emotional abuse

I know many people have experienced this. Some of us experience it more than once. Betrayal, unfortunately, is common. But its frequency, its commonality, never makes it easier for the individuals going through it.

However, I feel betrayed and deceived. I’m not sure which one feels worse. The one that is just the other person’s doing, or the one that involves myself not “picking up on the signs.” I’m very angry at the other person. But I’m disappointed in myself. And we know what’s often said about disappointment, it’s worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m intensely disappointed in the other person. But the disappointment in myself hits differently, even if it’s technically not as intense.

I will be…I mean, I am being gentle with myself. I know the advice. I know it’s not my fault. I can forgive myself for what I didn’t know; for not having the tools or ability yet to prevent what happened. I was naive, which isn’t a “sin.” It’s just a state most of spend some time in early on in our lives. (Unfortunately, sometimes it comes with great consequences. So maybe I should just be mad at the “universe,” or “fate,” or something.)

I will be okay. I will heal eventually. I will end up with more peace of mind than I’ve experienced probably since birth, and have always desperately wanted. I greatly look forward to that. And, at this point in my life and development, I will know how to keep it.

——————————
(Suddenly, I am finding more of MY words again)

#artastherapy #Writing #expression #Relationships #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #CPTSD #Grief #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #Healing

“Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
….It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you.”
~~~~~~~
“A heart can break a thousand times
No hands can take what’s ours”
No hands can take what’s inside
~~~~~~~
“You took my light, you drained me down
But that was then and this is now…
This is the part of me that you’re never ever gonna take away from me…
Throw your sticks and your stones Throw your bombs and your blows
But you’re not gonna break my soul
…You will never put me out again.”
~~~~~~~
“The same tricks that,
that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
…Now I can fend for myself…
The friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept
that the change is good…
You treat me just like another stranger…
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out”
~~~~~~~
“Would I be that monster,
scare them all away,
if I let them hear what I have to say…
I can’t keep quiet
for anyone,
not anymore…
They may see that monster
They may run away
But I have to do this…
I can’t keep quiet
A one woman riot”
~~~~~~~
“Never forget who you are”

(Various lyrics from several different songs)

#artastherapy #Lyrics #Music #CPTSD #Relationships #Trauma #EmotionalAbuse #Grief #Healing

Here I am
Sensitive, with a sense of confidence
I survived, made it through the worst of it
Can't heal unless it hurts a bit

Here I go
Day by day, the world it gets more colorful
Learnin' that the broken road is beautiful
The more I learn to let you go
The more I see the

Wild parts I never met
The way that I built you up in my head
And you weren't easy to love, just hard to forget
But I'm gettin' close, now I know

The bеst part of losin' you
Was findin' I could make it through
When you left mе on the dark side of the moon
The best part, best part
Is even though a heart can break
I'm startin' over, that's ok
Found a side of me I never even knew
That's the best part of losin' you…

Here I am
This is what it feels like to begin again
Bittersweet, but better off, I take it in
Forgive it all, but don't forget
Don't forget the

Wild parts I never met
The way that I built you up in my head
And you weren't easy to love, just hard to forget
But I'm gettin' through, now I know

The best part of losin' you
Was findin' I could make it through
When you left me on the dark side of the moon
The best part, best part is
Even though a heart can break
I'm startin' over, that's ok
Found a side of me I never even knew
That's the best part of losin' you…

You were a wildfire
You burned it all away
I might have lost myself, but I
Found flowers in your place

The best part of losin' you
Was findin' I can make it through
When you left me on the dark side of the moon
Oh, the best part, best part is
Even though a heart can break
I'm startin' over, that's ok
Found a side of me I never even knew
That's the best part of losin' you
…

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #Relationships #Trauma #EmotionalAbuse #CPTSD #Grief