Rain

It’s been raining most of the weekend in England. After a week spent in hospital, and 7 weeks from my first A&E trip for ‘concerning’ heart waves, my view is currently limited to my bedroom window. My “Room Without A View” as I’ve been calling it.

Rain actually makes me feel better mentally. I feel comforted when the world outside matches the bleakness of my insides. Where “muggles” dream of beach escapes, I hold in my heart a Walden worthy longing to escape to countryside cottages with wood burning stoves, mismatched mugs and cutlery, surrounded by woodlands and heaths. Give me the tumult of the Brontë sisters as opposed to suffocating heat any day.

All this preamble serves to bring me back to my original point; the rain. More specially I have had this song by the immensely talented Sia stuck in my head for days. The song is significant in it’s own right. But with a few tweaks, I think it is all the more meaningful to the chronically ill. I offer it up to you now in the hope that it helps to convey something of what our lived experience is like. And perhaps some of our shared fears about what life may not hold in stall for us all.

I hope you enjoy it. I send with it gentle hugs, comforting light, and quaint little spoons ✨

World, I want to be better

I want my life to matter

I am afraid I have no purpose here

I watch the news on TV

I am abandoned daily

I am afraid you don’t see the real me

And the rain it falls, rain it falls

Drowning the seeds of love and hope, love and hope

I don’t want to stay here, stuck in the weeds

I feel alone in all this

I’m not faking, I promise

Bed bound, I can’t do anything

I feel alone in all this

I’m really trying, I promise

I wish I had people standing together with me

Maybe then I could do anything

World, I want to be better

I want my life to matter

Without your help I have no purpose here

Have you the courage to change?

Change and see the real me

Please don’t leave me here, stuck in the weeds

Have the courage to change

Change the way you see me, today.

#ChronicIllness #Poetry #Sia #Doyouseemenow

#Rain #bedbound #thisismetrying #Spoonies

Maybe we will actually get some rain #sunrise ,#morning ,#Rain ,#Beauty ,
#chronic pain, #Sarcoidosis , #multiple health challenges,

It’s super rainy where I am right now but I’m actually enjoying every moment of it. I used to dread rainy days because they used to affect my mood so heavily. Now I look forward to the rain because I seem to be so much more productive when it’s dreary outside. My mind has been racing 1000 mph anyway because I’m manic so the “slow down” that the rain brings is much needed. I still look forward to the sunshine but I’m the meantime this rain is treating me so well. I sure do hope that everyone else is having a good day too.🙃 #Happiness #peace #BipolarDepression #Mania

#hopewriters #hopewriterlife #hwprompts #MightyPoets #Poetry #Summer #Life #freedom #earth #Rain #wind #Fire #Sun #Plants #intention #honor #Death #seed #Flowers

You don’t have to be positive. You don’t have to feel guilty about fear, sadness or anger. You don’t stop the rain by telling it to stop. Sometimes you just have to let it pour, let it soak you to your skin. It never rains forever. And know that, however wet you get, you are not the rain. You are not the bad feelings in your head. You are the person “experiencing” the storm. The storm may knock you off your feet, but you will stand again. Hold On. - Matt Haig

#thecomfortbook #MattHaig #Rain #HoldOn #encouragement #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Hope #HSP

been raining out. still don’t feel like talking with people or texting even.

It’s going to rain all week here. I’ve known it for a couple of weeks due to the way my pain level has risen.