itsokaytonotbeokay

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    My therapist is too good at her job lol

    I had a bit of a rough session on Monday and afterward I sent my theraapist a follow-up email explaining that there were some things I hadn't told her about and also that I don't really want to talk about them, I just wanted to explain that those things likely had an impack on why I reacted the way I did. But because I'm me I added at the end of my email "I really want to add that I'm fine, somehow I feel like you probably won't believe/agree with that. But like really I'm fine:) " AND THIS LADY responded with "I know you are "fine." AND it sounds like there are other feelings you have too that maybe we can talk through next session?"

    Like ma'am, why is fine IN QUOTATION MARKS?! That's just rude 😂 Has my world completely changed in the last month? Yes. Am I overwhlemed and occassionally very passively suicidal? Yes. Have I had multiple selfharm relapses recently? Also yes. But those are all totally besides the point. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is FINE. She doesn't seem convienced tho and I'm offended (said scarstically).

    Like why do we have to go and bring emotions into the conversation? Those things can get stuffed into a box and shoved in a corner where they belong.

    #Therapy #dbttherapist #DBT #Emotions #ImFine #SuicidalIdeation #Selfharm #relaspe #College #almostfinals #itsokaytonotbeokay #butnotmetho #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD

    4 comments
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    Guilt.

    I can not do today. I have been struggling for weeks, but I keep pushing and shoving myself to keep going. I know the signs that I'm hurting, but "I'm doing so much better now" so I don't feel like I'm allowed to go backwards...I can't stay in bed anymore. I have come too far. I called out of work today because I literally couldn't pull myself out of bed. I can. I know I can, but today was too much. My head hurts from medication withdrawal because my shipment from the pharmacy is delayed and the migraine is making me feel sick. I feel hopeless and defeated, but still feel overwhelming guilty for taking time from work to try to take care of myself... if I had a stomach bug or the flu I wouldn't feel like this...my boss never answered me. Never responded. Now I'm terrified for my job on top of it and I feel guilty, but still can't get out of bed.

    #MentalHealthisHealth
    #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #PTSD
    #mentalhealthmatters
    #StopTheStigma
    #SuicidePrevention
    #itsokaytonotbeokay

    1 comment
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    I’m glad you woke up today! You’re so valuable and unique. #Suicide #Depression #CPTSD

    We have it hard, constantly battling our minds. But with each breath, we’re winning against our personal demons. I’m proud of you. Keep up the fight. #itsokaytonotbeokay

    12 comments
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    Here I go again.

    here we go again
    another episode.
    screaming loudly because rage
    look how stupid you look.
    Your insane
    Your crazy.
    Your an idiot.
    Stop screaming already.
    Everything is your fault because of the way you are.
    suddenly self harms.
    see don't you feel better
    Because you know your a big piece of shit.
    Show the world your crazy.
    Show the world your no good
    Just leave already.
    okay…
    goes numb.
    Rage subsides.
    Depression and suicidal thoughts begin.
    youll never do anything with your life, you know that
    Your useless
    Your worthless
    Your going to end up alone anyways
    Everyone will abandon you.
    no they won't
    oh yes they will.
    They can't stand you.
    They always talk about you
    Nobody truly loves you.
    yes they Do.
    Tears streaming down.
    listen to yourself. You have hope?
    Fuck your hope.
    I will destroy every ounce of hope you have.
    why are you like this.
    im your mental illness.
    Ill never go away.
    I'm here to ruin you.
    Ruin your relationships.
    Ruin your life
    Take your life
    i will fight till the end.
    To wake up and know I'll be okay everyday.
    With or without you.
    I have to fight you everyday.
    That's okay.
    We all struggle with something.
    You are not alone.
    That horrible voice in your head…
    Don't let it win.
    You are worth it.
    You are priceless
    You are not alone.
    You get one life,
    Live it. Fight for it. Love it.

    #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPDepisode #Poetry #MightyPoets #itsokaytonotbeokay #StayStrong

    Post

    ...... when ???

    I am so fed up of hearing myself explaining or talking about what I'm feeling or going through , im sick of it ,
    So surely everyone else must be sick of it too?
    So surely It's better to just say im ok or fine than the truth ??
    Surely they don't care or want to hear it all?
    I mean they can't actually help ??

    I am so fed up of all these thoughts and feelings ontop of my usual daily crap I have to endure....
    Its extremely hard to realise each day is a blessing when all I am feeling is hurt alone, and frustrated!

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #Endometriosis #BipolarDepression #alone #itsokaytonotbeokay
    #Talk #Bekind #InsideTheMighty #Insomnia

    9 comments
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    What helps you with Intrusive/Recurring Thoughts?

    youtu.be/dlGr4g3Qt4Q

    Mental Health Tip: Mindful Thought - Plane Intrusive Thought?

    Imagine that your mind is the sky and your thought, feeling, sensation, or emotion in that moment — is a plane.

    Notice each plane when it passes, let it fly by. Focus on what’s ahead of you. Watch each plane without chasing it’s direction, let it drift out of your head...
    .
    .
    #dbtocd #dbtskills #dbttherapy #dialectalbehavioraltherapy #itsokaytonotbeokay
    #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #IntrusiveThoughts

    2 comments
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    Nuerodivergent and Borderline Positive! What self qualities are you proud of?

    #BpdPositive and #proud !#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder is often be seen negatively as one of the most painfully difficult disorders to overcome, but I want to #Breakthecycle and end the #NegativeThinking #Stigma and #BorderlineStigma !

    I love my ability to genuinely and sincerely empathize with others. I appreciate my artistic skills, creativity, insight, passion, and profound positivity! I am loyal and love fiercely. With radical honesty, I am an open book and deeply caring friend to others.

    What are some positive traits about yourself in light of your #Neurodiversity ?

    #Proudofmyself #proud #Positivity #positive #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPDDiagnosis #Anxiety #AnxietyTips #ITSOKAYTOTALK #itsokaytonotbeokay #therapyiscool #Depression #MentalHealth #mentalhealthconfession #Selflove #Selfcare #Share #shareyourstory #destigma

    23 comments
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    No motivation #itsokaytonotbeokay

    Today I am just in one of those can’t be bothered, no motivation days where I’m tired and I still have my #Headache from this morning. I’m just in the mood to curl up and sleep. I’m meant to go on the treadmill today but I just don’t have the energy. #Drained #CheckInWithMe

    1 comment
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    In what ways do you remind yourself that it's okay to not be okay? #ItsOKMan #itsokaytonotbeokay

    3 comments