For over a decade I was on
15 patches of fentanyl 50 mg
180 Dilaudid 8mg
30 Bromazepam 6mg at bedtime
60 Diazepam 10mg
Every month on a continuous basis for over 10 years
Prior to that I was on different types of pain medications ever since I had a bike accident when I was in my teens when I cracked a vertebrae and twisted my back.
I suppose over the years I did not realize how high of a dose I was getting used to. My doctor however did everything he could for me. He sent me to specialists, pain clinics and Saint Joseph’s Hospital in Toronto to the addictions centre to confirm whether I was addicted or dependent on opioids. They confirmed that because I never abused my medications and only used them for pain, I was determined not to be addicted however dependent on opiates and benzodiazepines. The opiates for pain and the benzodiazepines for muscle spasms and sleeping at night. I was living a successful and happy life, able to function properly during the day and get proper sleep at night. The sky was the limit. I was happy, content and believe that I could’ve lived the rest of my life like that as my mother did. She also had a dependency on the same types of medications and I had no issues because she never abused them. My mother had suffered a severe car accident when she was young and the doctors did not think she would survive as she broke many of her ribs and had several broken bones. It was a miracle. Otherwise healthy, she recently died peacefully in a hospital at a ripe old age of 94 years old
At the end of 2019, my family physician was reprimanded by the College of Physicians and surgeons of Ontario and stopped working at the clinic in Toronto, Ontario, Canada that I was going to for over 10 years
That clinic no longer had a family physician as they were waiting for a doctor from the U.S. and therefore could not refill any of the prescriptions I was taking. They remained a walk-in clinic only.
I ended up in an addiction walk-in clinic and forced to take Suboxone. Did I have a choice? It was that or buy drugs illegally.
The main problem is, Suboxone is meant to treat addiction and not for long-term pain management. I have been on Suboxone since January 2020. It DOES NOT HELP WITH MY PAIN. It only gets me to fall asleep, temporarily.
All night every night, I wake up with pain between 10 and 20 minutes apart. I cannot get a proper night sleep. I end up crawling out of bed at 3 or 4PM on average. By the time I wake up and have my coffee, offices that I need to call ie. to find a new doctor are closed. So I am unable to get anything done. I feel 100% useless, helpless & HOPELESS.
I cannot live like this!!
Has Anyone else experienced this type of thing?
Taken off high doses of both Opioids and Benzodiazepines at the same time?
#withdrawal #coldturkey #opioiddependence #opioidaddiction #opioidstigma #opioidusedisorder #fentanyl #dilaudid #benzodiazepines #benzos #opioidcrisis #overdose