selfgrowth

They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade. But if life doesn't give you water and sugar. Than good luck drinking the lemon juice. But the thing is the sugar and water comes from you. It's the way that you handle any given situation. Can you rise above the pain or lose your self in the misery? Do you ever see the good times or only the pain? Do past traumas and pain over shadow everything else in your life? I can say I am one that loses my self in the lemons. A lot of time I can see the sugar and water. Somedays are better then others. I'm a work in progress growing and changing everyday. I'm someone that have my dark (very dark at times) times. But I also have my light. Sometimes I wish that the dark never came around. Though truth be told as bad as some of those lemons where. They are what made me me. So let the lemons keep coming. My mental health may be on a shaky cracked platform but everyday it is healing in one way or another.

#MentalHealth #innerstrength #selfgrowth

I’ve been using substances to cope with my bipolar and cptsd & fibromyalgia for years and I finally decided I hit my bottom & admitted to myself I have a problem and have been sober for one month and almost two weeks. I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with emotions and my cptsd gives me flash backs and makes me disassociate and have horrible nightmares. I have been journaling and drawing again and using self care so I’m feeling much better. I get drug tested every two weeks bc I take a special medication that has saved my life, but it’s awesome because I’m holding myself accountable. I also have fibro so it’s hard managing it now because I don’t use to get rid of the pain. But, today I can finally say I’m at peace with myself. Today I have clarity and if I have mood swings I have self awareness and use my coping skills finally. I hear my family tell me they’re proud of me and that means the world to me! And for once I’m proud of myself !! #selfgrowth #CPTSD #BipolarDisorder #Polysubstanceabuse #Fibromyalgia

Today my boyfriend confessed something I had been suspecting/fearing for a long time. I never really confronted him about it, because in my mind I was ashamed of even being distrustful of him. I tried all kinds of methods to help myself thinking differently, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of. It really brought me so much pain. Because on one hand I didn't trust him, and on the other hand I was doubting myself, feeling like this crazy girlfriend. Unrelated recent events have led me to thinking that I actually have a strong intuition. And today I finally had it confirmed. I was not even mad. The confirmation about being right, that the uncomfortable feelings, the distrust, the pain - it was NOT all in my head. For me, the lack of honesty is the worst. It creates loads of fake scenarios and hurt. I know I can always handle the truth, so that's really all I need and expect to have peace. I consider myself an incredibly understanding and non-judgemental person, so the truth itself did not bother me, even though my intuition was right and my fear was real. I mean, I even understand why he kept this from me. But it's the lying and going behind my back that's unbearable. The feeling of distrust. So I felt the need to write this down, because now I'm just utterly relieved. I do indeed have a strong intuition that I can actually trust from now on. My feelings are real, and I have a whole new faith in myself!