Chasing Life

I’m Catholic but I also believe that we are spiritual beings. Recently I have been trying spiritual meditations. They have really opened my eyes and spirit as well as eased some of my mental health symptoms. It has also given me better sleep. There have been instances in my life where I lost sight of the good in people because I was shown the ugly side of humanity. I was sexually and emotionally abused for a long time.
Now however I want to heal and focus on the positive and see the good in people once again. Trusting takes time and it’s a little hard for me but I believe that I can heal. If I listen to my inner voice and angels that guide me and not listen to my inner critic then I will be on the path to healing.
I encourage everyone to try a spiritual meditation. Even if you aren’t sure. It has helped me to stay calm and to look at life objectively. I’m sure that the more I practice the closer I will get to healing. Slowly I am beginning to understand more of what I was put through. Slowly I am reaching a state of inner peace and calm. My hope is that all of you be a light in this dark world.
I am truly blessed to have what I have and I hope to never take it for granted. Though I live with three mental illnesses I know that I am strong enough to make it through each day. My past does not have to dictate my future. I am a radiant and loving woman that can be a light for others. If there is anything I can do to help you please inbox me. My goal is to share my trauma so that others can be inspired and feel less alone. Even on my bad days I hope to inspire. I wish you all the best and pray that you receive peace and light in your lives. For anyone that needs healing like myself I pray that you become healed. If anyone would like any prayers please let me know. You are all beautiful.
Love and light,
~Anastasia
#Spiritual #PTSD #Healing #Catholic #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Hope #ChasingLife

I’ve been MIA for what feels like months rather than days, but life has really been getting in my way lately. This has me thinking about how in terms of our mental health, intrusive thoughts get a lot of attention—but what of the grist of life that we cannot control just as easily? These are matters in which we can only control how we react to them, but in times of reduced physical capability, they can be quite overwhelming and difficult to deal with… and the world doesn’t make many accommodations for the sick.

In fact, I’ve found it to be quite the opposite. In that most people are more inclined to take advantage of my reduced capacity, than not. Family, friends, and foe alike.

If life is a battlefield; there aren’t many spare horses available to accommodate the wounded in the dailiness of living, so most of my friends and family have simply left me behind to fend for myself. So if nothing else, ableism has taught me that it is wears the same face as ageism, because our society has commodified people to the point that we are valued by how much energy we have to contribute, rather than the wisdom of experience we have to offer. I’ve also encountered a few illness groupies, who appear to delight in what I’ve come to think of as “sickness tourism” or “illness voyeurism.” It’s clear they aren’t so much there for me, so much as they show up for a taste of my drama, before moving on to the next crisis to feast on and nourish their saviour complexes.

And foes—well—being sick has given me a massive new enemy, given my healthcare system is less interested in helping me to get better, and more interested in telling me that I’m not gettting better because I AM the problem.

It also doesn’t help that my father passed away several years ago, and entrusted the care of his estate to a bank who have disregarded many of their fiduciary responsibilities so that after much effort on my part: I discovered that they committed a series of breaches, which I have had to escalate to the appropriate ombudsman. And as the oldest sibling, the fight for justice falls mostly on me. It is also bitter pill, because I’m certain this has contributed much to my poor health, yet I also need the money to spend on private healthcare.

And like most, I have a partner, a house, and pets that need caring for, but I have no support system. My other half and I support each other; but it doesn’t alter the fact that some of these responsibilities would be difficult for any person to juggle. Never mind that I’m also trying to fight for my health, my inheritance, run a business, maintain boundaries with all the narcissists I have had to spend a great deal of time and effort to understand that I naturally attract, maintain my sense of self, and somehow try to emerge from all this whole.

Spoiler: I probably won’t. But I try to remind myself that I would rather come out the other side of the hand I’ve been dealt with a few bruises, than to never have tried at all. Or worse; to have attempted to rely on others to play for me—because that game is a guaranteed losing hand.

