rome

I tried a new medication this weekend for my suspected POTs while we are waiting to get into a specialist and it went horribly. I still feel very sick and now am in a flare. So...I put compression leggings and socks on. I have my chicken broth, which seems to be all I can stomach...and I have to make a decision about working or not today soon. I always feel guilty when my body struggles. I saw a quote on Instagram this weekend about how it is okay to rest and restore when you battle chronic pain and illness and it reminded me that so often I am so mean to myself when I am struggling.

So today I am allowing myself to rest and restore because my body is demanding it. I need some encouragement because I feel very alone in this journey right now.

You don’t always have to be grateful that it isn’t worse. It is more than ok to greive about your own experience without belittling it or comparing it to someone else’s story.

#Endo #Endometriosis #Pain #rome #ChronicIllness #experience #belittle #grieve #ChronicPain #Depression #compare

youtu.be/SFGvmrJ5rjM
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me

#BipolarDepression #Selfharm #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #ChronicPain #alone #TakeItOneDayAtATime #rome #ChronicIllness #Fibromyalgia #Manic #Anxiety #PTSD #Loneliness #lonely

Tonight has been rough. hearing all of the fireworks tonight and knowing that my family was having a good time celebrating without me made me feel so alone.

Today started out as a good day. I felt productive, happy, and excited for the New Year. I was expecting to celebrate with my family. But that is far from how this night ended. My sister was invited to a party at her bfs house and I wasn’t invited. my parents went out together and left me at home. It is so heartbreaking knowing that the New Year has come and I am alone. And it’s not just tonight. I am constantly put in the backseat. sometimes it’s because I am too sick to go out. and that is fair. But on nights like tonight where I was well and able to go out, and still robbed of a chance at socialization, celebration, and experiences, I feel vulnerable, neglected, and like my feelings and needs aren’t important. #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #EDSHT #EDS #LivingWithPOTS #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Depression #rome #ChronicIllness #alone #PanicAttack #CheckInWithMe