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Goodbye 2020, you were a tough year
#Depression #COVID19 #shieldinguk
I know I am not the only person who has found 2020 a difficult year. Depression has circled around me like a vulture the whole time. Ever since March, when I was told to work from home, the lucky compromise to the letter I received from my country's chief medical officer which encouraged me to stay at home because I have a long term health condition. I am grateful that I have been able to work this year from my kitchen table, however, the isolation has been so difficult to manage.
I miss office tittle-tattle. The little stories of life's problems I was privileged to witness every day. I miss being the person to listen, offer a few words of comfort or humour, to be able to offer a cup of tea or coffee to get us all through the working day. As time has gone by I feel less and less connected to the people I had forged friendships with these last 9 years. I feel I am fading, the edges of me melting until I am transparent. Fleeting thoughts of despair flash through my mind as week by week my hold on to my carefully held positive mental attitude is loosened.
Without an end in sight to my isolated life, I am not sure how to keep going. The few Microsoft Teams meetings and Zoom catch ups are not enough, but I am grateful Covid-19 has happened at a time when it is possible to see loved ones faces via a screen. I crave more though. I miss being hugged.
When 2020 finishes in a couple of days I know life won't suddenly return to normal, but I will be glad to see the year finished.
I have hope that life will get better.
I have hope that I will see my parents again.
2021, you have a lot to offer us all.
