Sexaddiction

A rarely discussed symptom of sexual abuse yet one of the most common. Sex addiction. I’ve experienced it and I know many girls in worse situations who also came out that way. I think it’s rarely discussed because how do you explain to people an obsession you have related to a trauma? Psychologically it’s perfectly understandable but many people don’t get that because it seems illogical.

You know the stereotype of the stripper with daddy issues? Go to any strip club and you’ll find it’s a stereotype for a reason-it’s a very common out come. Girls get molested, developed a push pull attraction to sex, their identity becomes their sex appeal (for many reasons), they need money…. So that’s where they find themselves working. They also often dabble in prostitution… I’ve considered it… I still do… every day. To get enough money to run away. Or at least to hitch a ride.

I always found it funny when people accused asexuals of being sexually abused for having no interest in sex. I’m over here like, “I’ve yet to meet a child sexual abuse survivor 100% afraid of sex. Adult sexual abuse survivors? Hell yes. Childhood? No. I think it’s more common to be addicted or have no feelings in particular (it’s for someone else never you-I know a learning disabled victim with that response… but she’s really religious so we don’t click)… to nonintimate sex… while simultaneously yes being afraid of it.

Make no sense? Welcome to my life. I can only have sex if I don’t feel it’s sweet or kind or love related. Sweet kind sex makes me freak out. I think it’s about an inability to merge romance with sex. My brain can’t fathom a coexistence between them. Sex for my abuser was about his pleasure so my brain sees sex as dirty. And can’t fathom someone loving me while doing it.

“I’m far more afraid of someone I trust touching me than a stranger,” is a good way to sum it up. These are based on my experiences and may not reflect everyone obviously but I figure I’d spell it out.

#CPTSD #PTSD #Trauma #Abuse #Sexaddiction #Addiction #SexualAbuse #ChildSexualAbuse

I found out that the first five years he was cheating on me from day one. Three were actual long term relationships. He had no intention of stopping. All of the woman are also bipolar or have anxiety disorders. One of them told me everything. I always knew but the confirmation has been killing me for two years. I’ve found out so much and I’m obsessively searching for things I don’t really want to know. I have caught him in 100’s of lies. I’ve had depression most of my
Life but it’s been severe for the last 14 years since my husband left me with little kids for a 21 year old. I finally ended it but I fear being alone. That I’m unloveable. That I’ll never be enough. I just want someone make me understand so I can stop blaming myself.

#Bipolar1Disorder #Hypersexuality #Sexaddiction #pathologicalliar

I thought we were in love; that we we're lucky to have found each other. You put your addictions above me. Alcohol, medications and sex. Your secrets ran through every aspect of our marriage.

If I leave you, if I don't accept you as an addict, did I ever really love you? Or did I just not understand addiction... Our third member of the marriage.

#Divorce #Sexaddiction #Alcoholism #Addiction #Love

I don’t know if it’s my bipolar popping out again. Just went through terrible depression in and out for 2 months. Now I’m very obsessed with sex. I don’t act on anything, but it’s taking up my mind. Literally distracting me from school, which is very draining. I just want to have awesome sex as an escape. It’s very embarrassing to admit I have a lust addiction on top of my alcohol addiction (sober). #Mania #BipolarDepression #Sexaddiction #ADD #Hypersexuality

So, my first post ever but feels are really taking over. My boyfriend is a sex addict (and cannot be intimate with me unless he’s been intimate with other people as well) and week ago we somewhat decided to break up. Yet we live together, were intimate together yesterday, hold hands and etc. And he’s suffering depression due to his hypersexuality as well since we both don’t know how to make US work. Me, being a borderline am crying half time of the day and barely holding it together and he’s disassociating even further. And yet he’s the utmost perfect being ever! I have never connected ideologically and intellectually with anyone like that. I just feel like it’s somehow my fault and of course I know it is not, just I have this innate need to protect and support him but I cannot, can I? Not when I’m hurting as well. Has anyone of you ever had similar relationship or experience? I really could use some advice so I don’t drip over. #Sexaddiction #Depression #Relationships #Love #Hypersexuality #Nosupportsystem #Advice

The Saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
-Robert Bobby Milk Deniro
#Depression #CPTSD #Anxiety #LearningDisorder #Sexaddiction

If sex triggers you, is suggest stopping.

When I get aroused, omg I need to be locked in a room and have cold water thrown on me till I calm down. I partake and list for the stupidest, riskiest, sometimes assaulted, unprotected sexual situations.

My drive is out of this world. I seriously would... and have... had sex on a whim with whom ever. I’ve been the other woman with a married man. There seem to be no boundaries. I am able to slow myself down for a bit but holy cow. The kraken is released and there is no holding back.

I know part of this comes from history of longtime sexual assault at a young age. Its the taken advantage of and the subsequent shame or power, self consciousness, feelings of being dirty, I really enjoy. I also, truly, like getting slammed and humiliated during sexual.

With regards to protection, I basically never use it, but I get screened for stds whenever I do this. I almost welcome the idea of catching something, so it requires me to slam on the breaks.

I don’t know how to curtail this. I’ve been off the charts lately. I sort of don’t want to, but I could seriously damage relationships because of this, and I have straight out been assaulted in playing with these behaviors as well.

How do others (you) manage this sort of all encompassing self-destructive lust. This applies to women as well, but I have a strong preference towards penises.

My therapist said I need to use my “wise mind.” I try. I’m very much aware these are self damaging behaviors, but I can’t seem to stop. As I said, I want to hurt myself and I want whatever psychological state I feel when it happens.
What do you do? No joke. Anyone addicted? Is it related to a desire for humiliation, perhaps?