Daughter

I went cold on a neighbor that moved away last October.. She was unbelievable and so toxic. Everyday she would show up at my house and I felt bad and let her in. Her children, grown, hate her and her husband had moved out of the bedroom almost a decade ago. She is a toxic lier! Telling her entire family she has MS and for 10 years she had everyone fooled she saw a doctor and was medicated. An emergency revealed she lied. The lies were enormous! So I felt bad for her because her husband filed for divorce, but he did catch her cheating when she got caught having sex with her married boss and they both got fired!
Here's my problem, number one, I'm a scapegoat, 2 I'm an empath and my heart is huge but I know I should not be talking with her at all and she just called after a year! She's almost homeless! And I know id never let her move in here but she needs my help. I did her divorce for her in 2022! And neglected myself!! I know I shouldn't answer the phone if she calls again!!! I know my new therapist would be very upset I decided to take 2 calls from her after a year! I'm mad at myself!! Do I answer again and explain again I need to take care of me, my husband and home or do I never answer again? I'm the daughter of a narcissistic mother and the scapegoat of the family. So you know where my heart is always at!! Thanks guys for your help!!! #Toxic #CPTSD #Anxiety #mood disorder #scapegoat #Childhood abuse #Bipolor #Daughter of a narcissistic mother

#psychologist #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #mum #Dad #Daughter #son #Borderline
#Selfharm

I am so sad realizing my daughter has to suffer the same or even more than me. She is 12 years old now.
Is there any mumvor dad who is in similar situation? Its really hard to handle for me.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharm #BorderlineStigma #mum #Daughter #Dad

This was my first post from a little while back (it’s sort of long): Hi, my name is 1Annabelle. I'm here because my adult (24 yo) daughter has recently been Dx with Borderline personality disorder. I have always been very consistent with her, reassuring, encouraging, and tell her self-esteem building things all the time. She and her bf very recently broke up after just shy of 3 years living together. She also (right before they split, I mean the day of or day after) asked me if she could move back home. Last time she lived at home was right before COVID. She lost her job, and was a complete slob. Stained my white bathrooms (plural), would not pick up (you couldn’t see the floor in her room), kept trash and moldy, to the point it was fuzzy, food and half drunk glasses of wine and empty vodka and wine bottles buried under stuff on the floor. She needed to come home, and I told her yes, and then told her that her lack of cleanliness is quite the deterrent. It literally took 6 CLOCK HOURS to clean just the 2 bathrooms she used. She then blamed me for her mess along with lots of other false accusations. Her father and I divorced when she was 10, and that was hard on her. He is a narcissist, I am not. She has idolized him (trauma bond?) since she was born. His and my parenting is polar opposite. He is of the ‘let her raise herself’, and I’m ‘she has boundaries and expectations’. He has always bad-mouthed me to her with false allegations, outright blatant lies, blame shifting, and being/playing the victim. She called me crying 4 days ago, and I absolutely exploded at her. I said that she could come back, but if the false accusations happened that she would be out. My tone was COMPLETELY uncalled for, and TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. I then hung up on her. She moved into my brother & SIL downstairs apartment this weekend. I feel very very very guilty for yelling at her like I did. I meant the words, but the tone was awful. Knowing the words and tone are 2 separate things, I know she is feeling very betrayed and completely rejected and lost. I need to write her a letter, but have zero clue as to how to apologize effectively. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO APOLOGIZE AND REGAIN MY DAUGHTER’S TRUST. HELP! I know she’s in excruciating emotional pain from the break-up and feeling as though her mother rejected her. PLEASE HELP ME.
Please know that her father ALWAYS criticized and ridiculed her from literally the minute she was born. He never took much interest in her. He also bad-mouths me to her (from her birth to present). It took me 17 years to finally have the strength to leave. She was 10. She has always idolized him, even though I was always her safe place. I feel as though I have betrayed and destroyed my child. Please know that I’m also dealing with a physical disability (Spinocerebellar Ataxia) that several neurologists and the Mayo Clinic deems idiopathic. It’s degenerative and getting worse. It manifested over 20 years ago. I can’t walk anymore. I just carry on anyway, and choose not to be around people who choose to judge. #Daughter

I'd like to start by explaining there was the time in our relationship when my daughter did not live with me. She was alienated from me by her father and his then girlfriend and lived with them approximately four years. This was extremely difficult for me and I ended up inpatient at that time.

My daughter and the girlfriend got into a very big fight when she was 18 and she moved back home. She had friends over drinking and smoking weed all the time. We clashed over it many times. Last year in January we got into another argument and she punched me in the nose. I kicked her out. I believe she has explosive disorder and possibly bipolar.

So then I was living alone and I do not do well alone. She was needing a place to stay and of course I'm her mom and have a big heart and I am a doormat so I welcomed her back in. We discussed how things would go and we talk about things after we have disagreements. We're very conscious of each other's feelings. And we really are making Headway. But now I have to move. She wasn't supposed to be living with me because I have housing assistance for one person. Most young people live at home still.

Now with us both scrambling to find a place she has decided to go to school and live on campus. With her dog. Wants to certify him as a support animal.
Normally this would be a good idea but she works overnights and is exhausted and moody and sleeps during the day. Then she picks up my grandson from daycare.
I truly don't feel she is in the mindset or has the motivation or energy to give School the attention in order to succeed. Also she is trying to get housing because she doesn't want to pay for an apartment and end up like me. In poverty.

I can see this becoming a failure but I guess I just have to let her figure it out? Idk....
#Daughter #confuses #stressed #dontknowwhattodo

I really need honest thoughts from anyone that could please help me understand my daughter. What took place is her graduation was June 10th, but I missed it because I was in the hospital. Unfortunately I am disabled and I have issues where my digestion just stops. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. I am currently following up to see if surgery might be something that could help. Anyways my daughter yelled at me for days saying I was lying and not being honest. She yelled at me asking why did I not call her sooner. When I was put on the ambulance bed I accidentally dropped my cell so I didn’t have her number and I was on morphine for the pain so I just didn’t think about it. Im usually good about calling but I didn’t have her number or anyone else’s number, Im just use to having my cell.

So a month goes by and I kept trying to get ahold of her to work things out. I ended up finding out that my daughter actually blocked me on her cell. I was so crushed to find this out and its all because I didn’t make it to her graduation. When I last talked to her she was just yelling and said she was going to hang up and go take a shower because that was one thing she could control in her life. Yesterday I texted her stepmom just letting her know about my daughter blocking me. She said, oh your daughter said you blocked her. I told her never would I ever do such a thing. I just got a text from my daughter saying I need to properly apologize then she will talk to me. What did I do I have no idea, and I did already apologize to her letting her know that I would have much rather been with her on her big day. I do see red flags going off in my mind but wanted to see if anyone might have some advise.

thank you!

#Daughter #mental health #verbal abuse #paranting #Disability