Hair-pulling Disorder

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Hair-pulling Disorder
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    Light at the end of the tunnel.
    #Anxiety #Depression #SocialAnxiety #ptsd #CPTSD

    I haven’t been on here as much as I would like to be these days. Work kept me super busy to the point of complete exhaustion but thankfully it’s a job that I like to do. I’ve also been experiencing unbearable mental and emotional pain which is making me more exhausted. It’s actually led me to have several hair pulling (aka trichotillomania) relapses.

    On a positive note, I did see a new psychiatrist the other day. I didn’t realize that I needed to make that change until now. Before that appointment I got so
    burnt out to the point where i didn’t want to try anymore because of how much disappointment, hurt, and pain I was feeling.

    I’m still going through a lot right now but things are starting to look hopeful again.

    #emotionalabusesurvivor #mentalexhaustion #emotionalexhaustion #trichotillomania #hairpullingdisorder #Christian

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Weird Rituals I Do With Trichotillomania

    Trichotillomania has me do weird rituals with my hair-pulling. One thing I do is hoard my hair into clumps and then pull them apart, feeling the coarse texture then put it in the trash to then do the same thing but find it on my floor or dig up my trash can. I don’t know how many people have rituals like this with Trichotillomania, but I wanted to share to hopefully feel less alone.
    #Trichotillomania #HairpullingDisorder #BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Does anyone with BPD (#borderlinepersonality ) pull their hair? What do you do to self soothe? Also, my first post ☺️👋🇨🇦 (#Trichotillomania )

    Hi everyone,

    This is my first post, I just joined The Mighty yesterday and am amazed at the community!! great app idea! ☺️

    Anyway, I am not formally diagnosed with BPD but I consulted with a psychologist here in Toronto, Canada 🇨🇦 (#toronto) and he said that I have so many of the symptoms, he suggested I consult with a specialist in this area. It was actually me who discovered this personality disorder and suggested he assist me with this and he said it sounds like I may have it. Both my husband and I are convinced I have it, as soo many of the symptoms ring true, I think I have 7/9. I don’t have the compulsive/addictive symptoms (ie. I don’t have any alcohol/drug/gambling/shopping/sex or other addictions) or self harm ones, however. That said, the psychologist said I need someone more specialized. I’m learning there’s very few psychologists with the training in BPD so I’ve been put on 2 waitlists and just doing DBT myself with my own reading.

    I actually am very high functioning as a successful professional👩‍💼 in my mid 30s. I’m married 👰🏻‍♀️, and did well socially in any superficial setting. I did well in school politics for this reason. However, any deeper form of friendship has been an immense struggle as my black and white thinking, extreme over reactions/freak outs and obsessive thoughts can cause issues. I also don’t connect well with people easily... I just attribute this to a rare personality type and introversion (I’m an INFJ if anyone knows Myer Briggs personality types, that’s the rarest ‘type’ unfortunately!) It’s possible I’m on the asperger spectrum as well but very mild if so, it was more an issue as a child. I’ve dealt with a lot growing up but somehow managed to do well academically and professionally with a lot of motivation and hard work.

    **Ok my main question is:**

    I have trichotillomania which is a hair pulling disorder (#Trichotillomania ) Does anyone else struggle with this? This, to me, isn’t self harm because it doesn’t hurt at all and is just a way to self soothe. I often pull my hair out when stressed but it is an impulsive control disorder technically because I pull my hair out anytime, when watching TV, I can’t stop. It’s like an OCD. There’s no medication or cure for it though.
    I also use lip balm and hand cream a lot, almost obsessively, I’m not sure if this is related. It helps me self soothe but I also always feel like my skin is dry and there is a history of arthritis in my family so it could be related to this. What do you do to “self soothe” if not?

