wife

I have like the twelve millionth UTI of my life. I feel horrible, exhausted, nauseous and generally gross. The reality is the show must go on.. I need to care for my family, cook, clean and be a spouse if you catch my drift... and my job.. sigh.. I love what I do I detest the rotten ingrates I do it for... I’m depleted and run down and stressed beyond belief and did I mention I feel lousy. Lousy. Lousy. Thanks for listening #Chat #Vent #listen

I've had #Depression since I was 14, at least. Along with a severe anxiety issues.
I always managed to mask or fake it until I made it to be "me". People said that when they thought of me they thought of rainbow glitter unicorns. I was proud of that. I had an issue with alcohol and used it as a social lubricant. I was constantly crashing and ending up in crisis, but I had core things that made me me.
18 months #SOBER . I was a huge reader. I was outgoing. I loved cooking. I made a huge effort to be around friends.
I finally got put on meds that worked and it was amazing for about 5 months. I hadn't ever felt that good as far as I could remember. I got my first ever full time job and a lot of good things were happening, but the meds started to become less effective and working 40 hours a week wasn't manageable. Started feeling alot better in December/January again. Got really sick with Mono And Strep Throat£. Missed a month and a half of work. Went back for about a month before Covid shut it all down.

The major point is that I dont feel that spark in me anymore and haven't since April. I'm not reading. I'm not cooking. I'm sleeping all of the time. If I laugh it is more of a chuckle and doesn't actually make me feel any better. I cry constantly. Covid has isolated me even more than I was. My house is trashed. Not doing any of my signature planning. #TheHappyPlanner I'm not journaling.
I just can't. Eating, brushing my teeth, and wearing pants hardly ever all happen in the same day. I could just stare at a wall l day.
I feel dead inside with waves of sadness and anxiety that are so intense I have to hide so I don't go crazy. Thanks, #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
I'm not being a good #mom or #wife and I'm not pulling my weight.

I'm not me anymore and I don't even feel it deep down anymore. I'm losing confidence that those parts of me even exist. I can still fake it for short periods of time, but then I'm useless for days.

I'm #safe I'm not going to hurt anyone or myself, or relapse.

I just started a new med, #cymbalta and am in the process of getting an appointment with a neurologist because of different issues and possibly a Neuropsychologist. My Mom had MS. Neurologists scare me.

Welp. Im gonna go back to watching #Cat videos so that I can stay awake until at least 8:30 even though I slept at least another 4 hours after I forced myself out of bed at 12 pm. You do the math. It isn't great.

#SweetDreams

Hello :) just out of curiosity for those in relationships are you comfortable with sharing your mental health struggles with them? Do you hide it? Or are they sweet and have done something to help you de-escalate from a severe panic/anxiety attack before, an ex or someone you are currently with that made you appreciate their help.🙂💕😇. I get really anxious in relationships 😐and so I prefer to stay single. But I find it so touching and sweet when you find someone to be 100% comfortable with and they help you cope sometimes. Married couples or people dating what has been your experience? #Anxiety #AnxietyAttacks #Dating #DatingWithAChronicIllness #help #couples #Love #Partners #husband #wife #Girlfriend #Boyfriend #LGBTQ

In about 8 hours my Amazing Wife is leaving to spend 8 glorious days with her Mom in Frorida.😎 It is always good for Tams to do this once, maybe twice a year; it's a well earned vacation away from all the countless daily battles, at least try to. I'm going to remain positive while she is away knowing she is safe, of course I'll be waiting with phone close in case she needs our conversations to help her avoid a manic attack, or anxieties that could be triggered from someone or something around her. She is the Love of my life, she has a mental illness,we fight together to make it better, there is hope with Loving a Woman who suffers from #BPD #Bipolar2 #PTSD # #DepressionAdhd #General Anxiety. Once we started to understand what was happening just under 5 years now, she dug in and reasearched everything there was to know, and with both of us going through therapy to understand all of its glory, we found a way to work with each other to make daily living a little easier. Thank you for listening. Steve

I’m new here. I had a heart attack 4.5 yrs ago and I went into a deep depression afterward. I slowly stared feeling a little better, but not by much. In the last 3 weeks I ve fallen back into severe anxiety and depression, even worse than the first time. I had a doctors appt later today. I’m so scared my wife will leave me. She’s tired of me and all my meds, and all the doctors over the years. She’s a beautiful young women and men fine her very attractive. They flirt with her, and she welcomes it. I’m so sad inside and my heart is broken. I can’t stop thinking about her with other men. I have horrible images of her sexually with other men and I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t sleep much. Maybe 3 or 4 hrs a night now, but when I open my eyes my mind goes straight to her and these thoughts all day long. I’m so tired. I’m just burnt out over this. The medication isn’t helping me. My doctor has changed so many times over the years. In afraid my wife made a mistake marrying me and could have had one of these tall handsome men. I’m 54 yrs, just a 5’8’ broken down guy with a big nose. I’m so sad inside, my heart is just breaking. I love her. I’ve asked her, she says she loves me, but I don’t believe the attraction is there anymore. I’m more of a child now than a man. I have no confidence. Not like these guys hitting on her. She smiles when they do and she looks so happy. She doesn’t smile like that wth me anymore.
Anyway, I’m just rambling on. Sorry everyone. I feel so empty and I just want 5his feeling to go away. I feel like I’m going nuts. I wish my my would just love me like before, but I’m afraid those days are gone forever. I’m just a nuisance now and she doesn’t want to leave me while I’m in this depression. My heart is broken.

Someone really important to me is my wife. She keeps me accountable and on track.

#wife #52SmallThings #accountable