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Parenting Gets harder

When I take my Girl's Out, People are surprised to hear I'm a single father. Quite a few times I've been given a sympathetic look, got the kids today, huh? Or even worse, Dads weekend with this kid? Right, don't see a woman by me and assume I get weekend visitation.

No, moms not around anymore. One person asked me how she died! I just cant… Why do you… Never mind.

I've even been to parks, fairs, surrounded by moms, no dads in sight, and I get suspicious or pissed off looks. What did I do?

I've learned not to speak up, for the most part any comment I make to join in the Parent Talk is frowned upon. Occasionally a friendly mom will chat, but its about as common I get a strange look, or even an annoyed expression. I've been approached and asked which child is mine. Nope, none of course, just sitting here with my mirrored sunglasses on so I can lear at the moms. I only wish I could try that one, Give myself some rest and mental Care. #Parenting #GeneralParenting #singleparent #Migraine #Selfcare #MentalHealth

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Chest pain from emotions

Anyone else experience literal pain in their heart/ chest when feeling depressed, lethargic and alone? I’m feeling so sad I’ve had no energy for days. #Depression #Loneliness #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #singleparent

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Doing more than I ever thought I could

#Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #DishydroticEczema #Vestibulodynia #InterstitialCystitis #Depression #CPTSD #SocialAnxiety #ADHD #singleparent #Arthralgia
All of these hashtags create a picture that at times seems pretty bleak to me. But other times it makes me feel empowered because I realize that I kick @#$ in spite of it. Some days the picture doesn't look very pretty and other days I'm thinking that's some fine art. I put forth my best effort every day, and every day that looks different. I'm sending you all love and peace, and hoping wherever you are, that you don't allow your long list of diagnoses and labels to define you. Every challenge brings an opportunity. Hang in there. 🌻

5 comments
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Getting over someone

So I have a stupid question, and no one else to ask.. How do I get over someone I HAVE to stay inn contact with and be on good terms with? I realised about two years ago that I still have feelings for my daughters dad.. He doesn't have feelings for meg, which is okay. It just sucks that I still can't get over him.. It's been 9 years since we were a couple, and I still love him.. How the f**k do I get over him? We're good friends, who sometimes have sex (I know that needs to stop), and our kid loves that we get along so well and can do stygg together like having movienights, going out to dinner together etc.. I'm stuck.. I wanna move on, but I don't want to stop hanging out together because our kid enjoys ut som much.. so.. What do I do? #breakup #Coparenting #Parent #Parenting #singleparent #heartbreak

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Day 4 on my own, did I cross some imaginary line

So last Saturday I finally moved out of the house my wife and I lived in. We separated back in October and I finally was able to get a place of my own so Saturday I moved out.

So I had my 10 year old son for Saturday and Sunday. He went back to his mom on Monday. (I had my appointment with my therapist Monday night). That evening after my appointment a old friend messaged me and asked if I wanted to go for coffee. I said yes since I wasn’t in Dad duty that night.

When I saw her she gave me a big hug and we sat and talked for a couple hours. Just random stuff on how I was doing and how she has been. She gave me a hug good bye and we went are separate ways.

I woke up the next morning feeling totally ashamed, like I had crossed some line accepting a hug. My self hate went crazy and just mentally beat myself down.

Last night she messaged me and wanted me to know that her mom who she lives with tested positive for covid. She has no symptoms and her mom is on the mend but wanted to let me know.

So this morning I told my wife that I might have been exposed. And I might have passed it to my son Tuesday during the day. I have no symptoms but took a covid test and it came back negative. My son and wife and I are all fully vaccinated.And now my self hate is just going crazy again. Things like,

You made your son sick cause your selfish.
You crossed a line with that hug your evil
Your a Bad person.
You cheated on your spouse(incase you missed it we have been spectated since October)

I’m not sure why my head feels like I crossed the line. I didn’t go looking for something other then a friend to chat with. Maybe it was the hug. Maybe it’s cause I feel I don’t deserve human contact. Or maybe this is just normal after 15 years of marriage.

