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Put on the spot

Today I had some terrible anxiety at work because this male gym member put me on the spot. He was super sketchy due to how he acted when he came in. He had said something off putting to another woman who told him to “piss off”. And I was basically just standing there existing and he starts teasing me about how I was standing. It was just completely out of nowhere no introduction. I told him politely that I didn’t find it amusing. But he took it as a “come on” and hits on me saying he was going to take me to the basketball court to make out. It was weird as hell so I ran away from him and reported it to management. I wasn’t going to wait because we’ve had men like him before and they never have any self awareness. They just see any female staff member or woman at the gym and think it’s hilarious to poke fun at whatever we’re doing. Also I’m autistic and it effects my posture which is a huge reason I was unamused by his joke. I’m not about to be someone’s free entertainment. Forget about it. I’m at the point where I’ll call them out on their crap. It makes me anxious to be made a spectacle of. Now I’m sitting at home feeling iffy about going back to work tomorrow. #Anxiety #SexualHarassment

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How do I know if I was abused?

I thought I wanted it but while and afterwards I felt extremely scared and dirty. I was shaking like crazy. I wanted to run away and I feel like I didn’t give consent. I have trouble sleeping and for a while I was scared to go outside.

#Abuse #PTSD #Depression #SexualHarassment #Dating

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Is it wrong to feel bad for him?

About two years ago a local hair dresser sexually harrased me. He didn't assault me, but hadn't my daughter and my then girlfriend entered the salon when they did I don't know what would've happened.. I just found out he's being sent out of the country. That means he has to return to Baghdad. I feel such a relief knowing that in just a few weeks I won't have to be scared of seeing him around, but at the same time I feel bad for him. I feel bad that he has to close his business and travel back to a country that isn't safe. People around me keep saying that he deserve this. I feel like I should be happy about him being sent out of the country, but at the same time I feel sorry for him.. I don't want him around. I don't want to live in fear of meeting him at the local stores, but at the same time I don't want him to be sent back to where he fled from.. I'm so confused about my feelings about this. Even my therapist keeps telling me I should celebrate and be happy about it, but I don't feel like doing that.. I feel like I should want to celebrate, but at the same time I feel like it would be wrong of me to celebrate someone having to go back to a unsafe country.. What do you guys think? #SexualHarassment #Fear #SelfDoubt

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Safe Space #sad #Disappointed #triggered #SexualHarassment #lonely #depressed

so I've been on this app for 24hrs and I already had a man message me trying to bully and pressure me into sending him body pics of myself. Another request I blocked was from a man who was one person in his profile picture one moment and then suddenly a different person drastically the next time I looked. Are there a lot of scammers on this app?? I joined this app to have a safe space. I imagine ppl prey on vulnerable people on this app... which is very disheartening. I definitely don't want to be harassed or preyed upon like this is a dating app or something.. which isn't ok on a dating app either.. this man was telling me his wife died and he might lose his kids to repeatedly trying to make me feel like I owed him a picture of my body which was extremely triggering.. I did block an report him. I hope he doesn't do this to anyone else on here who may fall into his pressuring.. his choice in words were very manipulative. I'm feeling defeated and hopeless. I've been extremely reclusive no social media or anything and anytime I put myself out there online I start losing faith in humanity... but I am greatful for the positive interactions on here. I have a consult with for a potential new therapist tomorrow and I definitely did not need the messages I received tonight :(

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Sexual Harassment

So I have been having a terrible few weeks already. Like it’s getting to the point where I can’t do anything anymore. But I decided to go out dancing with my friends on Wednesday hoping that the fun would make feel better. And it actually did… until later at night when I lost my friends. This guy started harassing me and grabbing my waist even though I told him to stop multiple times. I was so scared and I felt like I was trapped and there was no way to escape. I forgot what it felt like to be sexually harassed because it hadn’t happened to me in years. And all of the memories just came flooding back from my childhood. And I just really needed to leave the situation so I told him no one more time and left to get water. But he started following me. Thankfully I saw my (male) friend standing on the other side of the dance floor and practically ran to him while the creep was still following me. My friend finally got the guy to leave and I just burst into tears. It’s been a day now and I can’t stop crying. I just can’t handle this on top of everything. It was just like the cherry on top of everything going on in my life. I am getting a new therapist soon, so I have no one to talk to right now and I just feel so bad. Like I have talked to my friends and it’s just not helping at all. This guy just had to harass me and had to make all of my progress go down the drain.
#SexualHarassment #Depression #Anxiety

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My Deserved Trauma (trigger warning:sexual harassment) #SexualTrauma #SexualHarassment #Shame #infidelity

I was weak, desperate, and easily manipulated. I was trying to keep myself from falling apart, and nearly ruined my life in the process. He saw an easy opening, and pressed his advantage. I was just one of a long line of trysts for him, but his was the only hand I found reaching out, when I felt like I was drowning, and I grabbed it in desperation. I split myself in two, as I betrayed my very identity. He only wanted one thing, and I knew it from the start, but I needed more. He knew the words to say and I heard what I wanted to hear.

Then, he took it further, and decided to “share” me. For 3 hours of my shift I was followed around, being sexually harassed by my boss. I tried to say no. I told them that’s just not me. I don’t know if they realized that, unlike their long lists of women, my relationships could fit on one hand. I said, not tonight. My “friend” said, right now, let’s go. He grabbed me by the arm, and walked me to the car, my boss right behind us.

