Singlemom

My mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 Melanoma cancer. She is a single mom and takes care of me and my older brother. She went from working 6 days a week, to having no energy to do much. we are now at a point where we can’t afford rent, so my brother is moving to Missouri at the end of the month where his dad lives and he is gonna take all of our fruniture, beds, boxes and what not. Me and my mom are gonna go to florida, and live with my great aunt for 3/2 months, then go to Missouri when her disability and unemployment kicks in. We will be driving to Florida. The problem is we don’t have the money for the truck, or to fix my moms car. We have called so many places, have asked everyone we can think of for help. My mom is just nonstop constantly trying to find a solution but it’s all just a dead end. We have asked family and friends but no one can help. So if anyone who reads this knows someone or knows a place to call please let me know. Anything helps!

The last few days have really been exhausting and draining emotionally. Definitely stepped closer to feeling like why fight. Nothing was going right. From not being able to get medication refill to simple as not receiving drinks with Mcds delivery. (Stupid but was the last nudge to break me)
Today I made myself get up early, and did two important errands that I've put off for a month. Both things required me to leave the house, which has been progressively getting harder. Also I haven't drove for 2.5yrs! So I just kept going and told myself I had to do this. I drove to both places, with my 4yr old, and completed my errands. Everything went smooth. Didn't get lost, didn't have to wait super long and my son was great being patient sitting. Now I ended my day with a random 2hr phone call with my 15yr old son. He rarely talks on the phone so this was amazing. So I'm posting this remind myself and anyone that needs to hear, that good days can really happen!They may be few and far in between but if you keep pushing, they will happen. #Depression #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #dontgiveup #firstborn #Singlemom #Widow #Grief

I had the worst flare up after my second covid jab, to the point that I was struggling to walk, had to get a tramazac injection (which only took the edge off), stayed in bed for two days straight, and weirdly, had some endo pain again. However, this morning I woke up and I didn't feel like I'd been run over by a bus! I nearly cried, with joy this time.

I'm achey but in the normal, tolerable fibro way. I took my kids to the market day at their school where we enjoyed the sun and people and I got to spoil them a bit. I packed the dishwasher and just bathed my dog. And now it's time to rest a bit because I'm learning that Fibromania is a very real thing.

The fear of a flare is overwhelming and it's hard to know when it will end. This one lasted two weeks, with this week throwing me into a pit of anger and despair. It also gave me time to think (and freak out, lol) about work and my kids and running the house as a single mom. I'm going to need to find a better, less stressful way of providing for my girls. I have no idea how, or what I'll be capable of keeping up with - chronic illness does not make for reliability and my schedule can be erratic depending on flare ups, doctors visits, and medication side effects. I also live in South Africa and it's not exactly set up to support any kind of decent career which pays the bills and isn't a CEO position.

Not sure where to from here but I need to get out of my current situation before the stress has me bed bound more permanently. At least I feel better today and I've been able to enjoy some time with my kids and get out of the house. Perhaps it's time to take this better day and do some brainstorming on my next steps.

#Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #fibroflare #ChronicPain #Singlemom #ParentingWithADisability #ChronicFatigue

It feels like my life has been in shambles here lately. I am struggling with anxiety, depression and just crazy emotions and anger. I’ve been drinking a lot to cope with the struggles of being a single mom, co parenting with a narsasist and not having much support in general. I’ve lost a lot of “friends” and it feels like I am stuck in a viscous self destruction cycle that I can’t seem to escape. I don’t even know where to begin to get better.