Either way I will self sooth my way through this. Just wish my head made sense sometimes.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#struggling
#singleparent
#CheckInWithMe

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Thoughts from my bed #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #singleparent

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia this week. After many years of ups and downs and millions of tests all showing sweet nothing. I suppose I expected to feel relieved (omg I'm NOT totally crazy!) And perhaps empowered. Instead I got diagnosed in the week or so before my period (and endo flare) where I get really emotional and down so I've just been left feeling a little bewildered, tearful, and overwhelmed. I'm having a terrible fibro flare at the moment, hence seeking medical advice once again, and I can't do much without my heart rate spiking to over 100 and feeling like I've run a marathon. My whole body is achey and everything hurts aaalll the time. I can't keep track of things. My tasks at home and work are piling up because I only seem able to get through half of what I need to - most of that half is work focused because I'm a single mom of twins (I never do anything half-arsed) and cannot lose my job. Doctor booked me off today and tomorrow and whilst i have barely been able to get out of bed, I feel guilty for taking off work again. Depressed because I feel like I'm not doing enough and have let people down. Anxious because my to-do list is growing and I don't know how long this flare will last. Frustrated because I didn't ask for this and I don't think outsiders understand the feeling of being trapped in a body that doesn't keep up with your spirit. And in general, wondering how the hell I'm going to navigate being a single parent of two, working a high pressure job, and managing a malfunctioning body...

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Single Parenting with Chronic Pain w/ very active and independent child

I have multiple Chronic Illnesses and Chronic Pain associated.

As the title suggests, I’m also a single parent . Well, divorced parents with custody and majority parenting time.

My child is young (under 10), independent and very active. I’m looking for ideas on how to help give him what he needs (physical activity) while still caring for and being self-aware of my own physical challenges and not “pushing through” thus creating more pain and fatigue.

This social distancing and quarantine BS isn’t helping anything. The pool use to be an option, but with COVID even that’s taken from us as a fun summer outing. We live in a condo... so we have an outdoor green space but it’s shared with others in the community so things like a slip & slide are a bit trickier.

Does anybody have ideas?! Please Help!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #singleparenting #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #hypermobileehlers-DanlosSyndrome(hEDS) #ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #heatintolerance #singleparent

3 comments
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2019

Dear Social Media Friends, Family, and Readers:

It seems as though many of us have had a rough year. I have read wishes to see the end of 2019 from people I was not expecting to express such trying times. I feel you.
I tried changing my tune this year. I didn’t get as involved with sociopolitical posts. I pushed the positive moments of my personal life forwards. I posted a lot of pictures that reflected happiness and fulfillment-like many of us do. As much as I want to say that they were true reflections of how wonderful my life has been in 2019, I can’t honestly say that it’s been some landmark year in manifestation. If anything, this has been one of the most stressful years of my life-including the years leading up to and over my divorce.
I dealt with everything from a two-year relationship fraught with struggle, major health issues for my youngest child and myself, a major car crash, crippling expenses as a result of all of the above, work-related concerns, the loss of a beloved pet, a wasp infestation, a major flood in my living room, on-again-off-again smoking, losing two former students and neighbors (15 & 16 years old) to gun violence in their home, and the mounting worries and frustrations of raising an angry tween, an ADHD tween, and a 7 year old who may be on the spectrum-to name a few of my issues. I walked away from the relationship head held high, finally walked the stage with my BA Magna Cum Laude (along with a handful of other academic awards and honors), and made a bunch of spectacular new friends, too! But, I feel the weight of the tasks still at hand more than the victories I’ve worked so hard to earn.
As a counselor and educator for teen boys involved with the juvenile justice system, I put on a smile everyday. I love my work sons, and show them how to forge ahead in a healthy way when it doesn’t feel as though it’s possible-because I know. But, at the end of the day, I feel broken by everything pushing me into a proverbial corner. I feel unloved and unloveable.
My children-my own, that is-have engendered attitudes that have triggered the same feelings of doubt and instability that their father instilled in me years ago. Over the past three days alone, my oldest stood on my neck while I was trying to say goodnight to her 10-year-old brother; the following night, my 10-year-old antagonized the rest of us for 12 hours because he didn’t get sushi for lunch; and today, my little became so frustrated at bowling that he had a meltdown that resulted in biting, kicking, hitting, and scratching me-leaving cuts all over my arms, neck, and scalp.
I am exhausted. I want this year to be over. But, I’m afraid that nothing will change next year-even with help in place. In the meantime, I will continue to post positive looking moments to look back on the good. I hope for everyone who has struggled this year fir a better 2020. Love to all💜 #struggle #singleparent #Anxiety #ADHD #DisruptiveImpulseControlAndConductDisorders