    Just curious about other’s experiences... hope to see everyone around ☺️ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trichotillomania #infj

    9 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Does anyone with BPD (#borderlinepersonality ) pull their hair (#Trichotillomania )? Also, this is my first post ☺️🇨🇦👋

    Hi everyone,

    This is my first post, I just joined The Mighty yesterday and am amazed at the community!! great app idea! ☺️

    Anyway, I am not formally diagnosed with BPD but I consulted with a psychologist here in Toronto, Canada 🇨🇦 (#toronto) and he said that I have so many of the symptoms, he suggested I consult with a specialist in this area. It was actually me who discovered this personality disorder and suggested he assist me with this and he said it sounds like I may have it. Both my husband and I are convinced I have it, as soo many of the symptoms ring true, I think I have 7/9. I don’t have the compulsive/addictive symptoms (ie. I don’t have any alcohol/drug/gambling/shopping/sex or other addictions) or self harm ones, however. That said, the psychologist said I need someone more specialized. I’m learning there’s very few psychologists with the training in BPD so I’ve been put on 2 waitlists and just doing DBT myself with my own reading.

    I actually am very high functioning as a successful professional👩‍💼 in my mid 30s. I’m married 👰🏻‍♀️, and did well socially in any superficial setting. I did well in school politics for this reason. However, any deeper form of friendship has been an immense struggle as my black and white thinking, extreme over reactions/freak outs and obsessive thoughts can cause issues. I also don’t connect well with people easily... I just attribute this to a rare personality type and introversion (I’m an INFJ if anyone knows Myer Briggs personality types, that’s the rarest ‘type’ unfortunately!) It’s possible I’m on the asperger spectrum as well but very mild if so, it was more an issue as a child. I’ve dealt with a lot growing up but somehow managed to do well academically and professionally with a lot of motivation and hard work.

    **Ok my main question is:**

    I have trichotillomania which is a hair pulling disorder (#Trichotillomania ) Does anyone else struggle with this? This, to me, isn’t self harm because it doesn’t hurt at all and is just a way to self soothe. I often pull my hair out when stressed but it is an impulsive control disorder technically because I pull my hair out anytime, when watching TV, I can’t stop. It’s like an OCD. There’s no medication or cure for it though.
    I also use lip balm and hand cream a lot, almost obsessively, I’m not sure if this is related. It helps me self soothe but I also always feel like my skin is dry and there is a history of arthritis in my family so it could be related to this. What do you do to “self soothe” if not?

    Just curious about other’s experiences... hope to see everyone around ☺️ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trichotillomania #infj

