emotional abuse

“Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts…
I'm through accepting limits ‘cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but, til I try, I'll never know. Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost…Everyone deserves the chance to fly. And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free…”

“Don’t try to take this from me…Feels like I’m waking from the dead…I thought we could brave it all. I never thought that what would take me out was hiding down below. Lost the battle, win the war. Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore…starting over. There’s a time and a place to die, but this ain’t it. If there’s a future, [I] want it…[I] have some memories…they will remind me not to make the same mistakes again…”

“It got progressively harder to miss you…”

“[you say this is love]…but I’m still gone…I’ve got to make my peace. I’ve got to move on…[I had to wake up. I’ve] got the right to choose….[I’ve] got the right to choose. Real love, I wanna feel…real love. True love,…I wanna know what it means to really be loved “

“Reborn and shivering. Spat out on new terrain. Unsure, unconvincing, this faint and shaky hour. Day one, day one, start over again. Step one, step one, I am barely making sense, for now. I'm faking it 'til I'm pseudo making it…from scratch, begin again, but this time I as I. And not as We. Gun shy and quivering. Timid, without a hand. Feign brave with steel intent…Day one, day one, start over again. Step one, step one, with not much making sense, just yet. I'm faking it 'til I'm pseudo making it…from scratch. Begin again, but this time I as I, and not as We…”

“All the lonely shadow dances…It’s a solo song…only for the brave.”

“She was wise, full of magic and light. You could see it in her eyes….I saw it in her eyes”

“No need to hide little morning bird. You’re grown now. It’s safe now for your return…Bring all of you, broken pieces [too]…What you’re seeking’s been inside of you…don’t you change your tune. Show us the world from your own point of view. The more that you sing out the better we’ll be. Color us brighter with what you have seen…Bring all of you. What you’re seeking’s been inside of you…”

“There is a light at the end of the tunnel…’Cause now I know…there is a light inside of me. There was a shadow of a doubt but, baby, it’s never going out. There is a light inside of me”
~~~
“Just because you’re sad or grieving doesn’t mean you’re not grateful. And it doesn’t mean you’re not hopeful. Sadness is the soul’s way of saying, ‘This mattered.’ “

“If something so impossibly catastrophic and unimaginably awful can happen, then doesn’t it also mean that something impossibly beautiful and impossibly redemptive can happen?”

“I can’t say what will happen. But I can tell…[and] show [myself] what is possible”

#Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #manipulation #Grief

“All these changes feel like death. Yet my heart’s still pounding in my chest.”

“…all of his wounds ain’t an excuse for you to put up with how he treats you. You’re gonna give it all and give it all, but you won’t get it back…He wants your shimmer to make him feel bigger, until he starts feeling insecure…”

“…it’s an easy game to play, until we lose ourselves…[the bad habits of one become] the secondhand smoke of the other…say goodbye...He’s just another one takin’ and another one makin’ you cry…you’ve got another thing comin’ if you think he’s gonna change this time…”

“…I know there’s no peace in that. I can tell myself 1000 times…that maybe I just couldn’t see that there ain’t nothing wrong with us at all. But you keep playing games with me…[and] you break and you take and you tear me down…you say there’s nothing wrong, and I long to take you at your word…but everything with you is trying and I don’t wanna keep on crying…I’m the only one…I’ve been telling everyone I’m fine, but I feel like I’ve lost my mind…”
“I know I should trust my gut…I hate the way you break and you take and you tear me down”

“Everything’s alive and wild and dying. There’s beauty in the sweat, the blood and the crying. I played house for a while and I got lost in the trying…since I was a child I’ve been fighting. I am an animal. Wild, undeniable. A miracle, a mess; ethereal, blood and flesh…Our stories and plans are so defining. The future and the past are both bad timing…the leaves are changing reminding me that I am an animal. My wild’s undeniable…My body is soft, but all teeth can cut. The animal is in all of us…”

“Just ‘cause you can’t beat them don’t mean You should join them”

“…I’m sick of suckin’ in, just to let you win and make you feel big…I’m sick of helping out, just for the chance to give and take it on the chin. And I’m sick of wearin’ down, so I can crash when I finally wear out.”

“There is no good reason
I should have to be so alone
I'm smothered by this emptiness
Lord, I wish I was made of stone
Like a fool, I lent my soul to love
And it paid me back in change…Now my sense of humor needs a break
I see a shadow in the mirror
And she's laughin' through her tears
One more smile's all I can fake. There is a wound inside me and it’s bleeding like a flood. There’s times when I see a light ahead but hope is not enough
And another night surrounds me and it pounds me like a wave.”

“You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend that you are.
You made it sting,
Your voice is ringing,…You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend anymore.
You found a place no one should ever go…”

“Sayin’ I don’t know would be like sayin’ that the sky ain’t blue…You can have your space….I ain’t gonna fence you in…‘Cause I know my place, and it ain’t with you. Sunsets fade and love does too. Though we had our day in the sun, when a horse wants to run, ain’t no sense in closing the gate. You can have your space…you can have your space…”

“You can’t get what you want from me. And I can’t get what I need from you.”

“…the landslide brought me down…what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tide? Can I handle the seasons of my life?…I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder…and I’m getting older…”

“All these changes feel like death. Yet my heart’s still pounding in my chest…all these changes won’t kill me…metamorphosis. Give it a little more time…Been through pain…I find strength in the faith of letting go…Give it a little more time…a little more time…Change this big feels like death, but I believe it’s for the best…”

#Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #manipulation #PsychologicalAbuse #Grief

Hi, I'm bells_. I'm here because I believe I have been emotionally abused my whole life, but no one in my family wants to acknowledge it. I feel exhausted and alone and am stuck in a house where the people who hurt me act like nothing happened. Has anyone else gone through this?
#CPTSD #EmotionalAbuse #Childhoodtrauma #MightyTogether

Hi, my name is CuteOctopus. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Grief #Trauma #PTSD #EmotionalAbuse

Does anyone else ever feel like mental illness has taken over their lives? My mental illness has impacted the way I form or don’t form friendships, my ability to work (I’ve been out of work the whole year for the first time in my life), and my overall well being. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ok. I’m angry and lonely but people have always shown me that they’re not worth it. It’s sad but people have always made things worse in my life #Trauma which is why I prefer solitude but then there are moments where I too want to be held or cuddled at least. Where I want to be listened to. Where I want to be seen and loved. As someone who has never really grown up experiencing appropriate affection, I crave it quite a bit. I just want to cry. #EmotionalAbuse #neglect #PTSD