#MentalHealth #IntrusiveThoughts #ChasingLife #LifeLessons #TheDisabledLife #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Thoughts #MyCondition #ChronicIllness

Confidence is the preference for Scampy McScampface, a habitual voyeur of what is known as—Scamp Life!

After Scamp has been rudely awakened he gets some exercise (in the country). At around 2pm, upon their return, Scamp and Little Brofur have their treats. Then, with full bellies they have their naps. So far, so good, cause I like to nap around then too. It gives me an enermous sense of well-being, know what I mean?

However…

A certain Scamp decides anywhere between 2-3pm onwards that he is feeling more awake; ergo it must dinner time—which unfortunately for him; is 4pm sharp. Thus begins “The Dance of The Scampy McScampface”… only far less sugar plum fairy like, and a bit more hippo 🦛

Scamp starts off his dance in first position; which is to vigorously wag his tail at me while making engaging huffy noises. Second position involves rubbing himself up against my legs that go hand-in-hand with snorts and borks; ad libbed at his descretion. My job is to be a Tender participant in this elaborate jouer à joue which is the Duke’s ritualist way of conveying “I am awake; therefore I eat” (incidentally he is also a big fan of the pork life 😋)

It all culminates in a pas de burrées of sorts with him launching himself into my lap, then looking up at me with his Scampy McScampFace full hope, of which I managed to catch a non Blur-ry picture today.

I’m also pleased to confirm that Scampy McScampFace ate his dinner so he’s far less of a Beetlebum… for the next few hours at least 😆

#Dogs #MightyPets #DistractMe #Laugh #funny #Fun #LifelimitingIllness #ChasingLife #TheDisabledLife #WhatWeLoveMostAboutLife #scamplife #MightyMusic #Music #Blur #Sleep #SleepDisorders #Insomnia

If you can never truly let go of what’s already done, then you aren’t allowing yourself to have a better present or a better future. What we deserve and truly desire in this life is true happiness. To truly be happy is to accept where you are at the time being, and believing that the choices or mistakes you made were made for a reason. For the years that I allowed myself to live in misery because I was stuck in the past, I truly look back on now and wonder why I wasted all that time. When I finally let go of the past, was the exact moment I felt life gave me another chance. One of the easiest yet hardest concepts to grasp I finally learned. For all the years I kept walking through the same cycle, the same old doors stayed open. When I finally learned to let go and accept my circumstances and situations for what it was, the new doors were finally opened to things and people I never imagined possible.
#Goodmorning #future #Present #Inspiration #Selfcare #ChasingLife #Happiness

Well holy moly, it’s been a year since I’ve posted anything on this app. So, let me reintroduce myself…Hi again! My name is Emily. I’m now twenty seven years old and like many, I still struggle with depression, anxiety and other parts of the emotional rollercoaster called LIFE.

I feel over the past year, parts of me have gotten better at dealing with my highs and lows. I don’t feel I dip as low as I used to or hit high peaks as often as I once did either. I find I’m starting to manage being in the middle of it all. Which I guess is good? I’ve spent many years chasing a happiness that I thought every person had to constantly be. But that’s not how life is. I’ve found people who seem overly happy-go-lucky all the time really annoy me.. because it’s so far from any type of real. At least in my opinion. But atlas, here I am. Im learning to be okay with not being okay some days and also accepting just being. Now don’t get me wrong, some days can be significantly more difficult than others..but, overall I feel more at peace with myself than I have in forever. That may also be due to the fact that im getting older. Whatever the case, im happy to just be and to understand that it’s okay to be just as I am. Im not an overly happy person, but im also not as sad and gloomy as I once was. Im just here. Going through the motions. Trying to live and “adult” as we all do. Yea, I do have happy moments and times, but that doesn’t have to be always. And that’s completely okay. Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I’ll make more of an effort to post more again. #ChasingLife #Adulting #Anxiety #MoodDisorders #DepressionIsABitch #Cheers

I'm 24 and this post really describes what I feel. Does anyone else get that too?