checkinginwithme

I’m freaking out stomach nausea from eating old hummus ok had croutons and 3 vegi crackers to settle stomach am I ok from eating the old hummus my worries are there and I can’t ca myself down enough to sleep will I be ok or do u die from accidentally eating hummus from late aug I can’t sleep and am scared bc of nausea #PTSD #Selfcare #CPTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #CheckInWithMe #checkinginwithme #Upallnight #Chatspace #Hugs #Friends #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdawareness #BPDDiagnosis #CPTSDinrelationships #help #BipolarDisorder #Disability #Chat #PinchedNerve #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSDawareness #Fibromyaliga #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Aspergers #AspergersSyndrome #Spoonie #SpoonieProblems #Spoonies #Aspie #Art #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HashimotosThyroiditis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MightyQuestions #TheMightyTakeaway #MightyTogether #MightyMusic #mightymen #mightywarriors #mightywriters #MightyMoms #MightyMail #mightytoghter #DBT #DatingWithAChronicIllness #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Dating #Depression #datingdisabilities #Disabililty #disablity #checkinonme #Walking #52SmallThings #30Days30Stories #30daysofteal #Healthy #SaveMe #Company

These things have personally been said to me about me😞😔 Ive tried to open up and be strong... But stuff lik this makes me shut down and question why am I even here???

1. The world doesn't revolve around you.
2. Everybody suffers from depression. So get over it!!
https://3.You just need to pray harder
4. I don't think your depressed just lazy.
5.I'm depressed too. but you dont see me feeling sorry for myself.
https://6.You need to get out more .Get yourself a man.
7. You have a child so you need to snap out of it!
8.You're too young to be depressed
https://9.Every one dies you need to get over her(my grandmother)You still thinking about her.. That one hurts the most😔

#checkinginwithme

#Wehavetostandtogether

Been suicidal for several years since my husband died and other traumas happened. Was homeless and couch surfing 2.5 years, just moved in with family because I couldn’t survive alone Anymore. Can’t cope without pets, but I can’t have pets where I’m staying... until I can get a service dog, which is expensive and a long process IF I can even manage it.

I’m disabled and unable to work now and I feel worthless, alone, and angry that my biggest needs are almost always unmet.

I’m angry that I’m supposed to be grateful for subpar mental health and homeless services, that they dangle a home over my head if only I’ll do what they want and wait a bunch of years on a waiting list. I’m angry that I’ve worked so hard but still couldn’t manage to get a stable home.

I just want a home with a garden and pets and a place to play my violin and sing. That’s all. Why can’t I have that?! Why is it so much to ask?? 😰

TW: I’ve been through a lot. I have anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I’m struggling to manage my drinking.
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My spouse died in 2016, lost a wanted pregnancy a few months ago, was homeless and couch surfing in BC for 2.5 years after life insurance refused to pay, I injure my back at work and couldn’t work anymore. I had a traumatic deconversion from fundamentalist religion and I’m a sexual assault survivor. I couldn’t keep my beloved cats while homeless; they’re with a friend permanently now and I miss them terribly. I was forced to move back to NB to stay with family a month ago ish, so I’m missing friends and my usual routine.

I’m angry that despite working so hard all my twenties, I’m still trapped in poverty, and now I can’t work anymore. I need a service animal but can’t get one anytime soon, and I can’t have regular pets. I miss my cats and cry about it all the time. I have Postpartum Depression after losing a wanted pregnancy.

I don’t trust new people much anymore; even trusting a new therapist or doctor is extremely difficult now, as I was traumatized again while being hospitalized after a suicide attempt; they were going to restrain me for refusing to give them my cell phone, which I rely on to distract me with games when I have panic attacks. I will never trust them again.

I have PTSD flashbacks and panic attacks almost daily. I can’t trust new friends and can’t trust new lovers. Can’t have pets because I can’t afford my own place.

I learned over the years my Illnesses do not make me ..me ..now house bound for 3yrs and counting. Most would think.. I should be going crazy and be utterly depressed. When that is the furthest thing from the truth..do I have my days that I cry out of frustration of not being able to do what I want. ..but it is not the real me ..... that is a completely different from the chronic illness person..
The real me likes to laugh as often as possible every day... The real me keeps myself engaged in life even house bound. The real me is loving caring compassionate empathic a good listener trustworthy will only speak the truth if you ask a question no matter if it is blunt or not if you need to hear the truth because no one else has the balls to tell you the truth.. I will...
The real me loved to bake all the time...I have to ask for help now but on a good day I try to bake sweets for my husband that takes such good care of me and the house because I can't...the real me loves to have friends gather and eat good food and good times...
The real me loves to give and receive hugs..
The real me will always be there for you 💜
That is the real me #therealme #checkinginwithme