsessivecomplusivedisorder #OCD #Fear #disgust #IntrusiveThoughts #aversion #Depression #PanicDisorder

Hello Mind Conquerors!

Like i would like to do every friday, i will repropose this initiative, these are the concepts:

- Sharing how you are feeling in this moment

- Activating notifications on this post

- Reading comments as they are being made, and replying to those to which you can relate to, either with practical advices or kind words :)

If you want to, feel free to give any suggestion to change or improve this post!

The idea is to make us talk with each other in a form that look like a community chat, to stimulate communication and give life to interesting conversations!

If you don't want to comment or reply, don't feel like you have to!

You may just read or skip without any problem, as you please 😊

Thanks to everyone who spent time reading this post :)

#Weeklysharing #conqueryourmind #feelings

#MentalHealth #Suicide #Anxiety #bipolardisorde #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

#ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Schizophrenia

#Happiness #Sadness #freedom #Fear #enjoyment #anger #calm #disgust #Pride

P.S.

Thomas, i copied your hashtag list, i hope that it's not a problem; in case it is, let me know! 😁

My day started fine, but then I had an outburst and blew up on my sister and mother and self harmed and hit my head hard and I’m just very upset and disgusted with myself?? I can’t look at myself in the mirror and I just don’t know. I’m starting to think that time is just the remedy, and she likes to take her sweet time. Thanks!
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharm
#Depression #Anxiety #Injury #disgust #Selflove

I wish I could trust my mom & bf with how I really feel from day to day. I wish I could allow my emotions free rein. I don't though.... I can't tell if it's them I don't trust or myself. I am numb so much of the time & all I want to do is eat. I'm gaining weight & I'm already diabetic so this isn't helping but I feel completely alone like I am so much of a burden already that I shouldn't expect people to listen to me at all. I wish I felt worthy of care & concern. I wish I cared enough about myself to take care of me..... #Depression #selfloathing #disgust #selfshame

At a young age I lost my best friend. I was a lonely kid and just wanted someone to play with me. When she wanted to play with me I was so excited I hadn’t played with anyone in so long and now someone finally wants to. She didn’t want to play my games. She wanted me to play a game... a sick game. I did as she told me to because I was young and lonely. I didn’t know it was wrong at the time but it wasn’t something that I wanted to do either. When I bought it up in front of her and her friend she accused me of lying and me being gross. She threatened me not to tell anyone. I didn’t know what to do. I kept going back to that day and would recoil. I hated myself for what she did to me. I was 6 a child. No one should have to go through this torture. Almost 12 years later it still haunts me that I haven’t told anyone and that she is walking freely, looking down on me. #SexualTrauma #disgust

#Depression, #AnxietyDisorders and #BipolarDisorder - Oh my.

#howareyou #Selfharm This is often so difficult when asked. My mindfulness training wants me to answer transparently and honestly, but my survival instincts tell me to answer it like I always do, “I am alright, how are you?” There are some falsifies in that. 9 out of 10 times I am not doing great, and I secretly want you to say you are too, because I don’t know if I have the #emotional energy to listen to why you are not doing well. It’s not that I’m not #empathetic I do truly care, but I can easily get lost in your story and want to solve problems in your life while not taking care of my own.
It’s 5:30 pm and no one has asked how I am. That will change. In a few hours, we will have friends over for a pre-holiday, holiday dinner. I am using this as a warm up to the family holiday dinner. During the evening, a friend or two will corner me, and with sad eyes and an uncomfortable timbre in their voice will ask how I am. Part of me wants to say I’m fine, not to ruin anyone’s holiday but the truth is: I am struggling, each day I am here is a victory. I haven’t #Selfharm in over a year, but there were two #Suicide attempts. I am so full of #shame, #disappointment, and #disgust with myself, I don’t need any more from you. I am not selfish or a coward. Importantly, I am working hard on this every day. I see a psychiatrist monthly and a therapist weekly. I’m doing hard work, and progress is not coming as fast as I wanted it to. This is not where I thought I would be. Not only was I educated, driven, and successful. I was happy. Now coupled with #Anxiety and #Depression my life is significantly different. It is controlled by fear. Scared to leave the house, fearful of harming or killing myself, terrified that my husband will have me locked away, are things I #ruminate on daily. For the first time, I am at the mercy of my husband (who has never complained) for survival. I feel betrayed by my body and mind. Above all, I now am a shell of a person of who I was five years ago. Success today, is getting out of bed.
All things considered, let’s see which one I will pick tonight. As always, thank you for reading this and hope you have a great rest of the week.