    3 people are talking about this

    Acknowledging My Trichotillomania Helped Me Heal

    Living with trichotillomania, like many mental health conditions, can be oh so very isolating. As much as I wanted to share my experience as a child pulling out my hair at the young age of 12, I was prevented from doing so because of fear. I feared people would think I was weird and wrong for doing this damage to myself. I feared being judged. I feared being seen as losing control. So I kept quiet. But what I really wanted to share back then was that my dad was sick with cancer and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I wanted to share the pain I was going through in losing him. But, it was the 90s, I was just a kid, and we as a society weren’t as open about our lives back then. So, I didn’t talk about my dad’s sickness. Not with teachers, not with friends, not with my mom, not with my sister. By holding it all in, by pushing the pain down, I wound up getting sick too, as I turned to compulsive hair pulling as a way to cope with the stress of it all. Over the next 20 plus years, pulling out my eyebrow hairs and eyelashes became my go to soothing mechanism for stress, anxiety, even boredom. I spent countless hours each day covering up the pulling from the night before with a black eye pencil. I even learned to balance the pulling — a little from the left, a little from the right, to make it harder for others to notice something was missing. I had gotten so good at hiding that it got to a point where even I couldn’t see what was happening. Then, a few years ago, my husband caught me without eyebrows. Yes, even the man I promised to share my life — in sickness and in health — had no idea about my mental health condition. Years of practice in concealing it will do that! And that is when I realized, “secrets make us sick.” That sentiment rocked my world and changed my life. I had spent so much time and energy hiding in fear. The secret of hair pulling was creating a vicious cycle of negative self speak and more pulling. It was baggage I carried for decades, impacting every decision from education to career to social circles. Feeling like I couldn’t tell anyone made life harder and more lonely despite being surrounded by loving friends and family. In more detail, here are three ways my trichotillomania secret made me sick: 1. Hiding From Myself By hiding it from others I had to learn to ignore and deny the behavior from myself. The irony is this feeling of being ignored and invisible in elementary school was another trigger for my hair pulling. In hiding from myself, I almost felt invisible — this idea of “If I can’t see my face, it’s not there…and others can’t see it too.” So I avoided mirrors,  and in time I learned to avoid seeing myself and being seen. I still remember in elementary school chorus, at the Nth hour begging the chorus teacher to switch a singing solo with a friend’s speaking part. I didn’t want attention on me. Later I realized social anxiety and selective mutism may have played a role too. I imbibed a chaotic mental health cocktail and didn’t even know it. This lack of knowledge cloaked and prevented my healing. 2. Negative Self-Speak “They” say “you are your own worst enemy” and “you are your biggest critic.” I hope its not the case for you, dear reader, but for me it most definitely was. I treated myself like garbage. In my late 30s, I am now just trying to unlearn the language. If I had done something wrong as a child, I didn’t need to be berated by my parents, because I did the yelling at myself in my own mind: “how could you be so stupid?” or “what is wrong with you?” And that was just little things, like spilling milk accidentally. When it came to my hair pulling, my inner voice was even more of a bully: “you’re so ugly. Why are you doing this? You are never going to find love looking like that…”This negative chatter lead to low self confidence and impacted many decisions — mostly around quitting things — from saxophone and basketball (“you’ll never be good enough?”) to friends (“why do you think they even like you?) to creative arts activities (“you aren’t creative.”) Each strand of hair pulled from age to 12 to age 32 was a blow to my psyche, making the act of seeking help intolerable. 3. Time and Energy Waste When I was pulling, I would spend anywhere from a few minutes to a whole hour locked in a bathroom. To hide the pulling, it only took a few minutes — and a few strokes — of a black eye pencil. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the time spent outside of that which became more of a waste — constantly wondering if people were looking me in the eye, not because I had something important to say, but if they were trying to figure out that my lack of eyelashes was the reason I didn’t look right. It was those hours in class or work meetings where my inner voice would trail off and lose focus. Despite all the pain endured, I hid my hair pulling disorder because I didn’t know there were other options. After being caught, I had someone to talk to, someone who cared enough to try and understand — and support me. I realized that not only the hair pulling behavior, but also the act of concealing the pulling was preventing my healing. Acknowledging that my hair pulling secret was making me sick changed my life. With my husband supporting me, I found a path to healing and recovery. I now work to encourage others to do the same as the founder of a mental health tech company and by advocating awareness of trichotillomania and body-focused repetitive behavior in the mainstream. Once I accepted this chronic condition as something to manage rather than to stop or hide, I dropped the baggage of my secret and learned I could take control and overcome trichotillomania. It’s not easy to look inward and really try to see what is going on. But if you have the time and energy, I highly recommend looking at how you can go from concealing to healing, because “secrets make us sick.”

    Community Voices

    Is knotting and pulling my own hair self harm? I don't think it is, just a nervous habit. #Hairpulling

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Skin-Picking/Hair-Pulling/OCD

    I just read and saw the pictures for the Depression page that keeps popping up and I wanted to share my story in the hopes it may help even one person.

    Shortly after my son was born, I developed cystic acne and I started picking at my skin. There were days I just couldn’t stop. This went on for years. I remember sitting in front of my mirror balling my eyes out on my 40th birthday because I just couldn’t stop. FYI: Skin-picking and hair-pulling are in the same category, so what works for one, should work for the other. Not sure about OCD, but it’s something you may consider.

