Poor

I want to bash my head in. I want to scream on the top of my lungs. I am so angry and I don’t want to fall back into behaviors that slowly kill me.

I can’t do this.

Any appointment I’m ABLE to get, is so complex I don’t understand. Referals, we don’t take your insurance.

No one takes my insurance!!! Medicaid doesn’t cover medications!!! Are you over 18? Then we need a million prior authorizations!! But wait!! Never mind because you’re too old for the medication, per us insurance!!

Your sick?! Need meds?! YOU GOT IT!

JUST KIDDING THEYRE NEVER COVERED!!

Have no job because you can barely keep yourself safe?!?! TRY OUR MEDICAID AND GET NO MEDICATIONS OR SERVICES YOU NEED!!

NEED TO SEE NEUROLOGY?! FORGET IT WITH MEDICAID!

NEED TO GET VIRAL MEDICATION?! FORGET IT WITH MEDICAID!!!

It’s just a big FU to anyone who can’t take care of themselves, the way the country wants.

I fucking hate it here. Why do I try? Why do I fight so hard when there’s 10,000 roadblocks in the way.

Fighting for disability, with a lawyer, who told me I’m going to get denied again. I WENT AND GOT ALL MY RECORDS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT.

I get told by my lawyer, THAT THE STATE ISNT GOING TO READ EVERY PAGE.

WHY THE FUCK AM I FIGHTING THEN?!?!

I am tired of this life. Constant fear of upcoming flare ups from being chronically I’ll which results in missing out on life and work that causes you to become poor and suffering cause your not working so anxiety develops and you think your getting passed it when your 5 week sober boyfriend tells you he’s gonna “sip” tonight only means he’s gonna end up blacking out messaging other girls inappropriate things cause his alter ego comes into play and you start to panic even more cause money is going to waste on alcohol when we don’t even have food in the cupboards kinda anxiety #Addiction #Anxiety #Alcohol #ChronicPain #Poor

This morning the Fibro pain has again reared its ugly head- I hate when it starts my day,instead of ending my day( tho that's not nice to be hurting at bedtime,either!). Guess it's the below freezing temperature that's got it going. Don't you( those with fibro) just hate it when the fibro takes over even Before the day starts? It over comes the arthritis,the swollen feet & lower legs,the fitful sleep from the nite,and tired mind from having to deal with it & everything else on a daily basis. Even the pretty sunrise this morning gets hit. Big Sigh. Oh well,such is life when you are used to hurting All Over from an Invisible Disease. #Fibromyalgia ,#RA ,#oa ,#PTSD ,#GAD ,#Bipolar 2,#GERD ,#Insomnia ,#high Blood Pressure,#Allergies to most Everything,#sinusitis chronic,#Teeth problems( likely from meds been on for so long,acc.to dentist),#"covering" how I really am feeling,#bad dreams that carry over into the day,#restlessness ,#So many Meds,#dry Eye Syndrome,#Dermatitis -chronic,#Headaches ,Short term memory loss left over from ECT treatments,#Fibro Brain Fog,#sad ,#Overeating when illnesses take over too much,##Poor Self-Image,#Stagnant motivation,#chronic Talking to Myself-even Out Loud,#Talking & writing too much,#worry ,#Thinking of others instead of me,#people Pleaser,#Procrastination ,#Poor money management,#Ignoring important signs & Symptoms.

I’m used to being scared for myself. Now I’m scared on a larger scale. I have a lot to unpack in terms of what my “issues” are and because of that, I give up. Not because it’s not worth it for me but because being hurt while being vulnerable is life threatening for me. I don’t know how to stop myself from coming back from the brink while also being so alone. I want to do well and I want to feel better. So I’m still here and it’s really hard but I’m doing it. I’m living still and it’s so hard but I’m doing it. #LivingWithYourself #SuicidalThoughts #Anxiety #Depression #Poor #outcast #COVID19

Well, its father’s day and its the first time ive ever been away from my dad... my parents moved on valentines day and ive really been struggling and missing them! I cry every night and feel overwhelmed all the time. I just want to see my parents and get a good hug :( im also so depressed and upset bc i couldnt even afford to buy him a card for fathers day.. we ran out of gas and food this week too. Im so over living pay check to paycheck and not being able to afford to live... disability checks only go so far and rent takes up 3/4 of it... i need prayers! :( #CheckInWithMe

My career search is like being in the middle of a complicated trail without a map or directions. I have no idea how people navigate this. I am unable to drive so I want to work virtually I want to be a virtual bookkeeper. When I am job searching I am always finding jobs that require work experience which gives me anxiety because I have no work experience. I am only getting older and I am so afraid that I am going to miss the "career train". I am fearful of being penniless without any retirement savings. I want to be happy and a part time gig would be enough for me. I am painting on the side because it is my other passion in life. I have always dreamed of meeting someone who is willing to teach me the ins and outs of virtual bookkeeping and helping me find the right place to work. I have been a part of VR for quite some time but sadly they are struggling to find me a virtual bookkeeper job because they keep running into the same snags as me, which is the required work experience. #Poor #moneytroubled #Autism #AspergersSyndrome #Anxiety #Career #JobSearch #Job #money #Mentoring #help #Career

I was diagnosed with this disorder about a year ago with an MRI. I have been having memory, thinking, and organising problems for years but didn’t know why. I have had several falls, the most serious on Halloween last year where I fractured my sacrum falling down the stairs. Since then I had unrated eye surgery with complications so I haven’t driven on 3 months. I have taken a leave from my volunteer position at an animal shelter and am fearful of returning because of my issues. I also have been clinically depressed for 40 years. Is there anyone out there that can identify with mybsitmy