5 comments
Post

2019

Dear Social Media Friends, Family, and Readers:

It seems as though many of us have had a rough year. I have read wishes to see the end of 2019 from people I was not expecting to express such trying times. I feel you.
I tried changing my tune this year. I didn’t get as involved with sociopolitical posts. I pushed the positive moments of my personal life forwards. I posted a lot of pictures that reflected happiness and fulfillment-like many of us do. As much as I want to say that they were true reflections of how wonderful my life has been in 2019, I can’t honestly say that it’s been some landmark year in manifestation. If anything, this has been one of the most stressful years of my life-including the years leading up to and over my divorce.
I dealt with everything from a two-year relationship fraught with struggle, major health issues for my youngest child and myself, a major car crash, crippling expenses as a result of all of the above, work-related concerns, the loss of a beloved pet, a wasp infestation, a major flood in my living room, on-again-off-again smoking, losing two former students and neighbors (15 & 16 years old) to gun violence in their home, and the mounting worries and frustrations of raising an angry tween, an ADHD tween, and a 7 year old who may be on the spectrum-to name a few of my issues. I walked away from the relationship head held high, finally walked the stage with my BA Magna Cum Laude (along with a handful of other academic awards and honors), and made a bunch of spectacular new friends, too! But, I feel the weight of the tasks still at hand more than the victories I’ve worked so hard to earn.
As a counselor and educator for teen boys involved with the juvenile justice system, I put on a smile everyday. I love my work sons, and show them how to forge ahead in a healthy way when it doesn’t feel as though it’s possible-because I know. But, at the end of the day, I feel broken by everything pushing me into a proverbial corner. I feel unloved and unloveable.
My children-my own, that is-have engendered attitudes that have triggered the same feelings of doubt and instability that their father instilled in me years ago. Over the past three days alone, my oldest stood on my neck while I was trying to say goodnight to her 10-year-old brother; the following night, my 10-year-old antagonized the rest of us for 12 hours because he didn’t get sushi for lunch; and today, my little became so frustrated at bowling that he had a meltdown that resulted in biting, kicking, hitting, and scratching me-leaving cuts all over my arms, neck, and scalp.
I am exhausted. I want this year to be over. But, I’m afraid that nothing will change next year-even with help in place. In the meantime, I will continue to post positive looking moments to look back on the good. I hope for everyone who has struggled this year fir a better 2020. Love to all💜 #struggle #singleparent #Anxiety #ADHD #DisruptiveImpulseControlAndConductDisorders

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single teenage parent.

I’ve been a teen mom for almost 4 years. I got pregnant at 17 and had my son when I turned 18. I have had custody of my son for almost 4 years now, he was diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder just short of two years old. I have had him his whole life with no help or support. His birth dad just got out of jail a few months ago (we we’re together for 3 years then broke up before I found out I was pregnant) he now wants to be in my sons life. I’m glad he is passing his drug tests but he keeps breaking his probation, I still let my son see his dad although they have only seen each other a few times, I get jealous when people tell him how good of a job he’s doing...he is a drug addict in and out of jail only saw his son a few times (although he SWEARS he’s not his when we ALL know he is) but people always tell him he is such a good dad doing a great job yet he has only saw our son 5-6 times...I have had our autistic son almost 4 years all on my own now going on 22 years old...I feed him, changed him, soothed him all through out the screaming and sleepless nights, I can’t get a job because he needs 24/7 care so I am on assistance, very low income struggling to get by, I pay $90 cab fare to get to his speech and OT appointments, I’m sleep deprived but I make sure I get my son everything he needs and give him all my time in the world but NOBODY, NOT ONE person ever praises me, every asks me if I need a break (I’ve had no breaks in 4 years not once have I been away from my child) nobody thanks me, or tells me that I’m doing a good job...nobody asks me if I need help..I haven’t done drugs or been to jail and I have stepped up for my baby since day one when he couldn’t. why am I so bothered by this? do I have a right to be upset? am I blowing this out of proportion? am I maybe seeking attention? depressed? jealous? wrong for thinking this way? I truly hope I am not alone nor in the wrong...I know I shouldn’t care but I do...all my hard work has gone unnoticed and I’m left grieving with the consciences my ex failed to take, #Singlemom #singleparent #ASD #Autism #ADHD #Depression #TeenMom #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #alone #MentalHealth

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