    HERE’S WHERE THE STORY GETS INTERESTING... One day my cleaning lady and I were speaking about it (I never picked in front of her, but it was kind of obvious). She had been quite the wild child in her youth and told me people who use Meth pick there skin.

    THIS IS THE PART THAT MAY HELP YOU. So, the next time I visited my psychiatrist I asked him which chemical in the brain does Meth effect and he answered dopamine. I then asked if it increased or decreased dopamine levels. He answered that it increased levels. My next question was, what medication can you prescribe me that will lower my dopamine levels. He prescribed an antipsychotic (I’m in the process of getting the exact name and dosage and will post as soon as my records arrive).

    I took the medication for about two months and I quit picking completely! I WAS CURED!!! I continued taking the medication for about six months and then tapered off of it. I DIDN’T PICK FOR YEARS!!!

    I started taking Gabapentin a while ago and I think my dopamine levels have gone back up because I’m picking again. I’m waiting for my records to arrive to get the name of the med because it was prescribed so long ago. As soon as I get it, my current psychiatrist is ready to prescribe with only a call. I’ll try to keep you posted on my progress as I go through it a second time. I sincerely hope this helps someone! #skinpicking #ExcoriationSkinPickingDisorder #Dermatillomania #HairpullingDisorder #Hairpulling #Trichotillomania #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #OCD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

    12 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I just wanted to tell somebody how I feel

    hi, I’m new here and sorry for my bad English but it’s not my native language. I talked to a pshycologist long time ago, for a few times, trying to get rid of thricotillomania/ hair pulling disorder I have since I was 13 y/o (and I have it even now that I’m 22 y/o, but I can’t tell my parents because they would be really sad about that, because they think I’m not doing it anymore), but without any results and my behaviour was still the same, fighting with self-harm, angry and sad for Crohn disease too, diagnosed when I was 16 y/o. I really want to see a psychologist again because I don’t know what’s wrong with me and if I have something that can be named or diagnosed only to feel relieved knowing that there’s really something and it’s not just me. I feel wrong to define myself as someone with depression because I don’t know if it’s right and I feel like it’s unfair to people who are really depressed, anxious and so on.
    I just want to know what I’m fighting with but I’m a student and I don’t want to ask my parents for money to see a psychologist, because now they’re dealing with other problems and I don’t want to be one of them, and I have no time to work because I have to take the degree to make their efforts not vain and to make them proud. I feel trapped because I feel like I have no right to complain but this is really hard for me. my boyfriend tries so hard to understand me but I feel like a burden to him, because even if he tries, he could never truly understand me and my diseases because it’s something that he doesn’t really know, and I feel like I’m dragging him down with me because I’m always tired and sick and like I’m blocking him from living his life of a 21 y/o human being #CrohnsDisease #HairpullingDisorder #Sadness

    1 person is talking about this
    Community Voices

    Dealing With A Hair pulling disorder

    I have had trichotillomania for 6 and half years now. I was 11 year old. It started with my eyelashes, and then it moved to my eyebrows. Trichotillomania is a hair pulling disorder that is usually triggered. My trigger was pain. I had been dealing with somthing called Median arcurate ligament syndrome. It is a very rare disease that started around the time I started pulling. Sadly because of how rare it is I hadn't been diagnosed with it until I was 15. The disease was actually killing me in my case because it hurt too much to eat. And because of that I was skin and bone up until I had life saving surgery a year and half ago. Until now I had no hair on my face. I ended up getting PTSD from pain to no pain. it was the first time in 5 years I had not felt like I was going to explode in pain. So because of the PTSD it triggered me to pull the hair on my head. I ended up having to shave my head because I pulled out so much. It has been a very hard struggle, but with help from therapy, medicine, and support from others, I have been able to stop. I have eye lashes now and the hair on my head is growing back completely. I am still shaving my eyebrows because I am fearful that others will notice. But I am saying this to say there is hope! And if I can do it, so can you! #Trichotillomania #PTSD #MALS

    2 people are talking about this