Newjob

So, I started a new job last Monday. I was so excited to move on from a very stressful place that wasn’t helping me grow. But since I started it has been more different than I thought it would be. My new manger has been training me, but tbh she shouldn’t be training people.. the things I do know it seems like she’ll be with me then, but when I need help or to ask questions I tend to get ignored at first or she reacts like I’m bothering her or like I’m a total idiot for asking. For some reason she seems to think telling me or walking me through something once or twice is going to make it magically stick.

I thought it was getting better, that things were clicking but then Monday came and I am somehow the biggest failure ever again.. she wanted me to multitask more since there’s a lot of that at our desk, but I also don’t completely know how to do some things yet! It takes me longer or is harder to switch around because I don’t understand certain tasks in the first place. She asked me at one point why it was taking me longer today and I said I was getting confused by a few things and it slowed me down. I was doing well and keeping my “this is for work, not friendships” mindset while chugging along. But at the end of the day I asked if I should stay to call for reminders and she was like, “you haven’t called yet??” And I told her I didn’t get the chance to. I had a couple hours taken out because a new hire orientation I had to attend virtually as well as us just being super busy. She said no, it was time and I should go and that we can’t be taking all day to do one task.

First of all, how did you not know I didn’t call? I’ve been sitting next to you almost all day. And second, I’ve been here one week and have repeatedly said that we didn’t have to touch a lot of this at my old job. Im still learning! I multitasked differently there because it was a different environment and I knew what I was doing!

That last thing right as I was leaving broke something though. I had to rush to my car so I could bawl my eyes out.. I wasn’t able to actually drive home for about 20 minutes. I’ve also been feeling sick and ended up skipping eating lunch and sipping ginger ale instead. Got sick a bit after I got home too. Managed some oyster crackers and continued the ginger ale after though.

I feel so lost and defeated. I really do not want to go to work tomorrow because my confidence feels totally shot (what little I had). I miss my old job and coworkers even if I didn’t get paid enough and the newer insurance there sucked.

My poor bf too. I feel like I complain so much but I also don’t want to bottle things up and not tell him what’s going on, I also need to go back to therapy really bad. Maybe that would help. Does anyone have any advice or encouragement? Please?

Sorry for the novel.. idk where else to go with all of this rn. And this is just a fraction of it 🙃 #Newjob #Defeated #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Migraine #MentalHealth #Fibromyalgia #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #HypermobilitySyndrome #Pain

:) I am at a new job and usually struggle to find or keep employment, so far everyone is nice and the training is better than at other places, but guess don’t want to feel alone in my struggles hiding my mental health at the workplace, maybe eventually I can reach out for help if they are accommodating, they offer some mental health supports partnerships so I’m incredibly lucky. Thanks for any tips and sharing your own story or struggles with work anxiety.

😊🙂🙂💕🙏 💼
🌻🌷❤️🌸☺️🙂

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#Newjob #Anxiety #coping #Trying #Hardwork #DoingMyBest #Hope #New #Life #struggles #Selflove #patience #growing #selfImprovement #resillience #Work #WorkAnxiety #Job #Brave #fears #Journaling #tryingtoovercomefears #SocialAnxiety #Coworkers #Nice #positive #positiveexperience

My dad helped me hang my nimbus 2001 today!! I’m beyond excited! It looks bloody brilliant in the spot. Now I can admire my birthday present for years to come! Which is nice since my depression has been kicking my butt lately. I hate having paranoia as a newish symptom. :(

#birthday #checkinwithme #Depression #Newjob

I’m really struggling today, I was embarrassed at my job today on top of not feeling like I belong here. It’s madness how I start a job and that same insecurities from my last job came rushing back but also just how much I miss my old job and what was good about it. I feel so alone, and sad, my depression has been getting bad lately and taken my interest in anything other than sleeping away. I’m not sure what to do.

At least it’s fursuit Friday and I finally received my birthday present that’s been on order for three months. Here’s a pic of it!

#CheckInWithMe #Newjob #ChronicDepression #Depression #DepressionNaps #Anxiety

I need to vent, otherwise my brain is gonna explode. Everything is fine-ish at my new job however, my area isn’t that big and I don’t have anywhere near enough to keep my busy. I’m literally moving so slow to try and get time to move but it doesn’t. I’ve gone to my coworkers and asked for suggestions on how to half less free time and they don’t really have an answer. This sucks. I really wanna make this new job work but this downtime is killing me.

I’m currently hiding in a class room writing this, because of course they have cameras everywhere which only makes my paranoid and ibs bad so naturally that means I’m also using the bathroom a lot too.

I’m so anxious…

Anyway thanks for reading here’s a picture of my cat as a thank you.
#Anxiety #anxious #ChronicDepression #Depression #Newjob #Paranoia

This is the first time I've bren back in the states for 8 years and the first time I will be living here as a resident since 2009. There's a lot of culture shock but also a lot of good things. I'm sometimes lonely and scared.