I don’t know why I didn’t fight. I don’t know what made me go with them. Maybe I was scared that my boss would fire me. I think I was mostly in shock. It felt like a scene out of books I had guiltily read. After being happily, faithfully married for 9.5 years, before getting involved with this “friend” and also being quite sure that I was not desirable to anyone besides my husband, I couldn’t wrap my head around the current circumstances.

They drove around so long looking for a “safe” place to park that there was no way I’d make it back on time from my lunch break, so I made up a “family emergency” to go home. It didn’t matter. Everyone at work had already figured it out. The gossip, dirty looks, etc. lasted for weeks.

Afterwards, my “friend” bragged about my boss thanking *him*, and telling him how great it was and that “he’s the man”, for letting him in on the action. My boss even bragged to someone within hearing of another employee! At first their comments made me feel proud and sexy. Then, as I looked back, I felt dirty and used.

It had always been about him. Asking me for money. Always on his schedule. It never mattered if I said No. He would manipulate me until I gave in. And I let him. Because I was weak and pathetic. Then, it became about both of them. I was overruled. They didn’t care about my reputation at work. I was pretty much shunned, though I learned that most of the girls there had slept with one or both of them.

I quit that job, and a few months later my “friend” found a way to get a hold of me, and asked how I was and if he could see me. I naively thought he was being sweet and was actually concerned about my well-being. I told him that it would be purely platonic, not physical, and he agreed. I realized just how stupid I’d been, when he first tried to pressure me, and then began threatening to force me. Never have I been so grateful for being too fat to be easily shoved into a back seat. I got away, and blocked him entirely. For once, I was strong.

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Yelo rose fore #Friendship

Jus wantd to shar my buaetiful rose dat woz giben yo me an shar it buety an a yelo rose is fore freinship
Me also wantd to aks an hop ebryon is doin ok , as bes u can. An it ok if u note fel ok eva X as me unstan bery wel witch is y me haben bin on heer sinc las mesag.
Sendin lots ob hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗n pryrs 🙏🙏🙏🙏 to my felow freins an wariors!!!! 🦋💜💛❤💙🧡💚🤎🖤🤍💜🦋

#Anxiety #Agoraphobia #Abuse #Amnesia #CPTSD
#ChronicPain #ChronicMigraines #ChronicDepression #Depression #dissociativedisorders #Disability #DomesticAbuse #Emetophobia #EmotionalAbuse #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #FearOfAbandonment #fearoffailure #fearofjudgement #Headaches
#PanicAttacks #PsychologicalAbuse #physicalabuse #Seizures #SuicidalThoughts #SexualAssault #SexualHarassment #SpeechImpediment

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The Hardest Part of Sexual Abuse

I was sexually abused by my ex-boyfriend for almost 2 years way back in 2017 to 2019. I was 16 to 17 back then, he was an adult. I didn't realize I was sexually abused and just thought I was being "too innocent" because first and foremost, he was my boyfriend, afterall. So, why would I not give my consent to someone whom I trust and whom I should have a sexual relationship with?

Whenever I made him stop, he would just go on. After every session, I would breakdown in front of him and beg him to not do it again, hoping he would change, but sometimes, he would just mock me and laugh at me. Until one time, I just felt numb while he was doing lascivious acts. I subconsciously abandoned my emotions, as if it was my defense-mechanism to cope and accept the things he had done. It felt like I was trapped in a cycle and couldn't do anything because I was attached to him. Nevertheless, I just thought there was something wrong with me and not with him.

Since then, my behavior and mental illnesses got worse. I was oftenly too aggressive without any reason, too irritable, drowned myself into alcohol abuse, blamed myself for everything, had severe anxiety attacks, and more. Everyone thought I was the "bad guy" and did too thought of myself that way.

It took me several times before I could officially break up with him because whenever I would break up with him, he would just yell at me and tell me that I have no valid reason to break up with him. Thankfully, I did finally cut off our ties last September 2019. However, I still suffer from the trauma that he had brought to me. I got nightmares , anxiety attacks, and had breakdowns after breakdowns after breakdowns and so on...until there was no tear left to cry.

You never realize that you are trapped in an abusive relationship because you unconditionally love that person even if it means sacrificing your own self, until one day, you just wake up from reality and have enough of it. It took me one advice from my friend to make me realize that I was in an abusive relationship.

Whoever is suffering from sexual abuse, I hope you'll soon outlive and I know you will.

#SexualAbuse #adolescent sexual molestation trauma #Trauma #SexualTrauma #Survivor of rape and or molestation #SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAssault #SexualViolence #SexualHarassment #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #ChildAbuse #childabusesurvivors

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Fighting back against harassment

This week I took a big jump and decided to formally make a statement to HR on harassment I received from a co worker. I was scared it had been too long since it had been almost a year since it had physically occurred since I had moved work locations I did not see him anymore. My boss has been super supportive throughout it all helping me get in contact with the right people and providing support with work tasks with the added work on working through preliminary harassment details. While I feel better I submitted it, I am very anxious about the next steps and what may happen. The person I am accusing can be very harsh and worry about what he may say about me to try and get out of trouble. I am trying to have trust in HR, my boss, and the system, my boss says I have nothing to worry about but still is not something I wanted to go through

#Anxiety #SexualHarassment #Fear #Trust #PTSD

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