Another day ahead of me
Can anyone please tell me why God won't answer my prayers to not wake up to go through another day of crawling on my knees just to get to the end of the day and go back to sleep?
The only relief I get from the horror of living like this is to sleep.
Every night I pray that I don't wake up anymore 🙏, but every morning I wake up again anyway.
Just crawl on my knees just to make it through the day, impatient for night to come and go to sleep.
My life for the past 6 years has been pure terror because of doctors who refused to listen, letting the true cause of my health problem to just keep getting worse, along with all the symptoms I begged them to listen to .
The nerve damage is now permanent, and will never stop hurting.
The psychiatrist who forced me to remember being raped by a foster father got away with it because the State Medical Board of Ethics and Professional Services completed ignored everything I explained to them, and never even talked to me like I requested many times.
Her lawyer used my brain damage against me and told the State Medical Board that I just got everything mixed up and really don't remember what happened that day.
That day has been stuck in my head every day for the past 6 years because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and what she did.
My life ahead of me is simply fucked, and I wish it would end.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm tired of trying to hold on, knowing that things will never get better.
#PTSD
#Nightmares
#MentalHealth
#givingup
#Selfharm
#tired